I was really hoping that I'd be able to get myself deeper for my birthday.

Gained some confidence with a deep experience several days ago.

The one several days ago happened after immediately waking up from a nap. I woke up, grabbed the changa bowl, stated my mantras, and just took a hit. I didn't think much about it.

This morning, I added the invocation and also turned on the light bar. I love the color purple on DMT.

The come up was intense this time. Granted I felt a little tense myself. But I was nevertheless determined, reminding myself of the following mantras throughout: Commit, surrender, let it go, be, unlock, transmute.

I found myself confronting my own death and mortality, but without any sense of finality to it, more so some mysterious continuation. The permanent ephemeral paradox. What's next is like life, and only brief in the context of infinity. But then becomes neither brief nor long. It's change. Always changing and in that way remaining unchanged...

There was this complex articulating apparatus before during this part of the experience and reflection. But otherwise, the visuals in this one were in the category of ineffable. It's hard to even remember this one. I just remember the unceasing intensity, and reflecting on how I was handling it.

Towards the end it became somatic, with discharges appearing as shaking, then tremors, then convulsing, accompanied by guttural alien utterances. It was heavy, breathing through it.

As for the utterances, this has been happening more lately. The feel automatic. The also feel externally introduced. Interesting to note.

Last thing to mention, the bowl of changa was the rest of a particular batch. I neglected to consider what this usually means; a more potent bowl. This has been my experience in the past when coming toward the end of a changa batch, as though the smaller matter has more DMT not only infused into it but also simply stuck to it.

Thank you for reading.

One love

Great dedication and discipline, keeping the DMT momentum going with the bravery and courage to confront it yet again! Nice report!

Happy Birthday! You are truly a hero and inspiration to all of us here... Leading by example

I can only add that i 100% agree with CL here. Happy birthday void!!!

You both are too kind Thank you. I'm also thankful to have relationships and to have the privilege of knowing you.

And always trying to grow and push forward. I'm stubborn. I just try to be so in productive ways

One love

This sounds like a riveting way to approach your birthday experience! Happy Birthday

P.S. Upon reading this I turned to my partner and said "these spice wizards built different, what a meaningful birthday experience".

Happy belated birthday Void! Hope you had a good one. Like to echo what others have said and to keep the good work up.

Hahahaha Thank you so much

Out of curiosity, how did your partner respond?



Thank you so so much, my friend. Always doing my best, or trying to at least

One love

She laughed and only half reacted... I've been info dumping on her for at least a week about the nexus lol

I've been here a while and still bug people by talking about this place

One love

Great way to celebrate a birthday. I do hope it was a good one.

This is a beautiful and beautifully written report. I really enjoyed it.

Near the end I found myself wondering, "Have you ever set a recorder going for your DMT sessions?" I ask because I am thinking about the utterances. Have you listened to them sober?

I really do feel DMT is good practice for death. Your words on the topic were elegant. I really enjoyed this.

It was actually rather chill and relaxing because it was also on Thanksgiving this year.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. On the idea of recording the event, I find that to be a novel idea, and something I may implement in the future. However I'd not be surprised it for some reason it never happens while the recorder is on. If it is a phenomenon that arises from an external entity or source, we know how they can be and I could see them either playing a trick or having a preference against being recorded.

I often feel this way too. It's like a die a little bit every time and what's left is a better version of me...

I'm glad you enjoyed and that it spoke to you

One love