♗

 I was14 or 16 years old, in a coma, in a hospital. At first, I felt like I was pinned on the wall and electrocuted, then I saw my family from above and later I told them exactly how and where they were in the room and they confirmed. 
Back to the hospital situation, I shouted - at least it felt like I shouted - "stop doing this to me, are you all crazy, or what !?!" and I was released, and it was nothing on the wall, and I was floating somehow at ceiling level. They were all talking among themselves and looking at the thing in the bed which was my suit, the body I used to control. I wasn't shocked or scared or even curious about it, I felt like waking up from a deep trance, disoriented but familiar with that state as being my true reality.
I lost very quick any interest in the events unfolding in that small room, and all the walls and ceiling were transparent, like made of glassy smoke, so I went out in the hallway and started exploring the place.
  I went back to the hospital after, and everything was as I saw it when I was a ghost, my room was at the end of a long hallway with rooms left and right, and at the other end there were the stairs on the left, two spacious elevators straight ahead and a window on the right wall.
 I've never been in that building before. I even went downstairs to an entry that was not used, the big glass doors were there, still chained, unused furniture and all sorts of devices covered in white sheets were in the square hallway exactly as I saw them while being in that weird state. The park at the rear of the building, the benches, the bushes and the trees were all there, I walked the pathways looking up and trying to assess the height I was flying/floating at, as a ghost. 
  And then, the ring. A woman who was doing the cleaning in that area asked the doctor if she can stay after her shift to pray at my bed, because I reminded her of her son who died of leukaemia. He was reluctant, but she insisted and he finally agreed, on condition that nobody sees her. 
  The doctor was (he's dead now) a neighbour and friend of my family, and he told me the whole story afterwards, when I visited him and I told him about my experience.
  The night he was on duty, he checked on me and opened the door and saw the woman mumbling something at my feet, while spinning a gold ring on her finger. That's all.
I found myself back in the suit and it felt like I was hit by 5 freight trains at once, one in each sense, like being in a closed iron maiden where I was to suffer the complete palette of pain, constantly and forever with no option to die. I was overwhelmed with desperation and started looking for the stupid ring like the whole Universe depended on me finding it, but there was a thin plastic tube getting tangled on my foot - the catheter - which I started to pull out but it seemed to be miles deep and it was horribly painful, so I tried to push it back but it wouldn't go so I just kept pulling on it until it came out with blood everywhere but I didn't care - I had to find the ring so I can escape again, regardless of how much I will damage the suit in the process.
I did not know about any ring before landing back in the suit, the memory of what happened in that room was stored somehow in the brain and not accessible to me while I was a ghost. Perhaps it was accessible, but I had no intention of interacting in any way with the suit which was repugnant to me, once dead.
  When I pulled all the wires the EKG thing started beeping and the nurse found me collapsed on the floor, trying to climb back to the bed, because I had to find the ring. This is what I told her, before I fainted again. 
  I will mention at this point that to me all religions are fake, scams meant to keep people stupid and fearful. Although the environment and everything in it does seem manufactured, the story behind it is definitely something else, and I am OK with not knowing it. There must be a reason why I don't taste UV light and I don't hear gravitation either. 
  Back to the story, the doctor was absolutely gobsmacked when I told him the whole story, and we became good friends, he would always have nice coffee, a cigar and some good old malt whiskey for me in his office ツ
  25-30 years later I experienced ayahuasca, because many are saying it takes one out of one's physical body, but it's not the same. Still amazing and unforgettable, but nothing the same. Visually stunning, the interaction with the Entities was ... memorable to say the least, and I somehow made a friend who listened to me and gave me some answers. And I saw lots of me, meeting other entities around something like a big box, like me repeating myself and being one at the same time, but still repeating myself ... that was eerie. And time was like a big brown-bluish lump of clay, physical like an object I could shape and use at will if the Entities would let me, which was not the case. They were very protective of it.
  At the end, the friendly Entity told me "Remember; all your trips were one". And when I landed back in this realm, very softly, I was still repeating myself, I could not stop it, and I was laughing at myself.
  Very vivid experience, and kind of weird, it echoed quite a while within me.

☟

What brought me here (2 of 2)

