Feel free to have a giggle at this. Void is likely just being neurotic... perhaps... maybe...

Anyway, I feel like my recall and memory capacity are slipping and it's very annoying...

Tired of struggling to find the right word to use in a given context.

Or having to read or listen to something twice.

It didn't use to be this way.

I have been feeling constantly overwhelmed for a while now. Maybe it's that. I mean, it's been a struggle to feel like I'm thinking clearly. Feel like my cognition is slowing... It's also appearing to be difficult recalling things I feel I should be familiar with.

Several months ago I recall sharing something about this, particular with respect to diphenhydramine (ab)use, which I stopped using (as well as ending nightly melatonin use). I'm also beginning to taper away from valerian, which may also be impacting this.

Maybe there's just too much going on in my mind at once. I mean, actual focus has always been elusive for me.

Perhaps it's just effects of depression.

Maybe I'm just "out of practice" in some ways and just need to improve cognitive habits (such as playing memory games which I'd like to make a daily habit of playing).

Oooo, what if my thinking that this is an issue is making it an issue...

I have been taking some supplements, such as choline and acetyl l-carnitine, to help with this, but things still feel off.

Any thoughts, advice, ideas, etc. are welcome. And as always with this kind of stuff, thank you for humoring me.

One love

Sorry to hear you're going through that. It sounds like you first need to get to the root of why you're feeling overwhelmed. I went through something similar while being fed up living in the city and then going through a stressful move. I think one can get back on track rather quickly though with combined approaches aimed at improving general wellbeing

Exercising your memory/linguistic capacity via a dream + trip journal is a very useful tool for building memory. I've only recently delved into it again, but back in the day I had a 500 page dream journal and because of that process of turning my head inside out onto paper (or in my case a computer heh) I could sit if I wanted and see internal revolving montages of endless dreams I've had in the past all morphing into eachother like an endless movie. It is like a hard core workout for your memory in some ways.

Diet is also of utmost importance. These days we tend to build the most mind boggling neural tissue in the known universe out of junk and it's no wonder we have countless problems with functionality. Slowly and carefully shifting towards a more plant based diet with plenty of raw greens veggies fruits etc seems to make a massive difference for most people over time if done right - we are primates after all. Make sure you're getting ample omega 3 (and a good omega 3/6 ratio) b12, vitamin D3, Magnesium, zinc, iodine etc either way. Even just cutting out more junk and drinking more water (and less phone/tv) can help a lot of people with this sort of thing. A fulfilling creative outlet too

I haven't done it as much in recent times but frequent changa (especially on low dose mushrooms or lsd, and microdosing generally) combined with meditation/yoga does wonders for my memory ability. During fairly mild experiences like this my wife and I often are astounded at the flow of conversation, our increased memory access, and our ability to pick up a thread again after tangential topics are explored mid-thought

It sounds like your life may be a bit stressfull at the moment, feeling overwhelmed all the time.

Stress has this effect on people.

I once had a very stressfull job and i used to feel like that all the time. My memory, concentration, general mood...everything was just reduced two almost nothing. It realy felt like being in an endless tunnel.

If you're under too much stress, a part of your mind just switches off. It's just survival mode.

I don't know what you could do to release stress. Don't try to fix it chemically, because sedatives and relaxants tend to ruin lives and are often much like a wrecking ball to memory and recall.

But that would be the first thing i would be looking at. Any change in your life that would make it less stressfull.

This is a boring one, but I recommend cutting your information intake as much as possible, I'm afraid this forum is included. We are constantly bombarded with information and our attention is constantly interrupted. It's very tasking for our working memory. Smart phones are the new cigarettes.

Even just keeping the phone at hand or in the pocket elevates our stress levels and hinders our concentration. There's the constant "should I check" impulse, even when we don't check.

It definitely won't hurt, even if it's not the root of your problems.

And I'm sorry to hear that, hope you to get better!

I find it slightly funny that you didn't mention you use cannabis daily.

Not necessarily the reason, but perhaps a contributing factor or candidate.

Maybe he forgot

Hehe yeah I've seen many daily smokers eventually end up getting stressed out/anxiety from weed. Many never go back but some successfully do after a break and more careful usage

Firstly, thank you all for chiming in so thoughtfully.



You guys are killing me! I needed that.

But no, I didn't forget. I'm just confident where I stand with how cannabis affects me. What's interesting is there are plenty of times that cannabis seems to eliminate this issue for brief periods. I'll speak/write more fluently and recall will be quick. It's almost as if it calms my brain down to have a productive flow. It's contexts like these that make me lean towards thinking that stress is the issue more so than almost anything else.



Thank you for your empathy in this matter. While I'm not glad that others may deal with this, I am glad that I'm not alone, more as that makes me feel understood.

I also live in a city. One in which the population density is steadily rising.

