*The mushrooms talked about during this are all white teacher strain*

On the first day, I harvested my fresh mushrooms early in the morning. I enjoy eating them fresh by blending them up with lemonade. I took 50 grams. Which should be 5 grams dried with varying potency of course. Was a mild trip for me. Last time I took 50 grams fresh a year ago it was rather intense. However I emptied out a lot of baggage I was holding onto during this trip. Overall it was a very healthy experience.

Its quite odd coming back to thought patterns and ways of thinking you have forgotten about. When your just thinking about yourself and nothing else it feels so strange. Almost like your being is alien to your own thoughts. That morning I just sat on top of my gate looking off into the woods for an hour. Afterwards nothing out of the ordinary happened. Had a slight headache after my trip which is normal. Was able to sleep just fine since my trip had taken place in the morning.



After waking up early again I checked my mushrooms and harvested once more. This time I ended up with 100 grams fresh. I then went to my computer to figure out tolerance because I only knew that for DMT. I never took mushrooms 2 days in a row. I always space trips out but I didn't want to waste this chance. From what I found you need to double your dose generally. Most people just advised waiting to reset tolerance. After debating what I should do I said fuck it!

Started to blend them up and immediately drank the whole thing in one minute. I couldn't help but smile to myself. I wanted to blast off to space and go deeper than ever. Although I wasn't sure if my tolerance would make this just an average trip, but I really wanted to experiment and see how my tolerance worked.

I sat back in my glorious pewdiepie chair and had been really focused on adventure time for like a solid hour or so I think. I could feel the trip kick in 5-10 minutes after consumption. Thats a good indication this is going to be intense. However since my focus was on the screen I didn't know what was happening to my surroundings. I expected for things to be extremely wavy. That wasn't the case. Everything was racing like the come up of a DMT trip. The words on my tea box had become moving symbols.

I noticed my voice had a huge amount of base to it. The few words I said felt like they were passing through dimensions. I felt tremendous energy just surging through me. This was intense but it kept ramping up, someone actually called me during this, I put the phone on speaker and say ".....hello?" with some guy replying "is this Jennifer" then I hung up because I'm not Jennifer and this is the 5 fucking time they called me in the past week.



I closed my eyes at this point and can't really describe anything of what I saw. It wasn't like DMT geometry at all, or mushroom fractals. I felt my brain connecting to every part of itself. I thought about leaving my body but I've never done so on mushrooms. Just on DMT and didn't know if it was a good idea.

I opened my eyes again and had and odd thought surface. I remembered thinking about how a monk can meditate to death. I also couldn't help but keep looking up at the painting of my dead cat. I just wanted to be with her again. I miss her more than anything. Don't worry though, I'd never want to prematurely die for my selfish wants, I still have family that I can't leave behind here. I have animals who still need me to love and feed them. I remember thinking if I yelled at the top of my lungs I could teleport through my mouth. That was a scary thought.

Sometime after that I remember feeling around in my brain and moving things around. At this point I kept forgetting to breathe, so I had to keep reminding myself. When I started feeling this way I realized I turned something on in my brain that was causing this. I started to feel as though I was thinking myself to death and couldn't stop. I felt like I was leaving this reality. Then this huge wave hit.

During this I also thought about practicing boxing while dying so great thing I didn't act on that. I started to drink water and realized that didn't help and stopped. I didn't want to die from over hydrating. During all of this I wasn't even scared it was bizarre I was still calm. I had visions of already being dead and trying to cope with how I died. Knowing I left my love ones alone. I tried to just breathe but I actively couldn't. My body was SURGING, no air was coming in. THEN TIME JUST STOPPED. Everything stopped moving. Everything out of my window even stopped. The animals stopped moving. Everything was so quiet but I felt like I was in a rocket ship at the same time, the most intense it has ever gotten.

At this point my body reacted very naturally by itself hindering my breath to an extreme minimum. I was in absolute survival mode. I realized if I breathed deep I would die. I can't let the mushrooms take me to my death. Normally I go with the flow of the trip but I had to keep in control and keep conscious.

This wasn't an ego death. I've experience ego death before and it wasn't this. Nor was it an overdose. You can't physically eat enough to OD. I couldn't tell you for how long I was stuck in time, maybe 10 minutes? It felt like hours. I could lightly breathe again sometime after. Then when I finally inhaled I could genuinely take in air again.

When I knew I was off of mr. bone's wild ride I collapsed in my chair. My body was very fatigued and all I could do was breathe. I started laughing really hard at the fact I almost died. I wasn't scared to take that dose again in the future. Took me 2 days to recover from that. Funny enough never had a headache after this. My tolerance also seems pretty low considering what happened which is great to know.

HOWEVER let it be a warning for other people. I'm still confident in my dosages. If you take high doses like me just be prepared for anything. Love you all!

WanderingCat,

Thank you so much for sharing this intense experience. It sounds like quite a ride.

You say it wasn't an ego death but it sounds like the mushrooms were trying really hard to take you to that place. Do you think if you ever find yourself in a similar space you might be able to just surrender to your "death?" There is like a 99.99% chance you will be back in 10 mins to 4 hours.

I am so sorry for the loss of your cat and the enduring grief that has caused. Pets are family members and they live longer than ever now so that truth of the previous statement has never been more relevant.

Would you be willing to share a picture of this cat with us?

Also, for the record, please do drink lots of water without fear. A human must consume upwards of 20 liters in a day for it to become vaguely dangerous. I've done 6 in a day and trust me, all I had time for basically was slamming water and peeing what felt like gallons. You will be fine. Go ahead and drink, .

I am not surprised that doubling your dose send you deep. Typically shrooms and acid take about a week to reset but if you dose massive you can achieve strong effects on day two.

Again, thanks for the share. This was a well written, compelling report and not many folks are posting experience reports these days. I really enjoyed reading it.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! By far the most intense and unique experience I've had. Even compared to leaving my body on DMT.



So here is the really confusing part. I've definitely went through ego death before. In fact I take huge doses because I welcome them. I've had ego death once on mushrooms but many more times on DMT. I know what that's like but none of what happened during this experience felt anywhere close to what I'm use to ego death feeling like. Somehow leaving my body on DMT was nowhere near as intense as this. I don't remember ever feeling like I couldn't breathe even when leaving my body. I swear I was thinking myself to death, but even then maybe it really was an ego death. My body never entered a survival mode state like that before either which came so natural.



Out of everything in my life she was and still is the most important thing to me. I have a huge selfish desire to want to leave this life now just so I can be with her again. Yet I know its selfish and I choose to stay. Can't go early so I'm staying for the long run. I know that it can't be any other way. I couldn't just waste the rest of my life away for myself. I plan on staying alive to help take care for other animals that need me. Her is name is Browning and yes and I'd be happy to show you a picture of her.

I still don't regret anything and plan to dose another 100 grams in the future. Even more when I know I'm confident enough too. It was a great experiment as well. Seems tolerance didn't just give me the same trip like I assumed it would. Happy I went through something so crazy. Its what I feel born to do

Thank you for this amazing pic. Browning was beautiful and looks like she was a good trip sitter.

If she could speak to you she would agree that you should stay in the game and continue to help animals. Blessings of the Goddess Bastet upon both of you.

You will see Browning again. Hyperspace, The Rainbow Bridge, whatever, time does not work the same way there. You can live another 100 years and she will be there for you. I truly believe this.

You have important work left to do. A lot of it.