Thank you for the encouragement brother. Finding some deeper aspects of myself have given me some new tools/weapons. You could say the monster is hungry.

One love

Demons are such tough opponents because they're these very dark parts of ourselves.

But you've always been a beacon of positivity and warmth around here (except for that one thread we all like to forget about , wich was totally understandable given where it came from).
And i think that matters. By being a shining light, even when things get dark, you are defeating this demon bit by bit.

Thank you, I really appreciate that. My posting frequency as been lower, not only as a result of an internal focus that I presently have that has also made me less social, but because of those fiascos.

I'll keep shining bright, helping all who need it to find their way

One love

Am I alone,
In feeling,
And thinking,
That perhaps,
There's some,
Misunderstanding,
Overgeneralizing,
Oversimplification,
And too much reduction
With this thing,
Claimed to be a facet of self,
We commonly call the ego?
Must it be a thing that,
Necessitates destruction,
As many practices claim?
Should a relationship,
And function,
Of balance
And management,
Not be built?
Am I alone,
In observing,
The negative connotations,
Often associated,
With the term?
Is it more apt,
To say,
Perhaps,
That it is an indicator of paradox?
That there is,
Or can be,
A polyvalency,
Of separation,
And non-separation?
Must a higher self of an individual,
Correspond completely,
To the higher self of another?
Is there not,
Perhaps something,
Deeper going on?
Something that isn't,
So,
Black,
And,
White?
But perhaps,
It's just my ego talking.



One love

Wonderful stuff, thanks for sharing. I'd like to share something of mine while I'm here:

Tell me of the sea
into which all things must sink
I'll carry my own


Edit: I appreciate the reassurance. Felt something after posting that made me reconsider even sharing. Anxiety is a real monster.

Koduckushi, why did you delete your poem? You're free to share here if you like

One love

Paradox,
I see you.
Fundamental aspect,
At the Fundamental of reduction,
I see you.
In the expanse,
Of disparate ideals,
You show as Antimonies,
I see you.
Permeating the Practical,
And the Mystical,
I see you.
The Oneness,
The All,
The Duality,
The Plurality,
And not,
I see you.
A path of Enlightenment,
A path of Balance,
I see you.
And I do not.

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I'm glad you reposted it!

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Too much empathy,
Removes me much from myself.
How do I curb it?

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A persistent fight
That I know too well, but it's
Been pissing me off.



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This is a result of experiencing trepidation while contemplating a relatively light journey later today.

You show me,
You show me so much,
And I give my due gratitude.
You've shown me how,
My affliction rules my decision making.
How this affliction disconnects me,
From myself.
It influences a lack of trust in myself.
My self loathing,
It convinces me of things that aren't true,
That don't serve me,
That only serve to deter me.
You've shown me,
How in denying myself,
I battle to do what I want.
I struggle to honor myself.
I struggle to provide for myself.
Longing for you depths,
You're understanding in that,
I cannot bring myself to that point now,
And it's still hard to explain why.
Yet, you're patient with me,
Coaxing me to only go as far as I'm comfortable with.
You're understanding,
When I can't provide understanding for myself.
You've gifted me with easier access.
You reside in the inner recesses of my mind.
A gift I don't feel I deserve.
And while the more we work together,
The more mercurial and mysterious things become,
Our bond seems reciprocal,
And the benefits reach the ineffable.
Despite my anxiety,
I will come back to you.

Note: Sorry this is redundant with regard to what I've shared about my struggle to do DMT (or other things not even related to psychedlics) in the past. It's just something that I'm still fighting/allowing to be and feel that sometimes when I share I move passed it a little bit more.

One love

Sometimes I really,
Feel that DMT is all
That I really need.

To be accurate,
DMT and harmalas
What's really needed.



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oh my god, I didn't know that you had such a secret talent my friend, Void!

I only leave the Nexus for a while, and now; this is a total surprise for me

I really like this one,

hey, you, very Kuhnian vibes, or that's what I see... don't you?

Thank you very much. I'd like to write more but have been so busy lately. Hopefully soon.

One love

We oversimplify,
When it's oh so complicated.
I am not a victim.
While part of a marginalized subset,
A subset whose ancestors were kidnapped,
I am not a victim.
My circumstance doesnt make me a victim,
My expereicne of difference in
Treatment and opportunity (in comparison to the dominant subset, regardless of their ancestral history) dont make me a victim.
Sure, someone of a different subset than I,
May be afforded opportunities before me,
By virtue of my skin color,
That doesnt make me a victim.

Privilege,
A term meant to bring understanding,
Of context and a why on current,
Standards and situations of the world
And in this country.
A terms to help realize why
Things are the way they are
Has become weaponized.
No one should feel direct guilt
For being born into what they are,
But rather maybe proliferating
Past standards
Of inequality and inequity,
But again,
Not for what they are born into
Which they cannot control.
I covet nothing of another's priviledge,
A now loaded term
For I am not a victim.
Sure, things aren't fair,
Sure, some people have been,
And continue to be,
Screwed by others.
But that need not make you a victim.
That neednot be a reason,
To avoid someone,
Not like you.
I'm not a victim,
And you don't need to be either.
It's my battle.
It's my war.
It's my circumstance.
I'm not a victim.

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In the minutia of the social milieu,
We see many,
Unable to be with their pain,
Unable to be with the beauty of themselves,
Default their scruples,
To some externalized source,
A source they don't assess,
They don't analyze,
They never vet.
It just tickles them in the right spot.
The spot that contains their deeply held beliefs,
Preconceived notions,
Unchecked biases,
And unacknowledged assumptions.
Items of mind that are often mutable over time.
But few seem to notice this.
Staunchly defending their position,
Not trying to understand the other side,
And unable to understand themselves.
Things are viewed in black and white,
As though the apparatus of perception is still archaic.
The inability to acknowledge nuance,
Few have a color screen.
We can thank social media,
For showing us some of the deeper nature,
Of being human.
For while heartbreaking,
We can now see more of what some may call the truth.
We get a deeper and more detailed picture,
Of the hyposcrisy embedded in many.
It's not hard to see,
The divide between how one acts in the real world,
And how they behave online.
Everyone is righteous,
Without having put on the work.
Everyone is right,
In their own one dimensional echo chambers.
It's an us vesus them,
With those who are neutral being the black sheep.
As it hard for those that must pick a side to understand how some don't.
Unable to think for themselves,
The majority default to delusion,
Unable to dive deep into themselves,
Simply to feel better.
To avoid their pain.
Yet, this only begets more suffering.

One love