I'm working with an nmt/dmt oil from acrb. I feel that weighing such a substance for accuracy is a fools errand because there is no such thing as accuracy when you lose material with every handling through residue loss. It also doesn't account for vaporization factors. So I took my machines coil and ran it down my evaporation dish laden with said oil. The coil I use is copper mesh rolled into a log and folded in half. I unfold it, apply the spice, and proceed to refold and insert it back into the machine. This way the spice is central to the copper pad offering the best even heat distribution and drip resistance possible.

I proceeded to put on a new and unfamiliar house music beat. This was a terrible idea. This broke set for me pretty bad on this experience.
I sat there listening to this tune, setting my intentions and goals, and getting prepared mentally. As children most people have heard the expression "if your friends jump off a bridge would you" and my answer to that question is vehemently YES. I'm terrified of heights, but it'd mot thr height per se, rather the fall. As an adult a few friends and I had gone to a bridge in the capital, an area known for pristine and I mean world class renowned waters. Clarity of 10+ meters. deep crystal blue calm water. They had jumped this bridge several times in the past and it was well known for such activity. So yes. I jumped. I put my faith and my life figuratively into the hands of my friends and I learned that so long as I acted before my ego could beg and negotiate surrender then I would achieve my goal. After all technically the first step is the last and you're technically getting closer to your goal which in this instance was reaching the water and being closer to mother earth. (Please, do NOT go jumping off a bridge especially without supervision in most instances this is not safe by any means. This bridge is very very well known for it and I had hear about it from several people on this city for about a year before taking the jump.i do not condone bridge jumping without proper safety measures. So again, to re-re-reclarify I AM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD JUMP OFF A BRIDGE. My point t in this story is that this is my approach with dmt. I'm not afraid of it exactly. It's more of a timid respect, the respect I feel it is due for being such a powerful substance. You simply do not disrespect the medicine because it will put you in your place if you do. But I also know I must approach it with true intention. As I read another member mention this well known quote "half measures availed us nothing" . So I was ready to take my metaphorical jump tonight. I proceeded to rip the machine with conviction. We are going somewhere tonight, and I meant it. Seconds later the calm music suddenly became chaotic and unnerving, the world around me began to melt but not like a heavy lsd breathing melt. Instead the stains on the cement at my feet were floating above the floor, the shelves began to "dance" my vessels on said shelves began to breathe. I could feel myself being jettisoned away faster and faster until.... misfire. I could have chased it and I most definitely could have reached the doors of true hyperspace there ever so coveted "blast off" but the music playing in my headphones was uncomfortable and it alone made me uncomfortable. I could have absolutely blasted off but I could tell that going beyond this point would be a mistake at this very moment b3ing uncomfortable with this music. Somehow I managed to navigate my YouTube to a very familiar and peaceful artist I truly enjoy. This artist of choice accompanied my parachute back down to earth.

I didn't intend to outright launch to hyperspace. Mistakes were made and lessons were learned. Had it not been for following traditional set/ setting and egress planning tonight could have been quite jarring but instead I was allowed to have a mixed bag rather than a bag of poo and I'm totally cool with that after all I'm nothing but a selfninvited guest in hyperspace. I have no right to this experience and it absolutely must be treated with respect. That being said I seriously about blasted the hell off on "accident" my intention was to climb the stairs not take willy wonkas elevator to one of Saturn's moons


So, a friendly reminder. Please please pleeeeaase respect your set, setting, ask for an experienced sitter preferably someone who knows first aid incase things go horribly wrong, and always have an egress plan. Having decided to use an unfamiliar tune was like going on a blind date so I knew there was a chance things would go fuckywucky on me. My egress to this solution: keep my device in my lap prepared to change it. By the time I had decided it was a good time to change it I was at the cusp of losing that fine motor skill to do such tasks. I stared and stared at my phone trying to make sense of my task at hand. I need to change it but to what?

All in all it was a good night and this will be added to my internal journal of experiences. Thanks for the read and again please hede harm reductionist guidance. There's no sense in risking a severely uncomfortable experience because you were I'll prepared. There simply is little to no excuse on that front. You are absolutely worth every effort you can make to ensure your own safety. This comes from the individual that spent some 8 hours on the floor crying about hoe they were "dying" after taking s rather large dose of psilocybin. Sure it broke my existential dread fueled depression but the experience itself was harrowing and could have been approached better.

Stay safe and have fun out there.
Remember if you're struggling there's always someone to talk to, please reach out.

NeitherHere,

Thank you for sharing.

I am glad things worked out for you. It sounds like it had potential to go another way.

Have you heard of changa? It would give you a better chance at measuring your approximate dose even with a goo. It involves dissolving freebase DMT in solvent, adding some nicely ground herbs of choice and evaporating.

I know goo is not fluff but changa could allow an estimate. For example if you use one gram of DMT and one gram of herbs in changa then weigh out 50 mgs of dried changa then your dose is approximately 25 mgs DMT.

Ever tried launching without music? It seems like the music was a hassle/hindrance.

Also, did you try closing your eyes and try to surrender or were you hoping to skip over that as explained in the bridge analogy? I seem to recall letting go and surrendering to be very helpful.

