So, Ive had this thought/feeling in the back of my head for a while now that I find somewhat distressing.

This sensation of being stuck in this eternal loop, I think about all the suffering that we go trhough, and I feel like I know we will go trough it forever again, stuck, eternally, though the ups and downs and ups and downs, I feel homesick, tired.

I feel like this carries into my day to day, the game is not fun anymore, yet I have to keep playing it, forever.

I know Im probably missing the point, but I felt like sharing.

You don't have to be stuck in this eternal loop. What you're experiencing is the result of attachment to self.



You don't have to keep playing it. You can find a way to separate yourself from the false layers of self one by one. This won't always be a pleasant process, but the result is complete nonattachment. These things that bother you now seem meaningless to the enlightened person. Indeed, you will not even recognize the reality of these things.

Your dissatisfaction can be the fuel, but is it fuel for a radical, unimaginable change? Or perhaps it's simply fuel you to shed your skin and find new layers of identity that lessen the suffering?

Indian religions and their descendants throughout Asia tend to be the ones that reckoned with cyclicality as an existential, religious problem the most. I’d have a look at those and see if any of them speaks to you.

If you want to make a radical change and put all your focus on getting out of the cycle, Wat Pah Nanachat in Thailand is one of the most intensive practice communities you’ll ever run into, and they take English speakers.

But, if something like that seems appealing on the surface, be sure to ask yourself: cycles in what sense? The above group means it in terms of literal life after death rebirth processes, as do just about all the Indian religions and their descendants. Zen is a notable exception; Zen people generally don’t care too much about rebirth.

Maybe the silver lining is when the soul transmigrates, we forget what previous incarnations were like, so the game seems new.

While there are many ideas out there about how to break such cycles, no one seems to really know what's going on, and sometimes we could be swapping one delusion for another, more comfortable one or even meaningful perhaps. Not sure any of that is a bad thing, just something to realize.

Accepting our lack of control, trying to remain compassionate yet unattached (particularly with regard to our own internal feelings and emotions), and being with it may be your best options. Even shifting layers of perspective to see things in a new light.

But that's all easier said than done.

What distresses you the most about it?

Do you think that the nature of such suffering remains the same in experience?

What do you think you can do about this?

One love

Ive been spending some time with children for the past few years, its certainly refreshing, for them its all new and exciting, a leaf full of water, a dead slug, life is playful again.


I feel like you guys get the tone that I want to change something, but I dont know if there is anything I want to change, as a matter of fact Im quite tired of trying to change things.


I dont think there is much to be done about it Void, if life is fundamentally an endless cycle, what am I to do about it?
I assume its a matter of perspective.
Its the feeling that even if it its a matter of perspective, we are going to forget that again, not so much on a personal level, but as on droptlets from the sea kind of thing, which is sort of glass half empty way to look at it I guess.

Ive been carrying this for a while, I guess it was time to let it out, Ive actually been feeling quite refreshed this morning.

I say the solution is to enjoy the ride as much as possible. It's a skill rather than a trick. We are bombarded by negative energies we assume our own and make us feel miserable. However, the plants have the ability to make us see what's behind our thoughts and emotions and help to purge the negative energy out. From there on however we need to fill ourselves with what makes us feel content, grateful and joyful. It's not a trick but a skill that takes time to develop. So instead of focusing on the "ultimate", focusing on the particular can be an answer that brings satisfaction.

Definitely fair, you did say you just wanted to share, so it may have been helpful to just let it out. I think we all assumed potential request for help based off you having said the experience is distressing.



Maybe taking this to heart can be as interesting for you as it has been for me



Thanks for sharing this. It's a good reminder to enjoy in general more.

One love

Being too tired to want to change things is one thing, but it does sort of sound like you have some pain you’d prefer not to have, if it were a matter of just clicking a button. Is that a fair assessment?

I have, for the past few days, been thinking about going for a deeper journey Void, so maybe I am looking for some change.


There can definately be an overlap between the feeling I was letting out and some more personal, encysted stuff.

I do certainly feel stuck on a personal level, not really feeling that this is the life I would like to live, so many things I would like to change... just to end up disillusioned when none of them happen.
At this point just the thought of making some change drains me of the litte energy I have available.


