I want to share something which is in a way a bit difficult to put in words. I try. It is more of a question for me (and for you) and not a statement.

It is related to my last post, a description of my last Changa trip:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...spx?g=posts&t=100192

The question for me is something like: how do the impacts of psychedelic experiences on my life change over the years?

I started my psychedelic journey 2015 in the age of 36 in a group session with High Dose! Psilohuasca. It totally reframed my standing in the world but in a very subtle, deep way. I don't want to describe it in detail. I experienced complete Oneness of being, and in the comedown a lot of my own hidden shadows. Some month after this I tried 5-Meo-DMT on my own (I can not explain anything about this, totaly unimaginable) and MDMA. In the years after these two experiences I reframed my own view on life and lived life more passionate (if you can say this). Not that all was easy, more the other way around. I saw my shadows, and now lived (and danced) with it. My control freak behavior, my escaping in drugs (cannabis, mdma and low dose psychedelics), my problems with making friends and holding connection with people who are important for me. But even in this dance with the shadows I evolved more and more to a human being with all the bliss and sorrow a human can experience, which is groundbreaking beautiful. My feeling is, that I am in THE!!! perfect time and place on earth in THE!!! perfect body and with THE!!! perfect family a human can need. I grow very! slowly in a more nondual living of life.
The above is to explain the impact of the psychedelics on my life. Now my psychedelic use has developed to changa. My last experience I describe here: https://www.dmt-nexus.me...spx?g=posts&t=100192
It was as beautiful and deep and insightful as the first Psilohusaca and 5-Meo experiences. But it does impact me on a more normal, not so mindblowing way. This is interesting. A comparison came to my mind: If you do DMT / Changa on a mushroom trip it comes not so like a rocket, but more slowly, because you are already in a open state.
Maybe the impact of psychedelics in my life right now, are not so extreme mindblowing because I developed already to a more "open" state. How do you experience this? For me this is very beautiful to see. I do not yearn for this mindblowing / lifechanging experiences like in the beginning of my psychedelic journey.

I have to say a disclaimer: I do not want to say that I am in any way better or more spiritual developed than any other human being on this earth, I am full of strange thoughts and behaviors!!! But I love life how it presents to me and try to do my best, which sometimes looks very creepy in the outcome.

I had to give up that chase too.
I imagine is something most of us experience the first times, from going through life, minding your own business and probably being too caugth up in yourself, to being openend to the deep truth of Unity, of Infinity, of God, its a wild paradigm shift, and its incredibly beatiful.

Nowadays I take that for granted, whether I live my live more or less aligned with that truth, now I know where Im headed.
It might be similar to childhood, its usually beautiful by default (hopefully), then you get too caught up and eventually you learn how to be an eternal child.

Lately Ive come to think about psychedelics as pretty much the same as "normal life", you experience life, you process it, you grow and you move on.
With psychedelics is the same, only the experience is exponentially more intense and requires your undivided atention to be properly processed, I mean, in a sense so does regular life tbh.

I guess thats kinda the closing point about oneness too, why would psychedelics be any diffrerent that anything else?
I think is a matter of closing the gap, "this" and "that" world, the transformation came because it was needed, not so much is needed anymore, the work goes on is more subtle ways.

My 2 cents.

Very beautiful.

We kinda learn through psychedelic experience, if we pay enough attention, how important context is.

For me, in my journey presently, I am sort of taking it easy as I reclimb the ladder of depth experience. I do psychedelics relatively often, but much of the time is low dose, allowing me more agency and mindfulness in my practice as well as allowing me to explore the somatic odds and ends.

Also, I love smoalking changa on mushrooms. It's almost a habit at this point lol. I do enjoy harmalas on mushrooms as well.

One love

I'm curious on how you use harmalas on mushrooms. What amount and how do you feel it effects the journey?

You two just made me think of this, which is almost totally irrelevant

Depends on my mood, but I'll either drink some rue tea or I'll smoke some rue extract. I have yet to administer the extract sublingually or orally, but will soon.