Regardless, I am glad it worked out okay.

-Pandora

P.S. I find myself intrigued by your reference to a difficult mushroom experience at the end of your report.

My goal is to eventually gravitate towards changa and ayahuasca but unfortunately I don't have the resources available to work with those just yet and I'm trying to familiarize myself before I go mixing things up more.

To quench your curiosity Pandora;

The mentioned psilocybin trip was within my first year or so of using fungi. At that point I was still buying from other people instead of growing my own because I didn't know how dead simple it was. For me psychedelics are less recreational and more spiritual tools to aid and augment exterior therapeutic stimuli. In the instance mentioned above I had been struggling severely and even my support network was at a loss of how to handle it (this included multiple professionals) I was stuck trudging through existential dread and horrid depression and it just felt like I was dying on the inside. I had consumed 3.5-4g psilocybin from time to time with decent effects as far as relearning that the world around me wasn't as dangerous as I had been taught through incidents growing up. This time how ever;I knew I needed to be out of my comfort zone to find that needle in the haystack that was my peace of mind.a big life event had happened that I wasn't prepared to address and there was absolutely no going back from that point. I needed to show myself everything was okay. I needed to figuratively jump off the bridge and show myself "life's not so bad" I consumed some 5.5g of cubensis from an acquaintance and proceeded to lay on my bedroom floor until it hit me what I did not know was that citrus and acids can potentiate psilocybin conversion to psilocin. I had been drinking orange juice through the morning leading up to the moment I had eaten my fungi. So I went into this experience just dreading life in itself. I knew I didn't WANT to die but I felt absolutely miserable and dysfunctional. After that extended duration of fighting to keep my ego in tack against the grips of psilocybin I came out of it realizing just how much the world meant to me. How beautiful everything was. It was like... I personified my depression and anxieties and then proceeded to erase it with a big pink eraser. My sitter during that experience was my current partner and they did an amazing job of keeping my physically safe while I wrestled with my demons. It would be some 3+ years before I would touch psilocybin again. A wise elder once told me after this experience "get the message, hang up the phone". When I returned to psilocybin I decided my health was worth the time and investment to learn to produce my own fungi for my own safety and peace of mind. Part of what set me off on that experience was that my stomach was doing bsckflips along with my mind only giving my false confirmation that somwthing terrible was going on within my body that i should be concerned about. On the contrary it was one of the single most beneficial experiences in my life. Proving to myself that life was so much bigger than the for er of the painting I couldnt look away from. Sorry for the long form posts. Sometimes I get so caught up in expressing myself that I don't realize I've written a novel to sample statements. I've always felt that there's someone out there who feels or experiences similar things but just doesn't know how to talk about it themselves. So maybe by bearing my soul openly I might show them what they may not quite comprehend how to express. "You're not alone" Deep down I think this is Vitaly important for the welfare of our communities. An abused child does not know how to express that they are abused unless someone teaches them the word and it's context. Until then said figurative child suffers without explanation. I was abused and I was abused severely,at dome points in my childhood I genuinely had to fight for my life against adults actively attempting to end it entheogens to me are a means by which I can look at my behavior and paradigm from an external point of view detached from my own tomfoolery. They allow me to be that vulnerable child at heart and relearn things I was taught wrong and they allow me to come to terms with the fact that one day I will outright die. Today I'm okay with that and it wouldn't have been without psilocybin and dmt. The common thread I hear people push with psychedelics use is that you should only use them when you're well. I disagree, I tend to use them when I have self work to do that I'm not making progress on. Today I deep cleaned my entire home. I passively clean but I finally moved everything and CLEANED for the first time in a long time because my depression was becoming crippling again.. that near blast off last night took my cluttered plate and threw it at the wall HARD. And when I woke up I truly felt changed. Unhindered. Provoked to make positive change in my day to day life. Dmt is wild and even if I don't reach hyperspace its done insanely amazing things for me way faster and safer than the traditional route Dr's try and put me on i.e. semitoxic medications with horrible effects that take forever to help and usually end up hurting me in the end and then making me maintain appointments I can't ever make because by the time i can be seen im usually in active high functioning crisis. 40 or so minutes with dmt and it's like a light switch has been flipped. I'm empathic, nurturing, calm, less prone to getting upset and overwhelmed. Suddenly life is back in appropriate perspective. It's bewildering for sure and I find it absolutely absurd such powerful medicines would be made illegal in modern society but.. here we are using aliases to talk amongst friends for our own safety.

Hope this novel quenches your curiosity

That's a lot to take in.

I like what you're writing but the wall of text was literally giving me a headache. Just a few paragraph breaks would have made a big difference.

There is an almost manic style to your writing. It's really hard to be specific in my response other than to say I am really glad that you are able to find healing in these most amazing of medicines.

Trauma is a difficult beast to wrangle. I truly believe that these medicines, in particular mushrooms and MDMA do offer us pathways to being able to face our demons in either symbolic and safe ways that allow us growth.

Thank you so much for sharing. I think many here would agree it is the difficult experiences that do yield the most growth whether we like it or not. Sometimes we get what we need rather than what we thought we were looking for.