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Lost ape
#1 Posted : 7/11/2022 4:38:59 AM
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Hello everyone,
I’ve been visiting the forum a lot in the past and have finally joined, in hopes I can advance the cause and also get some insights on my predicament.

Here’s a super condensed version for whoever doesn’t have the time or desire to read my whole post: I get practically no CEV from DMT anymore. I ate a chocolate bar containing 3.5g of psilocybin and it hardly tickled my pickle. acid seems to still have an effect. Ayahuasca no longer gives me that feeling of unlimited peace and love. Has anyone experienced this?


Background story(and general psychedelic experience context) for how this all came to be: 2 years ago I tried my first hallucinogen ever: acid. It was a strangely interesting experience and it got me curious for more. 6ish months later I ate some mushrooms for the first time and for the first time in my life I cried out of joy. I visualized the incredibly turquoise water from where I’m from and cried at the incredible beauty of it.

Around New Years I took roughly 200ug of acid at a party and had a very interesting but not particularly insightful night.

A few months later I tried some more shrooms and had many interesting thoughts and insights, my mind was exploring all kinds of new emotions and ways of being.

I was in Brazil one day and remembered that ayahuasca was something that could be done there, so I contacted a santo daime shaman in the city I was in and got a private ceremony with one other friend.

Despite the knowledge that I needed to not use any drugs before the ceremony, I did smoke a tiny bit of weed 2 days before.

Our shaman gave us 8x strength ayahuasca servings. The first cup, I sat through and hardly felt anything until the very end, where I could start feeling the fact that something was different. Peace was descending upon me. The music ended and we went for our 2nd glass of ayahuasca. I drank about 2/3 of the cup and got the desire to puke immediately (no previous warning and I hadn’t puked yet the first dose) after puking most of my second cup, I proceeded to drink the last 1/3 left and laid back down.

That’s when it hit. It wasn’t a very visually interesting voyage, but it was emotionally incredibly significant. The medicine let me know many things I had done wrong and let me know how to live my life much better. I felt the presence of a god. It was unmistakable. I have never before felt or even believed in gods, but the sensation was impossible to interpret in any other way. I was not spoken to nor did I really interact with it, it simply was there, for me to feel. Later on, Everything disappeared.

Everything ceased to exist. I had no memories, no desires, no needs, I had no body and no thoughts. Everything about me was stripped away and there was just my completely blank soul. Slowly the universe appeared before me, and I was zooming farther and farther in, toward earth. I began to be able to make questions, like “who am I?” And “what is reality” and the closer I got to earth, the more I understood.

I’m not a very good writer, but the experience for me was the most incredible thing I’d ever experienced and came out with the desire to share it with everyone on the planet.

The next day I flew back to the USA and a couple days later a friend of mine let me try some of their DMT. I, being a person who almost never smokes weed or anything for that matter, had an incredibly difficult time smoking the DMT and only was able to inhale enough to get some crazy ultra HD colorful imagery. I never felt that cascade of unlimited beauty and divinity that I did with ayahuasca. This perplexed me quite a bit. I tried DMT A few more times that month and even got myself one of those little disposable vape DMT pens. Same story with those: super cool visuals but no divinity.

A couple weeks later I went to a concert and was the Guinea pig for a raw batch of freshly laid acid. It was higher than it was supposed to be. I thought I ate 300 mics but probably got somewhere between 700-2000 mics. I was quite rapidly transported to an ayahuasca-like dark realm (not sinister, just devoid of light) minus the divinity and love. It was like a neutral ayahuasca. I can’t remember much of that experience, other than that I do remember having some sexual thoughts that if I’m honest we’re borderline non consensual. During that time, apparently my head was resting on a female friend’s thigh, which I proceeded to bite. Didn’t draw blood, but left a bruise. Luckily everyone I was with was an experienced tripper and they diffused the situation and kept me safe.

A few weeks later, I returned to Brazil. I, being the reckless adventurer that I am, decided it was a good idea to eat some shroom chocolate and a bit of acid on the airplane (yes, I’m stupid, I know) I didn’t do anything crazy and actually wouldn’t recommend doing that to anyone. It sucks wanting to dance and be happy and celebrate when stuck on a 10 hour airplane ride.

The key to this is that the next day after I arrived to Brazil, I went to do another ayahuasca ceremony. I had done research on DMT and ayahuasca, but not enough to have learned that acid and shrooms create cross tolerance to DMT (or so I believe to have understood from my research since then)

Basically, either the huge 2000ug acid dose or the acid and shrooms a day before ayahuasca did something to me because I felt the divinity and beauty of ayahuasca a tiny bit, but was unable to reach a moment of transcendence. The next day I tried a private session and still no luck. Close, but nowhere near what it had been before.

