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Keeping tabs on one's ego Options
 
Nydex
#1 Posted : 3/27/2023 9:03:27 PM

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I like to think that my ego is not the supreme master of me. I feel like we all would love to think that. But every so often, I get that sudden surge of imposter syndrome that leads me to ask myself how much do I actually believe in that. How strongly do I control my egoistical urges? How much can I be the master of my own emotions? How effective are my own principles of anti-pride governance?

Which leads me to the question at hand - how does one effectively gauge the level of control their ego has over themselves? I've tried different things, such as purposefully holding a position that opposes my personal beliefs in a social circumstance and observing how I react when people support that position. Or in some other cases, I've clearly stated my position that I viewed as controversial in a similar circumstance just to see how the pushback I get makes me feel.

But none of these ever feel substantial and complete, because there's a certain sense of awareness. I know why I'm taking that position, or why I'm expressing that position in a certain way within a certain social circle.

But is a social circumstance the best place to keep tabs on one's ego? I feel like it's incredibly important to have a method, a system of checking up on your ego, because it seems to me that it is exactly the ego, that self-centered view on all things of life, that causes so much distress and turmoil in a person's life.

So, what's your preferred way of checking?

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Tomtegubbe
#2 Posted : 3/27/2023 9:29:30 PM

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Being in a relationship helps with this one...
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ShadedSelf
#3 Posted : 3/27/2023 10:41:09 PM

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Observe it. Observe yourself observing it. Observe the absurdity of it all.

The mind wants to take control, take power from the witness to itself, the observer can take its power back by... well, observing.

The thought of trying to control the ego its just that, a thought.
The more you engage with it, the more real it becomes.
"Oh my god, how much control does my ego have over me?", says the ego.
"Yes!, lets worry about that!", says the mind.

There is no such thing as the ego in the present moment.

Its probably more active in social situations, yes.
If you want to go that route id say try to fully see other poeples perspectives.

My way of checking is paying attention to how much Im interacting with my mind.

 
Voidmatrix
#4 Posted : 3/27/2023 11:45:01 PM

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"Shadow Work" can help.

I've learned the hard way that it just makes things worse and us more egotistical to ruminate on it too much. Laughing

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What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


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Pandora
#5 Posted : 3/28/2023 5:02:13 PM

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My ideas,

As far as I can tell the ego exists within social contexts so I will address the issues like that.

Be honest always.

Embrace humility.

Take time out of social contexts to think things over.

Work hard and make money. Meet your basic needs and then go out of your way to give all the rest of the money away to worthy causes.

Most important: CULTIVATE EMPATHY

Working to keep my ego in check is pretty much the same as working to keep my narcissism and greed in check. The key is remembering it's not always all about me and to try to put myself into other people's shoes by using a well developed imagination.

Be honest with others but try to be easy on yourself rather than super self critical. When you cultivate empathy it is also for yourself. Try to see yourself from an outsider perspective. How are you coming across? Is your true intention coming through or is it being muddled somehow?

Consumes psychedelics. I'm still working on an over inflated and bloated ego left over from a 7 year break.

And speaking for myself understand that this is neither a sprint nor a marathon. There is no ending other than the end of the I. This work is life long and ongoing.

"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
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endlessness
#6 Posted : 3/28/2023 5:40:54 PM

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The ego is a tricky one... Let's say you want to answer someone in an argument to "win" it... but then you control yourself and move on, effectively winning a small battle against your ego.. but then your ego will go like "aha, see how great I am, I won against the ego!" Big grin

The analogy I usually think about is that the ego is like your finger nails.. they have their purpose, can be useful, but you gotta trim them down regularly otherwise it grows uncontrolled and can hurt yourself and others, plus it becomes fragile.

How to trim it though? I think there were some good suggestions already.. observation, self criticism, being in a relationship, having honest friends, psychedelics, cultivating empathy, etc etc.

For me, also martial arts that have true sparring constantly humble me because there is no way to pretend you are at a different level, you will get your ass handed to you daily and its an undeniable visceral experience.

Good luck with your path , and let us know if you find good strategies or tools to deal with the ego Smile
 
 
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