The root of my state of being overwhelmed is a loaded topic. Simply, life's hard. A little less simply, I've dealt with varying degrees of feeling overwhelmed for a pretty long time. I'm hypersensitive, or a "highly sensitive person," which both point to sensory processing sensitivity (not the disorder), which I am on the far end of the spectrum of. In short, my nervous system has a lower excitation threshold which leads to higher incidence of anxiety, depression, deeper processing, higher emotionality, and ease of becoming overwhelmed.

That said, the external factors that seem to be adding to this are numerous. My job annoys the hell out of me (when it really shouldn't; I harvest cannabis for crying out loud, but people know they can rely on me so that puts extra pressure especially when the company seems to be in shambles and some individuals want to be difficult on a regular basis).

I'd risk the pay cut if there wasn't pressure on me financially as well. I help my mom pay the majority of her mortgage as well as assist my lady friend with her rent when she needs help.

I stay with my mom and sister to help them out. My sister is disabled from a brain tumor that she had as a child and she needs a lot of help. And sometimes my mom doesn't know what to do. As a result of my sister's situation and upbringing, she doesn't have any friends really, and deals with a fair amount of depression herself. I do the best I can for her.

And my mom is only getting older... so I do the best I can for her as well.

I seem to also be the one tasked with keeping the house neat, clean, and orderly, which it's not because it's overwhelming due to both my mom and sister having too many physical items as well as not really being the most neat and tidy people as is. There's a lot of clutter and things to get rid of.

Then there's me and all my shit, and all the shit that I want to do... Some of which is aimed at other avenues that will allow me to quit my job (such as guidework). But one thing I've dealt with all my life, and which accelerated shortly after graduating college, is that my brain is on fire, with information being the oxygen that fuels it. So, my interests are broad and eclectic. Now really, we can put this into the category of my high sensitivity; sensory input of all kinds is intense and perpetuating.

I have been getting to the gym more (it's kind of my sanctuary, but can be hard to make it during the week as a result of my job and working 10 hour shifts; sometimes I'm just too drained to make it). I'm aware that it helps a great deal, especially in this moment, since writing this response isn't taking me forever.



I think it's really cool you have such a thick compendium. How long did that take you.

I really should try out a dream journal. It's something that from time to time I think of doing, but at some point it just slips my mind. I think this is a really good idea though since dreams are so difficult to remember. It'll be another game to add to my memory repertoire.



This would be oh so much easier if eating wasn't a chore to me (result of persistent depression). But since I'm making the gym more of a priority, my diet tends to follow suit. Planning on bulk cooking more to make sure I'm getting what I need. I already try to eat pretty clean for the most part. When I eat "junk" it tends to be mainly for the caloric density. It works for my body type (<5% body fat), but isn't an all the time kind of thing.

I do take many of the supplements that you recommended, but may try out a few that I don't that you've mentioned.



So what I am really hearing here is... "SMOALK MOAR!" I've been relaxing in shallower waters lately while regaining my psychedelic confidence, so I like this and it sounds like fun. It's also interesting because in the OP I was going to mention how I have the most clarity and less of this issue both while on my microdose and after changa sessions. Seems like an omen of sorts...



You and I seem to have a lot in common, and I'm inclined to align with what you've said, especially since it seems that "you've been there" and come out the other side in order to make these observations as you have.

And yeah, I agree with avoiding fixing it chemically (aside from supplements that are also endogenous to my system, like precursors to neurotransmitters, as well as beneficial supplements). I unfortunately got to this point as a result of being desperate to get some sleep. Sleep problems plague me and have since I was a kind, hence said desperation).

And in short, I need a new job



I love you! Not boring at all!

I'm very much with you. Part of me hates my phone. And I do try to stay off of it often and when I don't need to be on it (it's always on silent, I don't use social media, and most of my apps are educational). But I'm sure I could stay off of it even more. Damn thing is the sharpest double-edged object!

And as I've mentioned, brain's on fire and information is the oxygen. I've been trying to slow down in general, and take in less information, but I'm not really sure how well I'm doing with that. All the same, you're encouraging me to keep it up.

I've also been watching far less of the tube and listening to a great deal more classical music, which I've always loved, but tends to be something that I forget about. Presently listening to some Stravinsky.

Thank you all so much again. This hasn't gotten to any dire precipice or anything, it's just annoying the hell out of me.

One love

I've seen this too, while it hasn't been my experience. In recent years I have cut back a lot, but cannabis tends to be far more helpful than harmful for me and I work to be very mindful with it.

One love

One other thing that I think is appropriate to share (and sorry to add onto the stack, especially since I've already shared and aired enough of my dirty laundry here...) is my curiosity in the impact my empathy and consideration plays in my stress levels. I tend to consider the world in a lot of ways and it's almost automatic. If I'm struggling in some way (or sometimes even when I'm not) I'll consider the state of the world and all the terrible happenings that occur. It never helps me feel better about my situation, on the contrary, it tends to make me feel worse. In many ways this is constant, always running in the background. In my immediate vicinity, it's those around me that come first in my mind, especially when someone is struggling. The closer they are to me the more I feel for them. I'm not a people pleaser because I critically think too much and it tends to always come out, though I always try to deliver it in the most compassionate of ways. But I do seem to take the back burner to other individuals' felt states.

