I've been sick most of this week going through some covid symptoms (incredibly sore throat, some fever at first). Today I felt having enough strength to go for a mild aya journey with the intention of being still and burning candles. I, however, miscalculated my strength and didn't take into account the extra weakness that aya gives. I realized that I should have just given myself rest today, but as I was unable to do that

I ended up being very tired and seemed to only attract negative thoughts and imagery. For example I imagined my whole vision and concepts rotting away. I seriously questioned the meaningfulness of dwelling in this kind of imagery. However, I was too tired to do anything else but to just lie still. I was absolutely tired of all my thoughts, but couldn't seem to find any peaceful spot to rest upon in my mind.

What then happened, is that, I began to experience the onset of vaporized DMT. All the crazy hyperdimensional stuff you know and got to meet some extraterrestrials who gave some information about my extraterrestrial origin! My first reaction was like "Now this is way cooler than the stuff I was going through previously", but immediately after I thought "Does it feel like this when your mind starts to shatter?"

I began remembering some psychotic patients I have met when they were going through the acute phase and I wonder if I got a glimpse on how that might happen. When your reality becomes too stressful and you can find no place to hide, you create an illusion that gives you some sense of meaning.

Today I began to wonder if this is a mechanism strong psychedelics can also trigger.

I know it's a thin line here. I have had my share of the true healing and sense of meaning that psychedelics can give, but there is also the world of fake meaning that appeals to our immature desire to feel special and seek distraction from reality.

This adds to a bigger question: Does our psychedelics use contribute to the illusions that enchain us or does it help us in living a truer life? Having spent the week lying on the couch watching increasingly mindless content on YouTube I had a sudden flash today about how utterly illusionary life can become with this technology being your primary consolation. I see how psychedelics can become yet another form of distraction.

It's probably something every psychonaut has to stop and wonder from time to time, how far into the illusions I have given myself into and am I still able to see the illusions as narratives which some have more value than others and none is exhaustive.

I commented earlier today on the fire kasina practice. The critical remarks I have on that relate to this same thing. It's easy to get caught up on these extraordinary inner phenomena, regardless of the method used to achieve them.

Sorry for the clickbait subject 😄

I've received similar insights, though when I did I assumed that this could be said about most individuals [having extraterrestrial origin], meaning we may all be from someplace "else." It's an idea I entertain, not commit to, for regardless of its veracity, it does little for us now aside from being a potential insight for understanding (such as why we have certain differences).



It likely comes down to use, which is why, while psychedelics for many people equates to "enlightened" states, many people fall into the delusions they do with regard to conclusions drawn as results of psychedelic experiences. It's where critical thought comes in handy.

"Nothing is as it seems... nor is it otherwise."

I hope you feel better soon.

One love

I think I can relate to what you feel about it, I am giving it a lot of thought since my breakup with all the keys. I think the line is thin and there are million degrees of going cookoo. We are all on a scale, but I kinda lean towards staying around where I am right now. Call that ego if you want, but I felt that pressure can snap everyhing and I value what I have too much to let it go

I actually entertain this idea too in the form of the God (Shiva) and Goddess (Shakti) energies manifesting in human beings and by living up to this energy you can become more what you are. Of course, this is just one way to look at things, but I find it empowering.

There was perhaps a pinch of truth in the message by the extraterrestrials, but in this context it felt like I'm an easy prey for such suggestions and they can be used for me to get more engaged with them. Like how religious organizations recruit people by flattering you and making you feel appreciated.

Sometimes when I have been in much better strength I have encountered very different entitites, that seemed to be attracted by my strength, not by my weakness, so there was a mutual respect established. Also, I've experienced a consolating spirit many times, who has helped me get through difficult emotions, not bypass them. This time it felt more like having accidently tuned into some alien spam radio.

And, thank you 🙂 Feeling better already!

I'd say which ever way you choose to lean, take it with a grain of salt. I tend to wonder if we're really supposed to "know" anything in these experiences.

I try to remain suspended (as in suspension of judgment/discernmen)

One love

I think there is some value to this line of thinking.

We do wear glasses to protect our eyes when the sun is too strong.
I feel like the potential for experiences to be a little bit too much is definitely there, so we find ways to cope.


This makes a lot of sense to me.

There might be benefits to this kind of protectiveness, this might perhaps also be a choice sometimes.

I dont know how useful psychedelics are in terms of hiding from oneself, I always thought that they basically did the opposite and forced your eyes wide open, though it might be down to how you use the tools, or perhaps the potential for the mind to protect itself is still there.

Perhaps it's a result of my inner masochist, but I cannot use psychedelics in an escapist manner, though I've never really tried. It's something that tends to be evident from the nature of past experiences. Heads up and head on.