I was very frustrated and confused, but still filled with the desire to share its beauty with the world, so I spoke with my shaman and convinced him to get me some “daime gel” which is basically ayahuasca that’s been boiled down to the point that it is about as fluid as cold honey. It cost me the equivalent of 300 bucks and I was told it would arrive in a month, because it was being sent from deep in the Amazon.

During this time, my friends grandfather died, and his whole family was in a state of suffering. He had been their father figure for a very long time and his wife had been with him for 70+ years. They were entering depression, so I offered the whole family a chance to use my little DMT pen. Everyone but the grandmother (her lungs were too weak to pull) were able to smoke it and they all felt much better and at peace with the death of the grandfather. This motivated me even further to try to share the beautiful substance with more people.

Shortly thereafter, I traveled to Mexico, where I smoked some more DMT a few times (never enough to break through, would still get those ultra HD visuals)

I returned once again to Brazil once my ayahuasca gel had arrived (I went to Brazil 10 times last year, in case anyone was wondering). This is where I believe it all went to shit. I was very cautious at first, as I had been warned that even a small drop of it was enough to trip for 10 hours, so all I consumed was one little drop.

Nothing.

I proceeded the next day to up the dosage significantly and had a mild ayahuasca experience. I recall that feeling of being whooshed to the heavens, but I was scared because I had decided to do the ayahuasca by myself and feared the possibility of somehow hurting myself and I believe that fear ended the possibility of that particular trip being significant.
I drank the ayahuasca gel 3 days in a row, paused one day and continued for another 3. None of the experiences were transcendental, and by the end, i could tell it was not going to yield anything of significance.

Every one of the 3 cups of ayahuasca that I drank during the sessions that week was probably enough for about 30 people. Why would someone do such a thing you ask? Because I thought that maybe the guy that got me the gel had gotten me some bunk stuff. I decided to do a regular ceremony with another shaman to see if that would make a difference. It didn’t. I convinced him to give me some of his own daime gel and proceeded to drink another 30 people’s worth of it. No significant experience. After that, I stopped taking hallucinogens for 2 ish months.

I got some mimosa bark to extract DMT from in order to be able to share that with people, and after making the extraction, proceeded to test it on myself. At this point I. I longer was getting any closed eye visuals from the DMT. i smoked so much of my own DMT (and other peoples dmt, to be sure it want just mine that was bad) that I am now able to smoke about 100mg in 1 or 2 pulls. Ironic, because I get nothing from it. No experience, I just kind of black out and then come to a few minutes later. Sometimes I’ll regain consciousness for a little bit and be 100% disoriented and everything around me is just chaos and confusion and eventually it all comes back.

Oh I forgot to mention I tried Yopo in Colombia in November and had virtually no trip with that either. I also went to a bufo toad shaman in Mexico in December and it was the same, nothing. Less even than regular DMT.

I have since tried taking month long tolerance breaks to see if that would do anything, but it didn’t seem to really have much of an effect, if any.

I can pretty much pinpoint the beginning of all this madness to that one idiotic moment of eating shrooms and acid on the plane.

I thought DMT didn’t build tolerance, but evidently In me, that is not the case.

Forgive me brothers, I have sinned. I disrespected the plant and now I’m paying for it.

I come to this forum in search of help… has anyone had a similar experience? Any tips?

My shaman in Brazil thinks I should do some kambo before a ceremony and that that would do the trick. I’ll try that later, but I’d like to draw from the very deep pool of wisdom and knowledge that is in this forum.

Once again, please forgive me everyone, I know I’m an idiot.
 

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Lost ape
#2 Posted : 7/11/2022 5:12:39 AM
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I’d like to add that I’ve tried all kinds of variations to my DMT smoking set and setting. From weeks of time between hits, to 15min between hits, to bring in a dark room to being out in nature and meditating. None seems to make a difference.

If I smoke some during the day and open my eyes, I get visual distortions and everything gets cartooney or stuff just starts morphing and making less sense. Before, the CEVs were way more impressive than anything I could see with my eyes open, now it’s nothing.
 
Tomtegubbe
#3 Posted : 7/11/2022 9:13:49 AM

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Hi Lost ape and welcome to Nexus!

I get the feeling that you are somewhat obsessed about getting the experience once more. I believe this is the problem, not the method of ingestion.

