I spent a great deal of my late teens and early 20's searching for meaning through psychedelics and philosophy. I wanted to figure out what it was all about, where I was going, what the point was, and what I wanted.

This did, admittedly, lead to a whole host of problems like false attribution and hasty conclusions, but by the end, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted.

Long story short, a lot of life stuff happened that took a great deal of my attention. Not only that, but I was purposeful in filling up my time with goals, responsibilities, and things that I wanted.

It's been over four years since my last psychedelic trip now, too, but I'm no more inclined to wade back into the psychedelic pool. It seems my obligations are ceaseless, as are the actions required to meet my goals. Part of my whole intent with exploring psychedelics in the first place was to figure out what to do, and now I'm there.

I grieve, to some extent, the loss of the naivety associated with juvenile drug use, along with the sense of wonder. I have not, by any means, figured it all out, but rather figured out some of it and the stuff I gotta do. It seems a injustice to never get the opportunity to trip again, but my problem is that I'm not sure I'll ever need to call back

My obligations seem endless, and even when they temporarily cease, the small lapse I get is almost instantly filled by other passions. It's not that I am not still infatuated by the psychedelic experience, but that I feel like I'd need to approach them completely different.

It seems impossible to trip without reflecting, but I feel like I would need to simply take a break from other things. Instead of tripping to investigate my daily dilemmas, it would be a total immersion in something different. Set aside human concerns and explore for the pure sake of exploring. Have fun, tap into the spiritual, and consider the bigger questions.

But when is the time?

The time will be whenever it occurs

It sounds like you've leveled up. Perhaps, know that you're taking a step back from psychedelics willingly, immerse yourself in your other life goals and pursuits, all the time being aware that the "call" will happen at some point in the future, and remain open to that call.

I don't think there has to be a need per se. Maybe mindful and thoughtful curiosity is enough. And one is allowed to have fun with psychedelics too in moderation of course.

I'm actually one that disagrees with the "hang up the phone" philosophy in an absolute sense. I think that such an approach may be appropriate and work for some people, but not all. Not me, that's for sure. Calling back allows me to get new messages from the "friends" I like "talking" to .

One love

I'm in a very similar boat but I haven't had a complete hiatus from psychedelics and my situation is more that I'm "calling" much less often. I do trip on mushrooms rarely and I cultivate entheogens as a hobby. itself.

I work everyday for at least 10 hour shifts doing 2 full time jobs (quitting the weekend job upon reflection that I'm missing out on life with family - literally making out the 2 week notice soon and turning it in next weekend and I'm very excited to be relieved of that burden; I actually make enough income at a full time distribution warehouse job but it's not what I want out of life either).

I'm planning to go to college for an IT or computer networking degree just so that I'm saved the consequences of wrist and elbow injuries associated with cutting boxes every day and performing repetitive movements with my wrists and hands but also because the job I work still isn't a set in stone career with what I consider the appropriate level of compensation.

The environment is anti-union. They lay off temporary workers instead of hiring them after the probationary period. The company has contributed to the opiate epidemic across the country. The only thing this place offers that is really sufficient is a set of benefits and almost quality pay that begins to be what you want out of it after you've capped out raises (jobs like retail and food service don't typically offer those basics so I'm deeply privileged). I have become more aware of the responsibilities of life and that I don't want to continue to hustle everyday because that torture of not tending to my investment in my future is real turmoil and deprecation. I see life as a means of survival. I see myself as very privileged compared to others which I try to recognize that I'm privileged to even have the ability to use psychedelics even rarely.

It's temporary and I always plan to "call back" whatever that means

Hi,

There are different angles to approach the use, and only one of them is to find understanding/insights imho.

The simple action of perspective change, the bending and coming back, leaves me less stuck, less one eyed, less stern in one position, more flexible in life. Like one has to continue doing yoga to keep being flexible, else stiffness creeps in again before you know it. Imho there is a wisdom/knowledge fallacy out there, one that funnels down the whole experience to just that, being: something to know.

If I ever got knowledge from it, it was contradictions. There's nothing more annoying than trying to box that into a got-the-message. Must cut out at least 50% to be able to define some hints of resolution. How do you ever start to render something like that into a message-format? A ton of richness in the experience lies outside the mental framing imho.

I had not thought of it in that way, but you are right about that fallacy. That sentiment is especially prevalent in that the content of powerful experiences is rarely linguistic. Not only is the "getting the message" idea an injustice because it boxes the trip into a short paragraph of realizations, but it also is built on the assumptions that language can satisfyingly capture the experience. Thought in and of its self does not happen solely with words, so it should come as no surprise that playing with substances that warp, amplify, and expand thought would only further add to the ineffability of the human mind.

I think it is natural for people to want to rationalize, compartmentalize, trace, and pattern their experiences, and perhaps that is where this "hang up the phone" idea comes from--if someone has found something beneficial in psychedelia, they better use it before another trip puts its up for grabs. I also believe that is where fear can come from, as the potential for these substances to put things up for grabs is tremendous. Anything can be brought into question, and to be strung along on such a boundless and wild train is frightening if you lack the mental fortitude and self compassion to gracefully go through it.

Privilege is an interesting word to use for your ability to use psychedelics, but it is entirely true. As a matter of fact, there are probably billions of people that may be curious about these substances, but because of their circumstances, they can't do them; or, atleast, their set and setting is not ideal. Can't imagine tripping in a warzone, drought, famine, or political unrest situation would make anybody happy.

That said, there are some people who seems to play with these substances regardless of their circumstances. I have a friend who could be considered a burnout by most standards. Had a kid in high school, didn't finish his diploma, and has been just coasting through life ever since. Works a bit here and there, but remains under constant financial strife.

Yet he trips regularly, goes to festivals, and honestly thrives in it. It's absolutely bonkers to me, because my situation is much more stable than his, and the idea of tripping is still incredibly distant for me.

If anything, it goes to show that the stereotypes of culture and the "right" way to do things is absolutely not universal, and is especially hard to apply to tripping. Spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, some people may just be further along.

I suppose this idea does round back to the notion of setting things aside to trip. I think it takes an incredibly skilled and intrepid psychonaut to put the worries of their life down to purely enjoy a psychedelic experience, and of course, the concerns that would make one person shy away from tripping may be trivial to another.

I don't really think you're missing out necessarily. If you don't find the time, then you probably aren't truly invested into tripping, simple as that.
If you've moved on from feeling the need, then it is a testament to your progress.

Like the phenomenon of people attending group therapy only sporadically due to "time constraints" (In fact, once these people get settled in, they are suddenly not constrained by their schedules any longer), you might just not feel tripping is truly as rewarding as it once was, since you found what you were looking for then.

For me personally tripping was a form of self therapy/exploration initially, which progressed into tripping as a sort of performance enhancing drug, and finally into tripping for the sake of enjoying the trip, introspective and useful, or not.

The really important question is rather, why should you trip now? What for?

I'm feeling a lot of what you said. I'm sure our lives are very different but the description could be applied to me in many ways...

Kind of like how most "good stories" have a "hero's journey" even if the stories are nothing alike. So our lives probably are nothing alike but I can see how your writing seems familiar to me.

Anyhow... All I can say is... keep trying.

Keep trying to take at least 1 step in the right direction... Whatever that direction is. Away from psychs, towards it, sideways haha...

If you can reduce obstacles, then it will become much easier.

No idea what you really need. Someoen else's answer maybe much better. I got something similar to yours, here. https://www.dmt-nexus.me...1174759&#post1174759