I recently posted about how I cant breakthrough, and I was wondering if I need to just do more. I decided today was a good day to try again but I was wrong. I loaded up 30-35mg onto the e-mesh, inhaled for about 10 seconds getting all of it (I checked after, there was no residue). Held as long as I could 15+ seconds and tried to close my eyes. I had meditated for 30 minutes prior and it was a good day, I ate a small meal because I get sick if I don't, and I had some nice music playing. I was completely relaxed and ready for a breakthrough. Like the last 3 times i've done large should be breakthrough doses, I experienced almost no closed eye visuals, it was very very salvia like this time for some reason. There was no ringing no rocket launch feeling, I just felt numb and when I wasn't seeing anything with my eyes closed I opened them and it was nothing special and I actually had thought I didn't take enough and tried to check my rda. It started to ramp up after that but I HATE this place DMT sends me, it's so intense, indescribable and scary, there was absolutely no value in anything I experienced it just fucked my mind up for 10 minutes. I like to not have expectations and treat experience as experience, but I do not understand why I take these huge doses and experience only unpleasant things. It's not even that I don't like what i'm seeing, it's very interesting, but its just is too much information for my conscious mind to intake while also still in "reality"(if that makes sense). I don't want to seem like im complaining because I still find the experiences very mind blowing and have much respect for the molecule as it makes me its bitch, but I'm using all this DMT to have the lamest experiences possible. I call it lame because i've been there many times already and it's almost the same each time, I did see a couple entities I think, but they didn't speak to me or tell me anything and I couldn't really make them out. If I wasn't allowed to breakthrough for some reason Id hope they'd tell me, but I've gotten no messages every time. I try my hardest to relax and give in, but there is nothing relaxing about what I experience truly, so when I relax its pure willpower, not because im seeing something soothing or beautiful. I was also in a completely different setting than I was in my past attempts, one which was much better than previous ones but the same thing still happened.

I know I said I try not to have expectations, but when all I read and hear about DMT is how beautiful and amazing it is, its hard not to at least have slight expectations to what it should be. I would assume if everyone experienced the same stuff I have they wouldn't be saying those things about it.

Am I doing something wrong? I don't want to load more than I have to but I don't think I should be needing 40+mg to breakthrough from an E-mesh. I also did NOT BURN it, the hit was so smooth and felt very nice I could feel it until it ran out. Im considering getting stoned before I try again, maybe that will help.

E mesh settings - 204c temp control SS
I am on no medications
white and fully, extracted myself via Q21 tek.

It may be that it's simply not something that's necessarily of much use to you in the immediate moment - but we can't discount that somewhere down the line, in the fullness of time you may, suddenly or otherwise, come to realise what it was all about, or find value in it in some other way.

It could also be that, while you may feel that you are fully accepting of whatever the experience may turn out to be like, the sheer intensity and rapidity of it all is causing a reflex psychological resistance, which is hardly surprising I can assure you! The way in which you speak of your recent experience ("I hate it," "makes [you] its bitch," etc.) rather highlights this for me. You may well find value in the DMT experience as part of your deeper path of self-development but it sounds to me like you have rather more expectations than you would care to admit.

You may like to consider adding a harmala pre-dose to your regimen at this stage; it would slow the onset to a possibly more manageable rate which may help to come to terms with whatever the heck this stuff is about!
And one further thing that springs to mind is - try smiling! I'm consistently surprised by the degree to which facial expression can affect the subjective content of DMT trips, as well as harmala dreams come to mention it.

Have a good dig around in the forum and you'll likely find further hints and tips for moving towards a more optimal kind of experience. It simply isn't some kind of guaranteed fast-track to nirvana (despite what the ads may claim )

thank you for the reply brody

I think I can understand a psychological block however, maybe me saying hate was on overreaction because I still find it enjoyable although it's nothing like what ive heard it was, and what i've head sounds so much nicer lol. Also I don't see it making me its bitch as a negative thing inherently, as I am completely down for whatever it wants to do with me, just the point im at currently feels its not doing something i'd like, just ONLY what it wants, which is an expectation ik but its pretty hard not to have expectations when you've experienced none of what you see everyone else talking about. I never expected it to be a fast track to nirvana either, i've had more insightful experiences in deep meditation than with DMT so far.

I also expect to not be different than everyone else, so when I read 35mg could be a blackout dose, and I hit it without even a breakthrough, it's hard not to think.

I will definitely try harmala tho. And I always try to smile, usually when the jesters are around, they haven't been around recently though so smiling hasn't had such an effect on me .

Not everyone is allowed to enter this world. These decisions are made from above. Just deal with it.
So you are not given, or you are not yet ready for a breakthrough.
Once you're ready and approved, the jesters will open the gates of hyperspace for you.

I have the same problem. I've never really had a very great DMT experience. I've seen some cool visuals, and I closed my eyes once and saw entities, but I never really felt like it was a breakthrough experience. I've tried it many ways, GVG, sandwiched, oil burner, even a dab rig. I've wasted probably 2 or 3 grams of DMT. I always get very close, but never seen to go the extra mile. I got about a g of DMT left, and I want to make the most out of it, does anyone have a way to guarantee a breakthrough for me?
Learnandexpand

i have had better luck with a vape pen than with smoking the powder straight from my Yocan evolve. The vape pen is great because you can hit it and breakthrough, or hit it, and then if you want more, just hit it again and again until you get there. Some people have to hit the pen like 5 timess to breakthrough and others just need one hit. But it's good because you do;t have to repack anything, it's just ready to go. Maybe try that rout.

OMG that's why I take it! I've tried with MAOI too.