You've gone through plenty of experiences, maybe it's time for you to take a break and reflect what you have experienced and come back when you have a clear intention in entering the hyperspace and know what you are looking for?

Paying respect to the medicine is the key in the medicine helping us. It can help us a lot, but it doesn't resolve our issues for us. We need to do our part.

I recommend, just take a break, focus on something else for a good while. That will build calm that helps you to find the right mindset when you are ready to go again.
My preferred method:
Very easy pharmahuasca recipe

My preferred introductory article:
Just a Wee Bit More About DMT, by Nick Sand
 
Brusshuk
#4 Posted : 7/11/2022 2:16:54 PM
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Wow! I was almost tripping reading the amounts you consumed. I've heard anecdotal story's of the experience dropping or some machine elf character saying "No more!"

A friend of mine got into it while back, perhaps a lot. She had a visit from some being that wagged its finger at her and told her it was time to stop.

I mean the places we go, the things we see, the feeling we get, the experiences we have, I think you've answered your own question.

My experience of DMT is it's a jump start to a new perspective. The 5 to 7 to 10 minutes is, for me, quite irrelevant. Sometimes I remember things that can make a difference to my well-being sometimes not.
Sounds like you have had some breakthrough experiences and maybe that's your lot. Well maybe not maybe if 100mg in 2 lungs does very little, quite possibly time to reflect on what you have experienced rather than chasing the next experience.
 
Voidmatrix
#5 Posted : 7/12/2022 12:07:33 AM

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Thank you for sharing.

First thought is that you seem to still be expecting the same kinds of experiences that one usually gets during the honeymoon phase, but it sounds like you're out of that at this time.

Which brings me to my second thought. It sounds like you're experiencing an extreme case of lockout, which no one knows the ultimate causes for. However, it also sounds like you were "chasing the dragon," and while the DMT experience may be only in our heads (no one knows this either), DMT doesn't seem to appreciate reckless or frivolous journeying. And it sounds like you're figuring that out.

I'm also wondering if you have a neurological resistance of some kind. Those are large doses to receive no effect.

As Tomtegubbe said, take a break. It'll still be there when you're ready again.

Welcome to the Nexus

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
Lost ape
#6 Posted : 7/17/2022 10:41:02 PM
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Tomtegubbe wrote:
Hi Lost ape and welcome to Nexus!

I get the feeling that you are somewhat obsessed about getting the experience once more. I believe this is the problem, not the method of ingestion.

You've gone through plenty of experiences, maybe it's time for you to take a break and reflect what you have experienced and come back when you have a clear intention in entering the hyperspace and know what you are looking for?

Paying respect to the medicine is the key in the medicine helping us. It can help us a lot, but it doesn't resolve our issues for us. We need to do our part.

I recommend, just take a break, focus on something else for a good while. That will build calm that helps you to find the right mindset when you are ready to go again.


I wasn't so much seeking the first experience, as much as I was seeking any experience at all. I've had my suspicions for a bit that the DMT is purposefully not showing me anything, because I already have very significant teachings from my (first) Ayahuasca and shroom experiences were profound and were easy to understand and apply... a sort of "go and apply what I taught you, then maybe come for more"

Brusshuk wrote:
Wow! I was almost tripping reading the amounts you consumed. I've heard anecdotal story's of the experience dropping or some machine elf character saying "No more!"

A friend of mine got into it while back, perhaps a lot. She had a visit from some being that wagged its finger at her and told her it was time to stop.

I mean the places we go, the things we see, the feeling we get, the experiences we have, I think you've answered your own question.

My experience of DMT is it's a jump start to a new perspective. The 5 to 7 to 10 minutes is, for me, quite irrelevant. Sometimes I remember things that can make a difference to my well-being sometimes not.
Sounds like you have had some breakthrough experiences and maybe that's your lot. Well maybe not maybe if 100mg in 2 lungs does very little, quite possibly time to reflect on what you have experienced rather than chasing the next experience.


I've heard and read of so many interesting DMT experiences and am a little sad that I haven't experienced them, but overall the psychedelic experience has done wonders for me and many others who I've shared it with. like you say, time to reflect and apply.

Voidmatrix wrote:
Thank you for sharing.

First thought is that you seem to still be expecting the same kinds of experiences that one usually gets during the honeymoon phase, but it sounds like you're out of that at this time.

Which brings me to my second thought. It sounds like you're experiencing an extreme case of lockout, which no one knows the ultimate causes for. However, it also sounds like you were "chasing the dragon," and while the DMT experience may be only in our heads (no one knows this either), DMT doesn't seem to appreciate reckless or frivolous journeying. And it sounds like you're figuring that out.

