I struggle to type these words but being a guy of expression I feel its only right to share this with you. my friends.
I am Unsure how to say this but Its something I need to say
some of you may have noticed a lack of activity from myself around here lately.
the truth is that only in the last days have me and my family been ripped apart by the most horiffic and devasting news that my big brother "raymond" has an agressive cancereous tumour in its late stages.
at the moment are waiting results of an mri scan to see if it has spread to any other organs around his bladder.
initial and frank prognosis from the consultant made him aware there is a very high chance the tumour may be inoperable.
Raymond also emergency heart surgery proceedure as a new born. so any treatment has to be carefully scrutinised not only by the consultant oncologist but also cardiologist.
he has been having trouble with his bladder for over a year now, doctors have been sending him away with anti-biotics and cathetars. last week he went in to renal failure (kidneys), it was through a routine keyhole type examination that the tumour was spotted and immediately labelled as not benign and in actual fact "aggressive"
I dont want to lose my brother, he was the one who allowed me to say phrases like "absolute gent" with conviction and credibility....simply because they were based on him. he is my hero ,
in absolute coincidence I am due to Dj at an event in Nottignham this saturday .All proceeds from this night are being handed to "Cancer research"??? a sad yet poignant snchronicity. this is due to the events promoter's epic and monumental memorial and support for the loss of his dear father to this unrelentless and uforgiving disease few years ago..
My brother told me to get down there and rip the place apart for him although its the last thing I want to do I will do t for him. it maks me more determined.
I will be wavering and donating all my travel expenses/fees for this dj set to "cancer research".
I am up and down at the moment, each day seeming ike a dreamlike limbo.
I dont think I will be posting as often at the moment. and my at first enthusiastic and eager support and contribution to our " CEL" has been de-prioritised as I am on auto pilot jut now.
Im not leaving, Its just my way of handling things. I need to rally around my brother and rest of the family just now.
but remember you are my family also. I hold you in an eternal high esteem and love.
Im just going to be a little quiet at the moment.
I will still check up here regularly just dont really know if I can or will be able to add anything usefull to our discussions due to a pre occupied mind.
I will bounce back If Im anything like my beloved brother, he is a fighter! and shamefully for me he is showing more stength and ressilliace than myself in this horible time.
I thank you all in advance for your undertanding and look forward to discussing and reading more with you another time.
ambi lysergance is a fictional character who in the realms of fantasy indulges in such topics as science, arts and psychoactive plant induced visions