I havent posted in quite some time so I apologize if this isn't the right place for this but...
For a little context, A few months back I had my RV broken into and all of my personal items stolen from me, I dont know how PTSD works but the whole situation kind of took away any feeling of security that I had, and I never had closure on the situation.
And A few week ago I had a DMT session that shook me to my core. In a nutshell I experienced what I think might've been my death (and not of the EGO).
Without going into details, suffice it to say that it was not a desirable way to go. Out of hyperspace tho, I've been growing more and more paranoid, to the point where I'm truly scared to be alone.
I catch myself doing things like looking out the window and thinking that I recognize people as if they're following me, thinking conspiratorially generally.
And when I talk to the few friends I have, hearing myself say the words describing how I've been thinking...i sound like a freakin nutjob. And I guess what I'm asking is if this has happened to anybody else, and if so...how did you remedy the situation? I have no desire to do DMT again anytime soon, and a psychiatrist is a possibility but I'm on MEDI-CAL so im not sure about the quality of care I will get.
I can tell that any patience my friends have is wearing thin, and my next step is the psyche ward. Its incredibly stressful living like this, and I just want to be able to sit by myself in silence without thinking the worst.
"..I find myself stirred awake by the ambient noises of the world outside and a realization that my train of thought may not be running on timeβ¦but I've nowhere to be...except here."