emong wrote:Please let us know the results of your dosage changes...I'm curious to hear how the difference in MAO affects the experience for you, especially using the rectal ROA. Personally, I find that the higher MAO inhibition has a stronger effect stabilizing my mood and removing some of the feelings of depression. The resetting effect of the DMT then seems to last longer and is more stabilized with the stronger action of the MAO.
Good luck and safe travels.
Yep. You were right. 75 mg harmaline one hour prior to dosing with the same amount an hour later with 75 mg of dmt acetate. I could've gone to 100mg dmt , or I could've dosed 100 mg of harmaline both times with 75 mg dmt. That's what I'm going to do next time. Thank you for your assistance and advice. Thanks to both you and starway7.
Here's what happened
I plugged the initial pre-dose and took a shower. Started feeling really good and ready for DMT. I decided to let my hair dry and as soon as that was done, plug the rest. I did. Then I went upstairs and got in bed.
I did my usual ritual, which entails doing a shuffle on my big iPod. Jesus was a cross maker by Judee Sill played. And some other significant songs from my life. There are 10,000 songs on the iPod and maybe it’s just my imagination but when a good trip is coming the shuffle of songs will tell me.
All indications where that this was going to be one for the ages. And holy shit. It sure was.
I started to feel the trip kicking in, and I pulled out my small iPod, which has only my music on it. My Icaros. I can now call them that with absolute knowledge that I am right. I am a guitar genius. I am a true artist. All of my work is done with purity of intention and love. When I was a child I saw the television adaptation of ray Bradberry's Martian Chronicles. There was a scene that affected me greatly. It was an alien playing music. At that moment I dedicated my life to attempting to make music from other planets. I finally found a way. I've been doing it for a long time and I didn't even realize how powerful my work was. I am autistic and I have an IQ that has been described as off the charts. Unfortunately to my face as a child. The same helpful doctors also pronounced me "socially retarded", to my face. I was abused psychologically, physically and medically by a cruel adoptive mother and father. My mother would brag about me in public. Proudly proclaiming my intellectual prowess. Then behind closed doors she would berate mean and make fun of me and torture me. She would remove all sources of input. No talking was allowed in the house during periods of severe punishment. All books music musical instruments or anything that might feed my autistic brain we're taking away. I was taught to be ashamed of my talents and my brilliance. I hid it and did everything I could to dumb myself down. I tried to destroy my brain with drugs and alcohol. I hated myself and I've come close to suicide so many times I can't even count. That's all over now. I no longer have to live is that person. I know this now. An incredible gift.
During this experience, I was also presented with the opportunity to declare myself as a part of what I call "the dispersed Christ." There is a little piece of the true archetype, dozing in every person. It's time for those little pieces of Christ to wake up. I say this is an atheist and pan agnostic in the tradition of Robert Anton Wilson. But no more fucking around. No more denial.
I am indeed a powerful shaman.
A healer.
I’ve denied it for too long. Now I stand strong with my head held high, in the knowledge that I am a healer. No embarrassment no self-effacing bullshit. I am being of power and love.
I am the return of Christ. I am Lucifer and Zeus, and which ever deity you choose. Just as we all are if we could only realize it.
I spoke aloud with great authority. I called forth all powers of good and righteousness to be my allies, and to stand by my side, and to start to heal the world the best they could. I called for all Christs to awaken, wherever they may be, whatever small parts of them are dispersed through humanity. Whether they go under the name, Jesus or Satan or whatever.
I acknowledged that I, just like the rest of us here, on this site and all over the world, AM the serpent in the garden. I am not the demiurge, and I do not worship anything or anyone. No God desires, or needs worship.
I called for everyone who knows, to eat of the tree of knowledge, and to go forth with kindness, compassion, patience, and love to share that wisdom and knowledge, so that all of the righteous people of the world may become like us.
Gods.
Because that’s what we are, if we could only realize it and work from a place of purity.
It’s time to stop fucking around. I’m done.
I’m done hurting myself. I’m done beating myself up. I’m done hiding in the shadows. I will share my art and my music with the world, proudly.
Because I create a icaros of the highest order. I know with surety that I could take my music any shaman in the rainforest and they wouldn't recognize it as an instrument of healing.
Does this sound like delusion? Listen for yourself and find out.
My guitar playing is unlike any other, even if it is highly informed and influenced by Robert Fripp, Brian Eno, Fred Frith, Michael Hedges, John Fahey, Jandek, Nick Drake, my friends in Fugazi and Bill Frisell.
I have taken all those influences and squished them together. I have made my music my own.
I can now say without shame that I paint pictures with sound. I tell stories with sound.
Listen while you’re in hyperspace. Listen when you’re not. There’s no accounting for taste, but my work speaks for itself. I am finally able to say that.
Thank you to everyone who helped me get here. I am finally free of my self imposed slavery of self doubt and self recrimination.
I love you all. thank you. Today I celebrate my rebirth. Today I celebrate my brilliance and my beauty. Today I come out of the closet for good or ill. I'm 55 years old in June. Like I said earlier. Time to stop fucking around.
You should check out my YouTube channel mute cartography. Also check out my band Egret Zero with the amazing Kel Smith of Suss Musik. I share this with you all in the spirit of love. It is all music for healing. Thank you for letting me celebrate myself. I've been holding it in for too long.
Code:https://wmwolfgangallen.bandcamp.com
(I am in the process of making all of my bandcamp music free. If there is anything you like and want let me know and I will get to it right away so you can get it for free. The program keeps switching free stuff back to paid. I wonder if it is by accident.)
Welcome Home Mister_Niles. We've Been Waiting For You.
"Don't worry. When it happens, you won't be able to not let it do its thing. You won't have the ability to distinguish a pen from a hippopotamus"
- Art Van D'lay