Hello!
I just want to share a quite rough experience from yesterday night. I'm still feeling the effects 9 h after (but not in a psychedelic sense), more om that later.

A short background.
I've been vaping homegrown cannabis almost every evening for around 2 years. Not to make be super high but as a way to change my focus (less on doing stuff all the time), connect to my feelings, relax etc. But now I've been away from home for 5 days and haven't had any then. Not a problem to quit apart from that I wake up >10 times a night, on the positive side is that after some days I start remember my dreams again. I want to write about thought around THC, dreams, 'visuals' and DMT but that's for another time.

So one reason that I wanted to take DMT yesterday was to see if the experience would differ from when I usually have it, now that at least partly I'm clean from THC. This has been my experience from before (only a few times).

Another reason was that I've been with my close friend and neighbor for two days. Keeping his company as he's been having a very hard time. High anxiety, a breakup, a quite severe accident and on top of that has his bipolar tendencies been strong (undiagnosed/untreated). I can stay with him, listen and give my thought around his situation and healing path. I have for the most of my adult life been able to hold others when they are in strong emotions without mirroring. At times it can feel a bit distant but mostly I think it has been helpful for all involved. So another reason for wanting to take a trip/journey yesterday was to open up and see what Is going on in me, and to see if I could ee new perspectives on how I can be with him, or even ways for him to go on.

That was the setting.

I always make my place tidy and nice. Kind of a ritual. It was ~4h after my last meal. First a had a cup of Greek mountain tea (Sideritis scardica, Ive written about it here) then I drank a brew on 2.5g Syrian rue + 100mg extracted harmalas and continued cleaning the home and myself. After ~ 2,5 h I took 200 mg L-theanine. This is new for me, I've had taking it for perhaps 2 weeks (2 * 100mg a day) and then paused. I've read that it can go well with psychedelics but I also did a quick search about it + Rue. Didn't find much but what I found it seemed to be okay.

After perhaps 45 min I started to feel nauseous, this can be normal for me when I have a bit much rue, usually I throw up a few times and then have to lay still. It's okay. But this time it was really much harder. I didn't stop so fast and I also injured my throat by the puking. Felt like a damage and now it's hurting, but only when I swallow.

Anyhow. I lay down still and the nausea subdued, as it usually does. Perhaps one more purge that I started to feel fine and calm. After about 1h I thought I was good to vape the DMT. I had loaded my youcan orbit with 21mg, thinking I would split it in two. I think I managed to to that to. So 10mg i not much but the effects were strong... but as of lately (around one year) there are no visuals, but really strong nausea and more puking. Continued for perhaps 10 minutes (hard to tell), then I managed to lay down. Tossing and turning. I was in lot of strong anxiety sadness. Not many thoughts witch I usually have on these trips. I could manage but it was hard times for sure. After perhaps 1.5h I had been feeling well for some time. Calm and out of the negative feelings. Getting perspective and thinking that It might be related to the L-theanine and/or the feelings that I've harbored since the time with my friend. I then thought I could try the remains of the DMT in the orbit because usually I can have a dark first experience of the evening but it later changes if I can work it through. ... Not so this time.

After inhaling what might have been 10mg I was back into puking and the strong anxiety and sadness. Now I had the previous experience so I was a bit more calm. 'Just' having to ride it out. It took perhaps 45 min.

I slept well but a bit shaken. Still effected today but I's perhaps partly of the long time without eating/drinking. Had porridge and tea. Sitting in front of the fireplace.

I'm mostly curious of thoughts on L-theanine + Rue. DMT is always different and can for me potentiate the effects and mood that I'm having.

Hope you are well!