Oh, Eros, there are so many kinds of pain I wish I could get rid of, so many pleasures I would embrace for eternity, you are not wrong in that sense.

I feel like at times it just gets worse by trying to get rid of it, others it really needs you to go down there, pry yourself open, and take the roots out.
For the most part, Ive learned to welcome it.

I’ll admit, this sounds like the kinda depression that might be responsive to Western psychiatrists and possibly antidepressants. That “tired/futile” sort of descriptor where things sound kinda “numb” - someone in the mental health field explained to me once that while antidepressants are overprescribed, they kind of shine at dealing with the “numb” levels in depression. I have no idea whether that is true, that is just something that a person told me once, also have no idea whether you’re “depressed” in any clinical sense, what your medical background is, whether you might have tried that…… but, for some people that route is helpful. It’s also been explained to me that it’s not a permanent solution, but like MDMA therapy does for a few hours, it can offer a few months or years of a grace period in which to be empowered to alter some things in life that led to a place where things get so futile…..

Just wanted to throw it out there, as an aside from such sage advice as doing powerful hallucinogens or entering monastic life or contemplating psychological attachment, as I and others have offered All potentially very good ideas, each and every one of which personally helped me - but, there’s also the less weird and possibly from some perspectives more responsible route too (emphasis on the “from some perspectives”)

-edit- I once asked a Zen priest, who is also a professional psychotherapist, whether he thought the Buddha was depressed. He emphatically said no, because the Buddha was overwhelmingly energetic and driven to accomplish his mission. There was no “futility/can’t get out of bed” sense that is part of his story’s description. There’s a certain sense of horror at the cyclicality of samsara, but not depression. He named his son “Rahula”, “fetter” (“ball and chain”) - which indicates that he wasn’t so much slumped into life as claustrophobic and intensely driven to resolve the problem of cyclical existence. Depression might not be the correct fuel to deal with samsara. In fact, “virya”, energy, is a crucial perfection which must be cultivated for practice to succeed. I note all of this simply because this post was placed in the “mysticism” section, and it may be worth pondering.

I once met a German monk in Thailand who came to ordain due to his dissatisfaction with life, but he didn’t seem to have been so much “depressed” as disillusioned. He had found romantic connection, a career, all the things that were supposed to bring fulfillment, and his sense had been “this is it?”. He was very happy and fulfilled with his choice to become a monastic.

So, I did end up going for a deeper journey, I didnt have the intention to focus on any of this in particular but some of it did inevitably come up.

I believe what I was missing is gratitude.
While the game itself is endless there is some sort of freedom in it, its hard to explain, but the possibilityto appreciate every moment seems to be a fundamental part of the game.

So... how was it?



While I'm the guy that questions the statement "life is good," (is it? do we tell ourselves that just so we can handle it better? Isn't it (life) what it is, ie, neither good nor bad?), I do deeply feel that we can have gratitude for what we do have and experience in life, especially that which heals, sources, fulfills, and sustains us. I'm glad that you found the gem you were likely seeking.



Such an absurdist statement Beautiful.

One love

Its been the first time in a while that I actually feel like a get some sort of insight out of psychedelic use, which seems I am now grateful for.

I spent some time playing the game, it wasnt a particularly visual or sensory experience, mostly an exploration of a more balanced and harmonious state, still illusury and bound by its own set of rules, albeit more playful/divine ones.
I meditated/focused on this vision, it, or I, was a pyramid, a pyramid made of threads of energy/light, it looked like as if it was covered in a pink-ish flowy energy-woven fabric, except for the corners, those looked like blocks of gold.

In a sense it felt like I was letting energy flow through me as efficiently as possible, at some point I though about keeping 1% of that energy for me, but it seemed unwise. Body and mind are no longer in charge.
I felt sort of isolated from the rest of the universe, yet still doing my part, the path is ever inward and onward. My trips seem to be completely devoid of entities too.

It felt familiar, this places usually feel like home to me.
It was a nice review of the rules of the game, things like will, faith, gratitude, the mystery and the illusions all fell into place.

I do feel like there is some amount of responsibility to sort of put all of that into practice, so I have to watch out for that.