Salaam alaykum!
I have been absolutely entranced by this chemical- N,N-DMT for the past half-year of my life. It started while I was in the depth of a terrible spot in my life, perhaps as low as I have been. I was hopeless, burdened, and all but broken by life. I saw everything as a struggle, and a losing one at that. No future, no future. This was where I stood a half-year ago.
Psychoactives (and psychedelics especially) have always greatly intrigued me. I have been a connoisseur of these vaulted states for some time. I've dealt with serious addiction in my past, but I feel as though that is mostly behind me, barring the tendencies that I have to keep an eye on for now.
I first used Psilocybin six months ago - and that and the next three experiences with that chemical set me on the track to breaking free of my addictions and the circumstances I had put myself in. Around this time, I also discovered Terence Mckenna. I was amazed at the synchronicity of concept that we shared in the Psilocybin mindstate and after. There were concepts that seemed to be shot directly into my brain from hyperspace, the primary of which pertained to the place of Humanity in the grand scheme of things. It "told" me that all of existence has been geared toward producing human-like consciousness and that the earth was merely a cradle to be abandoned or left when the time comes. This was strange, to be sure, but I didn't immediately subscribe to it as truth; that is, until I heard McKenna expounding on Novelty Theory, which seemed absolutely analogous to what had been shot down to me. It was too much, and so I began absorbing all the McKenna I could. This inevitably led to interest in DMT, which led to a monomaniacal study and passion for it (even though at that point I had not used the substance). It took 2 months of waiting and putting out feelers, but eventually the underground did its thing, and I made my first flight into this hyperreal place we all visit.
I have since used DMT five times, each more revealing and powerful than the previous one. I am convinced of the place's absolute reality, I am convinced of the truth or trueness of the whole thing. I don't know what's going on with it, really, despite my intuitions; but I desperately want to.
Anyhoo, I hope that my time with this forum will be productive. And I'm sure it will be.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Fairly responsible Kratom user.
"whenever he drank ayahuasca, he had such beautiful visions that he used to put his hands over his eyes for fear somebody might steal them."
in between the grinding-brakes of a train crash while aluminum-foil robots make obnoxious sex noises on a static-filled walkie-talkie radio.