I had vaped DMT twice before on this day and this third go around came after a break of several hours.
The first experience was 11 mgs with not much to bring back other than I was on a bizarre landscape with these beams of light coming down from the sky or ceiling. Anthropomorphic entities were rushing towards these beams and when they entered the beams their limbs multiplied and they became hyper-spiders.
I don’t have much more to report other than picking up another English word in the rainbow blinking marquis and that word all in caps was CATS.
My second experience was with 17 mgs. Also not a lot to report. The marquis were everywhere and spinning into disks and other textures. I wound up in a pink hilly space full of these marquis and alien structures and entities telling me to freaking breakthrough already LOL. A bit creepy. Yet also tempting to increase the dose.
My third experience was 22 mgs. Please keep in mind I am older and profoundly sensitive to drugs so it basically hit me like a solid 44 mgs.
In coming back to DMT I have tried higher doses - 23 and 25 mgs. 25 mgs yielded the Heaven and Hell Inside My Head report but my memory of it was not even at half of the level of intensity the current experience. The thing about this 22 mgs is I had really refined my vaping technique at this point and I vaped it fast and hard, getting most of it in on the first hit, holding a long time and lightly coughing (rare for me with DMT - good hit!) visible vapor, then finished it off with a decent second hit. The third hit was clear - no visible vapor.
It started immediately and was undeniable and irresistible.
It started with me rocketing down these sinusoidal paths at about Warp 9. They were square bordered corridors, in a blacker than black, shiny tone that had vertical dividing lines and colorful multi-fasceted . . . things . . . inhabiting them. I could not control my path as I shot through these tunnels. I could see it split off into other dimensions, left and right, up and down and off to diagonals but I just kept warping in an uncontrollable manner.
I got the strong sense I had taken too much. I tried to mentally buckle up, as I know this is part of the bargain and can happen at any time. I also knew I only had one person to blame.
Ever since I was privileged to spend about 12 years living with a gorgeous, regal, highly intelligent and friendly brown street cat I have had a great love for and appreciation of the color brown and all of its’ hues.
I made it to the end of the tunnel network and it’s hard to describe but the tunnels just started opening up and expanding and suddenly I was in a layered bright circular, glowing and shining brown landscape, that was divided not only in terms of horizontal layers but also had vertical subsections. There was a DEEP and powerful sense or feeling of deja vu. Some time, some life, some when, some dimension, I had been here before. My perspective was from the outside of the sphere or curve. In other words, the whole landscape was curving towards me in a convex manner.
Each subsection was inhabited by an extremely pushy and alien entity. These entities were compact, mechanical, square or boxlike and had a lot of protruding and moving objects. They were bright and colorful, radiating light and interest and dominance.
This “landscape” was rolling towards me very rapidly and in repititive waves, with the motion being top to down. It would rapidly roll forward, I would see the dividing lines and the divisions would resolve into individual entity rooms. The boxy, machine entities would see me, rush forward with all kinds of prody, pokey, protroding rods, wires, cones, mechanical eyes and more.
I kept trying to ask them for help for Nemo and I but that was not going over well in this space. They were NOT taking requests. They were very VERY interested in who had dropped into their highly organized world and really wanted to know more about me. Their intentions were good, it was just so high paced, frenetic and INTENSE. Absolutely overwhelming.
The space was exquisitely beautiful, alien and operating on a much higher, much more organized level that was very fast and vibrational than consensual reality. The word filters when applying to consensual reality and the concept of being stripped of all filters was perfect in this situation. I was as psychically naked in there as someone who still has an “I” left could be.
There was no sense of the sacred or numinous here. Rather just an excessively alien realm completely jacked up on an overwhelming level of speed and intensity.
The brown layers were very highly polished and had an inner glow or light as was everything on the entities and there was a sense of openness or vastness about the space. The body load was massive. My heart was pounding, my hands were curling into claws, or so I thought.
My husband said I did moan and groan a bit. If asked I would have said I was gasping for breath and exhaling in a way that made “phew!” sounds.
I kept trying to not panic and would try to fall back on peace, love, healing, acceptance, integration, intentionality, my personal mantra. I’d make it to acceptance (good!) then just loose it (and myself for a bit) as I got OVERWHELMED by the vision. This happened more than once with the competing/partitioned thought of, “Well this would be an interesting way to die.” Also telling the entities I loved them but goodbye because I probably wasn’t going to be able to dose at this level again soon. I knew exactly how I had gotten there - it was my choice and action.
The situation eventually changed and I was in a very tall, rather tight vertical space with entities and machines that were all moving to the left in a circular manner. The vibe was pure party. The more I was there the more I started to smile and chuckle. It’s like I was being injected with a bit of ecstacy. I don’t mean MDMA. I mean the refined, purified SOURCE of ecstacy. I got a mental injection.
I wound up in an odd miniature “play” city with spinning, circular pastel rings that were inhabited by little entities, vehicles and habitations. Everything here was pastel, small and toy or play like. I realized that the brown geometry alien machine entities had sent me to hyperspace preschool because I JUST COULD NOT TAKE IT!
Again the emotion was of HIGH humor. The ecstacy injection effects were lingering.
It was about at this point in Shpongle’s I am You that the line came up, “I always take just a little bit too much . . . oh my Grandmother would kill me!” This is where I started kind of laughing out loud. I realized at that time I had lost the music for awhile. It was good to be back at such a humorous point.
I was also being brushed by weird tactile hallucinations as my full body sense returned.
When I first opened my eyes the room was coming back but shimmered as if broken up into giant rainbow raindrops.
As I sat up to type my body control was difficult, typing was slow and plodding, single word, pause, single word. This improved at a steady rate.
I was left a bit shaken and overwhelmed, yet laughing. That was definitely enough DMT for today.
The day after I feel calm yet oddly close to death. Apparently I took a big chomp out of my left cheek while in hyperspace.
I am just trying to take things in and breathe. The memories of yesterday are very immediate and intense. This is going to take a little time to process/integrate.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU