After a successful day of work, feeling happy about myself and scoring me all the dune books i decided to vape what was currently on my emesh. I had 15mg of my recently Re-X’d spice on it.
The preflight anxiety was strong today. I rolled on my couch deciding if i should or should not. At some point i decided what i wanted to do, went in my bedroom with my e-mesh setup and layed down on my bed. I wanted to not have music with this one.
It took me a really long time and phases of heavy heartbeats but i mustered up my courage and dragged on my pipe. I do believe the heat was too high so the vapor was somewhat harsh.
As i came up i i was once again greeted with this wonderful, powerful looking mandala overlay. I found out this is only the case for me when im freebasing only and not with rue!
This time i got the full 15mg inside of me, only a little vapor was left in my mouthpiece. Quickly i went into a very familiar headspace. Shiny surfaces, blue and red to a black background. Pretty quick i got into communication with a single entitiy. This was interesting. Lately i’ve been all about „Who are you, what is this here and who am I?!“, but this time it was more of a casual conversation.
I had the feeling of meeting my neighbour and talking to him at the frontyard. I do believe people recall this place the waiting room.
At one point i opened my eyes and im seeing this wonderful mandala again. It looks so powerful, almost like some animalistic or primal thing. Highly detailed and very fierce. Im interested in what im seeing there. Maybe thats some form of expression of myself? Like some sort of emmission i shine in the world? I am intrigued by that. Id like my essence to shine like a primal fierce animal ngl. Sounds cool.
The dialogue with this single entitiy, which again i couldnt really make out, was very personal and i told him im alright but something is bugging me. I quickly spilled the beans and told the entitiy i met a girl today, i wanted to talk with her more and see „what she thinks of it“. This, in the context of the dmt – Knowledge was rather interesting. Like i meant „how she thinks of my essence“ lol! I got some workout and it showed me that its rather simple and im overcomplicating alot IRL.
All during this dialogue it was a rather erotic scenery, i bent myself visually (so like the trip) in all sorts of shapes and it felt really good. It was a highly detailed trip with lots to take in. When i came back i wasn’t really in WTF-mode, slightly, but i realized this was really contextual. Just some nice pure conversation with an allknowing being. The contact went on for a while when i had my eyes opened. I told to myself (or the entity asked me? Doesnt matter its all me anyways lol) „You will keep something of this, right?“, which made me chuckle.
Oh, i almost forgot! With having no music on i was able to listen to the mechanics of my mind throughout the whole trip. Even during the afterglow there were some really neat synth like sounds being created from my brain. Ive been used to having lots of audio effects when using psychedelics and enjoying them with dmt was really good. Not crazy like on lsd with 5 added layers but like im playing myself like an instrument.
Im feeling confident to go deeper now. At 15mg i lost touch with my body completely in an easy way. There was nothing to fear dropping in. I think next step would be to try 20mg and see where that gets me, it could possibly break me through i believe. Its great getting more comfortable in these inner spaces of myself and gaining courage to explore them. A big step today was that i wasnt so question driven. I mostly accepted it and gained alot from it.
All in all a very welcoming trip and some profound knowledge gained, while seeing some fantastic sights! <3