I think I tend to go a little too much on the rue tea, because I often have to spend 10 to 15 minutes prostrated on the floor while I get my bearings after drinking the tea while I'm already on mushrooms. Dose is usually 3g-4g.

When I smoke it, I mix it with some cannabis in a bong. When I smoke rue with just cannabis while not on mushrooms, 40mg is my sweet spot. When on mushrooms I usually do around 20mg (I'm still in the experimental stage).

I experience both potentiation and synergy when adding harmalas to mushrooms. If I smoke or drink tea during the come up, it'll shorten the time of the come up. If I smoke or drink tea when the come down begins then the experience is extended and intensified. Doing so in the middle of the journey increases intensity and slightly extends the trip. Extensions of the trip seem to be more prevalent through oral administration of harmalas. There are other subtle nuances that harmalas add such more groundedness and others that are kind of hard to describe.

The past year and a half has made me feel that harmalas are severely underrated. They can be amazing by themselves. Often I use them to enrich my meditations.

One love

P.S. DF0, we haven't ever met IRL, but you know me too well I love that kinda stuff!

You bring up a lot of interesting points and I am struggling to respond without wanting to share too much useless information so I will just say a few things without trying to weave it all into a narrative:

I had infrequent but deep experimentation with psychedelics for a while, then had a few years of earnest psilohuasca experiences and I thought I was done having my mind blown, I thought I could integrate anything. Then I decided to try smoking dmt

---

I'd say originally I was so measured, calculated, controlled, and closed as a person that my mind was pretty well resistant to being blown. Being level-headed was who I was. I had a long slow unwrapping of my layers of mental protections before I reached the point that I finally opened up enough that my mind could be blown effectively. I actually did have a few mind-blowing experiences, but they were so bizarre and unintegratable with my life that I basically just forgot them, repressed the most powerful realizations of my life and moved on. I had to open up a whole lot before I could ever experience something lifechanging.

I had a mushroom trip a few years ago that looking back on it set me on the path of earnest exploration not for want of escape, but of learning, improvement, and piety. The trip involved me recalling past experiences I had and truths I had seen but could not integrate at the time. I got to go back and witness again the three ++++ experiences of my life that I had completely forgotten. The most powerful, the most sacred knowledge, and I had forgotten... I got the chance to remember, and I was finally in a place as a person that I could deal with my discoveries, that I had enough understanding, love, and faith that I was able to actually accept what these experiences told me. That was when my life truly changed because of psychedelics.

I think mind-blowing on its own isn't all that useful but when you unravel and understand the mindblowing you can finally integrate it into being life changing.

Voidmatrix. Thanks for the reply. I've always (3-4 times) taken rue, as tea or extract, in good time before the mushrooms. Never in the coming up or during the trip. I thought it took to long time for the rue to work.

When I taking orally before vaping DMT I start to feel some effects first around 2h. But it's possible that the MAOI effects are indeed happening before that.

And RowRowRowYourBoat. Good read about your experiences!

downwardsfromzero. Yes those were the days
A bit to much for accompanying my recents traveling, but it sure would bring up some half forgottens memories from the 90's rave scene.

Psychedelics, especially DMT and Ayahuasca have taught me a lot about gratitude towards life. The suffering is there, but it's just one color on the palette.

Psychedelics have motivated me to seek what is good in life and what is sustainable. Sometimes the work feels overwhelming, when you look at the failures that bring suffering in our cultures, but the good stuff is there, the connection, the care, the peace of mind and we're in this together.

Welcome to the Nexus, Spiritfarmer!

Thank you for the welcoming Tomte,

I have to excuse me for being a so long time off (the nexus). I am no social media activist, like someone other maybe. I have not found my way in it, yet. And i am fine with it. So I connected with the nexus this year, but I am in the forum only every 2 or 3 month. Now is the time again, after last time in August.

My journeys in the "dreamtime", were few since then, but profound. One interesting but low dosed, was in a mountain side on a place called "devils cliffs" in the night alone. It was with low dosed changa...(I was not climbing on the cliffs during the session :-)

Glad I am part of the nexus.