PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Calm and serene. Approaching the experience with humility and spirituality.
(physical condition) Set: Normal
Setting (location): My home, alone, with dim ambient light and some chill mellow ambient music.
time of day: Night, around 22pm.
recent drug use: 450ug LSD one month ago.
last meal: 1-2 hours before, some tomatoes with bread and cheese.
PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male
body weight: 70kg
known sensitivities: Not very sensitive to psychedelics/drugs, and have a hard time getting OEV/CEV.
history of use: First time trying DMT.
BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Freebase DMT, extracted by me from MHRB.
Dose(s): around 15mg, but my scale is not very good, so it could be 20mg or maybe less than 15mg.
Method of administration: E-mesh
EFFECTS
Duration: Around 5 minutes from start to finish, but didn't check the clock, so I'm just assuming.
Intensity (overall): 3 = "Quite a bit;"
Evaluation / notes: Very intense, but definitely felt it can be way more intense.
OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 0
Implesantness: 3
Visual Intensity: 0
AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0 - One moment I was so scared, the next moment I was cleaning my teeth.
Afterglow: 1 - Laughing for a bit at how scary everything was and how hard it is to put words to the experience.
REPORT
After a successful MHRB extraction, I decided Today was going to be the day to try DMT. I had my home for myself since my wife was out, so I did a little ceremony to set an intention and humble myself for the experience I would have. Hoping for healing and insight.
After following your advice, I decided to start slow and only dip my toes into the hyperspace, so the plan was to take 10mg using an emesh and decide if I would take a bigger dose later. My scale sucks so much and with so little spice required, I ended up loading the mesh with what I guess were around 15mg instead, but maybe it was more.
I took one hit on the e-mesh, put it on the table, and laid myself on the sofa. I heard the DMT train sound coming to pick me up, as I've read plenty of times. I thought with a low dose, I'd have some nice colors, some fractals, and a pleasant sort of chill experience, but instead, I did not experience any colors, only mild fractals and I was instead sooo scared going on the train to hyperspace. I was very scared, but also calm, wishing for some entity or god to send me some good vibes or the welcoming feeling I've read many times, to help me combat the fear. Nothing happened, I spent what felt like 2 to 5 minutes, very scared of my mind getting lost in some interdimensional realm, outside of time and space, getting tortured for a thousand years outside my control (while always knowing I was in my sofa at home).
I had some very mild visuals, with no colors, with some fractals similar to the ones I see with other psychedelics, but I have a hard time getting any visuals at all with LSD/Mushrooms. I need high doses and weed, or I get very little to no CEV.
The experience being so intense and frightening has not been a surprise, since all of you have written it so many times. What surprised me the most was how intense and frightening it has been, when I feel I just went around two stops on the DMT train, still very far from hyperspace. Clearly I was not on the first stop, since I was far enough to feel very far from home, and I could not even hear the ambient music anymore. But I was not that far, since I was in a void with nothing. Hence the 2 stops.
After the trip I laughed a lot, thinking how scared I was. I was not sure when I would muster the strenght to try DMT again. Now, hours later, I really want to go again and challenge myself, but I'll take it slow, there's no rush.
There's something that sort of bothers me though, and I'd like insights from those more experienced than me.
I approached this experience in a humble and spiritual way. I did a little ceremony, where I wrote a page full of my intentions, and sort of expected to use the molecule as a medicine to gather insights. Instead, I've been in a scary void full of fear, and I feel I should instead approach hyperspace in a more adventurous and brave way, going to face the unknown and discover other realities, since there's been nothing not even remotely close to spiritual or positive in my first experience. Sometimes with LSD or mushrooms, I don't get spirituality or anything good at the moment either, or I get shunned down and I clearly see that I did not do something right, my intentions were wrong, or it was not the correct moment, set or setting. I did not feel anything like this Today. I just felt insanity and felt how this insanity can be scary.
Any insights?
Thank you people, you're the best forum ever!