This last time I did it, lasted about 8 hours, but I took too much MAOI wanting it to work, so the MAOI made it not as clear as I feel the DMT can be. But I was very depressed during the core of it, very confused, the visuals were interesting but fleeting, I got some visions and some messages from Ayahuasca such as a slot machine that I pulled asking how to get over Lyme, when it ended she said, "You still have Lyme because you are doing it to yourself. You still need to change to fully heal." then kissed me on the forehead.

After a while, I wanted it to be over, just was foggy and confused, very depressed, I felt like I wasn't sure about this new business change, I want to actually enjoy life and finally heal...

Open eye visuals were interesting, the ceiling was morphing and had colorful geometric patterns shifting, at one point my arm and hand looked foreign, as if I was dead, then I asked myself if I died right now, where do I actually go? Would I be ready to die right now if it came to it?

The depression and confusion went on and on, I had to process all my fears with all the different directions my life would go if I made certain decisions in the business, etc. All the anxieties and issues were forefront and being fully experienced.

Then when talking to my friend when the peak was ending, I said that maybe I have been fighting, fighting, fighting, and it is time to finally surrender to the Lyme... then after I said that, I just started crying and I felt intense pain for about 30 minutes, my body would shake at times, I felt all the pain of having Lyme and having a limited disabled life, how I had to accept it to truly heal, that I needed to connect to my family, that I was sorry to my mother about not connecting with her, etc etc. the pain was intense, it was throughout my whole body, and lasted a long time until it was over.

I messaged my father and mother with gratitude, and I plan on connecting with my family more, especially my mother,

As it was wearing off, I was feeling really off, almost schizophrenic, could still see this exploding outward of spheres when I close my eyes, had some fear I messed myself up since my brain function was heavily impaired, almost thought I would have to check myself into a psychiatric hospital… But finally it wore off and I felt normal again.

Afterwards, I feel the need to live a more of a spiritual life, surrender more, meditate more, etc

I believe you had the "typical" Rue+Mimosa experience. I recognize the overwhelming body dysphoria and just sickness that is pervasive during the entire time, the disorganized thoughts, delirium, and impression of just plain schizophrenia that you never knew you could feel. The visuals are confusing, sometimes overwhelming, sometimes more gentle, but it comes and goes in waves that eventually subside and you return to normal. I don't even want to talk about the nausea
My suggestion is to not look that much into the imagery or try to force a meaning from the experience. Expect the experience to be a variation of this, where you can tune the amount of DMT or MAOI. Next time you can try to use only pure harmine extract, since the harmaline in both syrian rue or caapi is responsible for the more bad mental side effects and is more nauseous. You can also add pure tetrahydroharmine extract, just remember that it takes about 2 hours for it to reach peak levels if you eat it.

For me the benefit of a pharmahuasca experience comes with the mood regulation and lowering of traits like anxiety and neuroticism that come when you do this repeatedly over months. Once every 2-3 weeks seems the good spot.