So I had my first experience with DMT about 10 years ago. I was gifted a pretty sizeable rock of pure white spice and I explored it and experimented with it over the course of several months. It changed my life to be certain. Since then, I have maybe done it 3 or 4 times, low dose 1 offs here and there with others. I recently decided to finally just make my own, since I think about it often, yet I cannot source it locally and do not trust online vendors. I am one of those people who would prefer not to pay for dmt or sell it or associate it with monetization in any way, and thats just a personal preference. Maybe its silly, but that's how I prefer to approach it.
In any case, I finished my 1st extraction a couple days ago, and hoooooly WOW, it turned out great. I dipped in a couple times in the last couple days and it reminds me why I have endured so much pain and suffering the last few years of my life, without ever considering taking my life or harming others. The Universe came down on me like never before, ripped away everything I thought I cared about until all I had left to care about was myself.. and care about myself I do indeed. After hitting the pipe and sitting back and baring witness to the indescribably cool looking multicolored liquid geometric light show, I am able to remember why i endured so much suffering.. because whatever caused all of those bad things to happen to me all at once is also capable of THIS.. this.. aesthetic nirvana from my future.. from OUR future. I think we get to believe whatever we wish to believe in this life.. Whatever makes us happy, whatever is helpful, whatever makes the most sense, whatever is the most entertaining, thrilling, or fun thing to believe.. because if the DMT experience is to be believed (and how can it not be), then that suggests that literally everything is possible. Everything is true. Everything is false. Everything is real. Everything is fake. We are free to believe how and what we choose to believe, and I like to believe that I am experiencing the equivalent of some sort of ancestor simulation. After one go with DMT, I'm not sure how anyone could assume that this isn't the past, because CLEARLY, whatever the fuck it is that DMT shows you.. is in the future of whatever our present is.. I mean.. dude.. its soooo fuuuuckn COOL!
The experience of and the memory of my experiences with DMT has given me ultimate peace in the deepest part of my soul, and has given me strength to push through the darkest moments in my life. I don't know what it is, but how could I actually worry or fret after having experienced these things? And yet sometimes, I forget.. and I get angry or frustrated or impatient or.. worried.. But there is absolutely nothing to worry about, and it feels really good to remember that.