Aside from being enigmatic and introverted, one of the reasons I keep to myself (and why posts like these cause some anxiety) is so that people "don't have to deal with me..." I feel for others, and since I feel I'm rarely doing well, I don't want to burden them by having to cope with my not doing well, or with my detailed critical thinking, etc.

It's hard to think of myself in a way that is therapeutic. I feel so much outside me. To the point where I become overwhelmed and just experience this amalgam of empathy and apathy, and no action is taken.

I suppose this is what a doctor meant when he told me "you're beyond yourself..." Something that is starting to make more and more sense...

Sorry, I don't think I elucidated this very well, but hopefully enough of the general idea came across... I am likely/potentially too empathetic and considerate which adds to my degree of stress and feeling overwhelmed.

Gym time.

One love

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, no wonder you are overwhelmed.

Is there no way you can draw some boundaries in your workplace at least?

Makes sense that you wouldnt want to burden others with your struggles.
Id just be mindful on when that might cross the line into depreving others of being able to make their own choice of taking care of you.

And if you are anything like me and find it really hard to act on this things, you can always go through the process of embracing and owning it: "Hey, Im sacrifiying my mental health, myself really, for the sake of others and I dont really know how to manage all of this any better. So be it."
Even if you do end up acting on it later on.
Sometimes we get so fixated on trying to live life perfectly, efficiently, that we forget to just live it as it is.

Would you consider yourself to be a bit of a "fixer"? You know, when life becomes a list of problems to be fixed.
I feel like Ive seen this in terms of how you view yourself, not sure if this might extend outwards too in that case.

Im curious, youve mentioned this thing about being enigmatic a few times now, what do you mean by that?
You, or your mind if you want to keep this non personal, seem to me to be quite "normal", transparent if anything.

Why do you consider the state of the world and all the terrible happenings that occur?

Good to hear from you SS.



So, I mean this in an honest manner, not to toot my own horn. Unfortunately, I'm relied on by the back of house for my company. There are three departments that tend to call on me for extra help. I'm considered the "x factor." Within the department that I am in, individuals seem to have a hard time keeping all of their ducks in a row.

Last time I was on the harvest team, I became a supervisor. Not because I wanted to. I tend to stay aware, so when something needs to be done and I notice it, I take care of it. This was noticed, and some of the things that I'd take care of were related to management. So, when they really needed a new supervisor, I wasn't "offered" the position, but was more asked, "will you please just take this position."

They know that I don't want to manage again, but even without the title, they rely on me to do so. If there's no other person with a management title around, then I run the room and the day. It's gotten to a point where one of my bosses had to ask me to more actively back-up the other supervisors. Another boss came back from vacation and told me, "thanks for holding it all down while I was gone," and gave me a friendly punch in the arm...

I continue to try to draw boundaries, but I also want to get the job done in a timely manner. It's a lot of moving parts. It doesn't help that people at my company can be rather petty and salty as well.



Well, damn. That's some food for thought.



Yeah, action paralysis I am very familiar with. And it's a work in progress to let it all be in the manner you've described. Unfortunately, sometimes this just makes me plain old apathetic about some of my efforts and about some things.



Inadvertently, yes. I tend to be "responsible" and like to be a conduit of "balance," which extends to trying to fix things. It just seems that with some stuff if I don't handle it then it won't get taken care of.



First thank you.

Second, I'm going to try to be brief on this one as I find it a little hard to talk about and describe (seems fitting). Anyway, one of the first times I heard this with respect to how I am viewed was with a therapist that I had seen for years. It's something that is mentioned from time to time in some permutation or other. It came up when discussing interpersonal [lack of] connections and interactions and why I seem to be and/or feel misunderstood relatively often. That's a very simple way of stating it. It lends itself to why I am rarely fulfilled by many social interactions... it's also connected my mercurial nature. An example or two would when people tell me I'm getting "too deep" or when they admit "you've lost me," or "I don't know what you're talking about."

My mentioning of it is for understanding, but also so that I can accept it about myself...

It damn sure isn't a way for me to make myself seem "special;" I'm just me.



I think it's because, for a long time, I've wanted to be "aware" so try to be so about as much as possible, and that entails others the world over. I also have a tremendous amount of empathy, and feel like I can't help it too much.

This has been the case since high school, when I spent a couple summers in poor areas of foreign countries doing volunteer work. Being aware of the struggles that people go through outside of my country really opened my eyes, and made me a more compassionate person, and I'm saddened by suffering that could be ameliorated.

One thing that really breaks my heart in my state is the increase of homeless people. Very often when I see one or some, I have to stifle tears.

Well, you got me talking about myself in uncomfortable ways again, ShadedSelf. I'm grateful though because you ask questions that are hard, but need to be asked, and I'm all about the hard questions.

That said, my anxiety and I are going to go meditate now

One love