One love

I encountered this interview of comedian Shane Mauss, author of Psychonautics documentary from 2018.

In this interview he describes his experience of how excessive tripping turned into a psychosis and how it started from important messages he thought to have received from the other side.

This might be worth a watch if you are interested in how things like this can happen.

https://youtu.be/gQQH4kIC70E

As far as I believe, everything is an illusion anyway. Madness is one person's illusion. Sanity is subscribing to culturally accepted illusions. There is no right or wrong side of sanity. The only defining factor is whether you want a solitary illusion to dwell in or a populated one.

I tend to lean towards your ethos, Exitwound. The solitary illusions are so intriguing. Tempting, adventurous, frightening and beautiful. But everyone who loves me and/or needs me is deeply embedded in the culturally accepted hallucination I currently find myself in. It would be ungrateful of me now to jump ship for a solitary dream.

Your story reminds me of an LSD experience i've head once: At some point i started to hear weird noises, sounding a bit like a jetplane, and i became convinced that whatever was producing these noises, it must have had something to do with me.

Then when i looked from my bed towards the window, i saw a light moving behind the curtain. It all of a sudden became clear to me that an alien spacecraft of some sort was hovering in front of my bedroom window, and trying to look into my bedroom with a a very bright kind of searchlight.

To be honest, the light actually wás realy bright. And it wás constantly moving. And if i wouldn't have had the curtains closed, it would have shone straight into my bedroom.

However, it did start to dawn on me at some point, that all of this alien spacecraft stuff was extremely implausible.

I walked towards the window and opened the curtains. It was full moon but also a bit cloudy, causing the very bright moonlight shining straight into my bedroom to constantly change whenever the clouds where moving in front of it and away again.

The noise was also gone, and maybe it was just an auditory hallucination anyway.

Hits home for me. I'm in this nebulous funk where I concede that I need a drastic perspective shift to continue functioning properly. Feels like it's a fine line between phantasmagoric distraction and healing. Still working though it.

Safe Travels to all
Go 'Stros

I definitely understand your feelings here. DMT for example is something that I know will help me find balance and bring clarity, even in small amounts, with what I combat constantly.

And I think the phantasmagoria can be therapeutic as well, but can become negative and detrimental when we buy into it in the wrong ways and too much.

One love

I think it's an okay form of some of the explanations we can need if we process it right. Big thing is maybe that we don't get lost by taking everything too literally. There is nothing delusional about understanding a useful metaphor.

I don't have much to add, but i really appreciate reading these balanced ideas! I myself feel like you, indulging in some narrative from time to time, but never getting attached to them, always adding salt to my cosmological soup !

Subscribing very much to this, I can hardly see a way to avoid or live outside an illusion. Then it becomes matter to choose a functional one.

I always frown eyebrows when I hear this spiritual conundrum "your true self".

Is it necessary to be aware of something as non-illusory in order to identify something else as illusory, in this case,that all is illusory?

Can one really state that all is illusory if all is illusory, for that means the statement itself would too be illusory.

I'm just being a troublemaker

One love

This term can open to many directions.

In Buddhism there is the concept of interdependent arising, which means in a nutshell that there is no independent core self, but what is regarded as self consists of things that are not the self.

But then, if we think in terms of genuine and counterfeit, I think it's very possible to go from a superficial and fake identity into something that is more authentic and wise. In this sense it makes sense to seek what is "true" self.

I may have been a bit too harsh to the extraterrestrials. Their message could have been taken as a reminder that there is something beautiful inside me that transcends the current problems I'm going through. I recognized a potentially dangerous interpretation that would have inflated my ego and possibly caused an unhealthy pursuit of getting entangled of visionary experiences of whatever origin. It was probably good idea to reject this train of thought. However I could have given it a different interpretation that is a constructive one. The same experience can open to both directions, but at that moment I seemed to be entertained and motivated by some inner factors I didn't like.

Perhaps the closest we get to such an idea ["true self"] is the stream of consciousness that comprises an individual's subjective experience... granted that stream may be viewed as a highly faceted tesselated and nested stream...



One love

That is a fair point Void. But perhaps the apparent paradox is easily solved by saying all that is perceived by our human consciousness is an illusion?

Mmm, not seeing to much paradox in this context.

However, I do think how you augmented the statement gets closer to the core. However, one could then ask, how can we be aware of such if we can never escape our subjective perspective.

On the other end of your same statement, does that mean that there's a claim no other world exists outside our perspective or that we just can't know anything about it enough to make statements about it (moving towards solipsism of sorts)?

We can kinda start seeing why objectivity is more of an attempt and approach rather than something we actually attain; we seem unable to escape our subjective state enough to do so.

One love