Hello, fellow travellers. I've been reading this page for years, probably a decade, but never made an account until now. I'll introduce myself a bit, and my story with psychedelics and DMT in particular.
I've been interested in psychedelics since I was 18 or so. I am always reading about it and learning a lot about how this stuff works, but honestly, I never used them much. Maybe some shrooms here and there, a tab of acid every now and then. 2-4 trips a year. I read about DMT in that time, but I always thought that was something I would do later in life.
What really got me interested was (and is) music. Music sounded different on psychedelics: Wider, deeper, colourful. I have a pretty big collection of psychedelic music of (almost) all genres, and I like to produce my own too.
After some years of pretty light use of substances, COVID hit and I got stuck at home and decided to try to order some 1P-LSD and see how that was. That started my own "psychedelic renaissance": I started reading about all those substituted tryptamines, phenethylamines and RC's in general, and tried some more compounds. I tripped very regularly for a year or so, until my interest faded slowly.
DMT has always fascinated me, but I never got the opportunity to try. Well, I did get offered DMT/changa sometimes at psytrance festivals, but I never thought that was the right place to try such a powerful substance for the first time.
Last year I "felt the call" and decided it was the right moment to try it. I've been reading this forum for a decade, so I pretty much knew what I needed to know to extract my own. I got a small yield of yellow crystals that didn't look particularly promising but definitely smelled like DMT. And I was eager to try it. I got an e-mesh rig, but couldn't work the courage to load 5mg for about a couple of weeks. The experience was very light, but I enjoyed it a lot. I felt 100% calmed. That very night, I tried 8mg, and it was a similar experience, just a notch deeper. Next week, I tried 12mg. Then 15mg. Then 20mg.
It was always a light experience. I stored it for another few months, and stopped thinking about it. Then I went back at it, and tried a couple times, but something was off: I loaded 20mg and it wasn't enough to feel it. I tried 25mg and it was again very very light.
Maybe my DMT wasn't very good in the first place? Maybe it had deteriorated? I got cocky, and loaded a bigger amount, eyeballing. It was, again, very light. Then, I messed with the vaporizer mod settings, loaded again a good dose, and as soon as I inhaled, I knew that it was more powerful than ever. I knew that eyeballing had been a mistake.
As it turns out, the settings were not correct and I wasn't properly vaporizing the DMT until that point. I had been so careful, and, oh, the irony, I was really blasting off for the first time from an unknown dose. I felt like being shot out of a cannon.
And it was terrifying, and beautiful at the same time. I kept my eyes open during the whole time, but to be honest I don't think that mattered much at all. I tried to close them, but I was seeing the same as with my eyes open. The ceiling turned into a cosmic sky, and there was this morphing being that kept mocking me without words, as if saying "You wanted to see it, right? Now you saw it!"
What I saw, I think wasn't even a "proper" breakthrough (if there's such a thing), but the waiting room. A whole array of different infinitely decorated rooms, and this being kept pushing me around from one to the next, not giving me enough time to really contemplate them. It was pretty overwhelming, and I felt incredibly relieved to be back in my own room. I hugged the pillow for a long moment, while repeating all sorts of "what the fuck" in my head.
I was thankful for being back, but also, of course, incredibly intrigued by the experience. As soon as I got back, I thought "I'm never doing this again in my life". About 10 minutes later, I knew I had to do it again. Not then, but when I had time to thought about what I saw.
And so I did, I waited, but came back to it. I did it again, and again. I hadn't had the courage to go for a high dose yet, but I've been exploring the sub-breakthrough space quite a lot. I got some harmalas later and made "vapechanga" and it worked quite well, I liked the experience more than DMT alone.
So here I am: Wanting to smoke DMT every night, but also stopping myself from doing so. I feel like It has been healthy for me, but also don't want to overstay my welcome.
Well, that was long enough. Again, hello to all, and thank you for your insights over the years.