♗

  Being a real ghost felt very lonely - immaterial, floating above and moving without moving because it seemed like I was everywhere at once, even if I did not meet anyone and it wasn't richly coloured and no Faberge eggs, no messages, no friendly Entity, not even other ghosts.
  One interesting thing; when in that state - dead - one does not have feelings. None. And no sensory perception. I saw myself down there, in the hospital bed, but I didn't care, actually that body was kind of repelling me. I call them "suits", these bodies. 
  Sounds are distorted, but if one wants to make them clearer, one has to concentrate on a specific source. It won't be crystal clear, but understandable, because of the memory. One remembers what that noise means. The view is interesting, no colours, no deep dark either. I saw a blue oxygen cylinder, I remember "looking" at it twice, because it was coloured. And the view is 360°, perhaps even like a ball - I didn't have time to fully adjust to my new options - and I could focus on something just by wanting to see it in detail, from a certain angle. No cold or warm, no happiness or sorrow, no smell, no colours (except blue) no touch, no taste, some sort of sight and very distorted, mixed sounds.
  Another interesting thing, while in the park, I remembered that the trees' crowns are green, and they became green, and I thought I should go back inside and try to get the rest coloured as well, but it was a trap, because I was pulled back. And it was painful, when I was being reconnected with the physical body all the senses hit me at once, it was overwhelming. Perhaps this is why new born children are crying, their soul is in actual pain.
This is what started me on this journey into psychedelics and I messed around with them all.
Until I had my first encounter with the Spice, K was my top, the out-of-body experience is a cheap fake and the after-shocks quite bad, but at least the visuals are stunning and with a healthy dose of the Russian "VetaSept", one will keep tripping for hours in an absolutely amazing and totally unpredictable but quite easily controllable environment.
DMT opens a gate to some other place, where access and interaction are fully controlled by the other side. I had a very good relationship with the Entities, especially my "Guide" until I went dirty in a rushed visit. Unprepared and full of garbage. I was immediately bitchslapped and got the boot in my arse without any comment, even some sort of ugly, threatening, fat dog-like creatures were brought on me but I was not impressed and I tried to reason with my Guide, admitting my guilt of being dirty and un-invited and hoping for forgiveness. I got none, and still feel the rejection, once the gate is open I think the Entities can use it to interact with this side even after the trip.
Every time I approach the idea of attempting a breakthrough there's the words "Fuck off, stay away" hitting me in my face like a frying pan. I'll go through a cleansing process and try again. If permitted, of course.
I always keep close a voice recorder on stand-by before starting on a journey, so I can save as much as I can from the experience, while it's still "warm", I'll post later some transcripts.

▣

They always tell you what they are going to do to you, the wef & co. and the kings and queens alike.
And both groups being known Satanists and both following the exact same algorithms in their actions, having the same interests and following the same rules and orders tells me that although they want to be seen as two distinct groups, they are in fact one and the same, the new beast is none else than one, uninterrupted continuation of the old beast.
You see, most evil people don't always love and worship Satan, they are too busy covering, doing, planning evil to be bothered by such thought. But in this specific group attacking everything about us, every single one of them is a Satan worshipper, not one exception, none.
Meaning that Satan exists and is attacking us.
My theory is that God exists and Satan exists, and they are One. I'll explain.
God created us indeed, but for his fun, not for our sake. Sounds more logical and appropriate, anyway. He may be so immensely different and advanced in every way, that to him, even the smartest things only the top geniuses do, look really dumb and retard, something along the jumps and twitchings of a headless fly, or it could be that he moves so fast compared to us, that we look dead to him.
Maybe he wanted dollies to play with, so he found some spare clay and did his thing, not knowing that the battery that keeps the little monkeys moving known as Sowl has "ego" and sometimes even "conscience" as a secondary effect on them, obviously a small, irrelevant design flaw.
And now he is Satan, because he is bad, breaking and kicking all his toys out of the pram - for some reason that may not even have anything to do with us. Perhaps Fengulla, the Psichotriptic Cat spilled his vunzelmilk in every conceivable dimension and now he has to scrub them all clean. Seems plausible, why not ?
Like kids kicking and bashing their little toy soldiers, without ever asking themselves if those little figures feel pain or have a life or thoughts of their own. They're just some stupid toys after all, aren't they ? Made of lead, plastic, wood ... or clay.




















clay ?!

🔈

The voice.
The voice starts faint and echoey, like coming from far away, in an ample hall. Easily recognisable, for one strange particularity. It is low pitched, almost like Tibetan throat singing but it does not sing, it is more like proclaiming, sentencing something.
The high frequencies are perceived as continuous, as one goes lower and lower on the frequency scale, one starts hearing the peaks and the pits, the separation between the spikes becomes more and more perceivable.
Well, this voice is low, but continuous. This is what makes it un-natural and immediately recognisable. I don't get what it says at the beginning, only towards the end, when its amplitude increases I can make out something like "... have all been in vain", or "have all been one", something like that. I'll go for the latter, because the friendly Entity told me - twice, on different sessions - in a very clear voice "Remember - all your trips were one". In clear, plain English.
I tried hard, but I cannot make out the pitch of the Entity's voice, it seems to encompass the whole spectrum, so it feels more like it is being stamped gradually on my brain, this is the best I can describe it. Like it shines a lot brighter than any other idea, and there is no way I can ignore it. So perhaps it isn't a voice after all, it is just my brain trying to make sense of how it got there.
The deep voice signalling that my time in that realm nears its end says quite a lot more than that, but the end - at least - is always the same. It always sounds rethorical, like reading something of high importance, like a final court order that has already been decided and that's it. Calm, but very determined, resolute. It is only the echo in the dark that makes it difficult to understand. When "vain" or "one" is being pronounced, I am already sucked into the black vortex, on my way to pop out back in this realm. I tried to run, hide, concentrate on changing things around, ignore the voice, nothing works and the trip ends.