I'm also wondering if you have a neurological resistance of some kind. Those are large doses to receive no effect.

As Tomtegubbe said, take a break. It'll still be there when you're ready again.

Welcome to the Nexus

One love


I only very recently learned about lockout, and I'd say I'm firmly in that situation. like I said in my response to Tomtegubbe, its probably because I already have many learnings and should just go out and apply fully.

Thank you everyone for responding, I hope I can be of assistance to this community.
 
Tomtegubbe
#7 Posted : 7/17/2022 10:52:21 PM

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I've been on the brink of a lockout, trying to pry open the gates of hyperspace with more and more spice. I still remember the two jesters who appeared right in front of me and very clearly told me: "It doesn't work like this, boy." And I got it. They grinned and gave me a visual "10 p" for my realization.

Since then I've become better and better at recognizing my own mindset. Am I in a receptive and respectful mood for the medicine or am I acting out of boredom or compulsion? I have also become better at adjusting my mindset through certain preparations (cleaning my home, doing a walk through woods, reflecting on my intentions and meditating), but this also includes being honest about myself. If it seems like I'm not in proper mood for the sacrament, then I must let go and wait for another time.
My preferred method:
Very easy pharmahuasca recipe

My preferred introductory article:
Just a Wee Bit More About DMT, by Nick Sand
 
Lost ape
#8 Posted : 8/17/2022 6:23:08 PM
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Tomtegubbe wrote:
I've been on the brink of a lockout, trying to pry open the gates of hyperspace with more and more spice. I still remember the two jesters who appeared right in front of me and very clearly told me: "It doesn't work like this, boy." And I got it. They grinned and gave me a visual "10 p" for my realization.

Since then I've become better and better at recognizing my own mindset. Am I in a receptive and respectful mood for the medicine or am I acting out of boredom or compulsion? I have also become better at adjusting my mindset through certain preparations (cleaning my home, doing a walk through woods, reflecting on my intentions and meditating), but this also includes being honest about myself. If it seems like I'm not in proper mood for the sacrament, then I must let go and wait for another time.


How often were you smoking when you felt you were on the brink of lockout?

what do you mean by a "respectful mood"?

I try to be honest with myself, but god knows I have been very good at lying myself in the past, so who's to say I'm not still doing it now?
 
Voidmatrix
#9 Posted : 8/17/2022 7:02:10 PM

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Yeah lockout is an odd phenomenon of this Molecule, seeing as we don't have this experience with other molecules. I may have had some borderline lockouts where I have access but not fully. I think that I've only had partials because I try to do the work inside and outside the space and always approach with respect and reverence.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
Tomtegubbe
#10 Posted : 8/17/2022 8:22:32 PM

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Last visit: 17-Feb-2024
Lost ape wrote:
Tomtegubbe wrote:
I've been on the brink of a lockout, trying to pry open the gates of hyperspace with more and more spice. I still remember the two jesters who appeared right in front of me and very clearly told me: "It doesn't work like this, boy." And I got it. They grinned and gave me a visual "10 p" for my realization.

Since then I've become better and better at recognizing my own mindset. Am I in a receptive and respectful mood for the medicine or am I acting out of boredom or compulsion? I have also become better at adjusting my mindset through certain preparations (cleaning my home, doing a walk through woods, reflecting on my intentions and meditating), but this also includes being honest about myself. If it seems like I'm not in proper mood for the sacrament, then I must let go and wait for another time.


How often were you smoking when you felt you were on the brink of lockout?

what do you mean by a "respectful mood"?

I try to be honest with myself, but god knows I have been very good at lying myself in the past, so who's to say I'm not still doing it now?
It was the honeymoon phase with DMT, several times a week and many times in a row in those days I took it. I felt like I need to crack the code. I was acting out of curiosity, sometimes out of boredom. At worst I was already stoned and had a couple of beers and just wanted do some other substance. That was not respectful.

Nowadays I think about it (nowadays in the form of pharma/ayahuasca) like going on a date. I try to be in a mood where there's not too much on my mind and I can dedicate for meeting and being in a relationship with the medicine. Of course it doesn't always need to be super fancy but still I want to be there for the mother Aya and she'll be there for me.

If you can reflect your intentions (why am I doing this) and cultivate the more noble ones (eg. I want to get into touch with what is good and healing for me and all beings), your mind is likely to get into a more receptive mode and the gates of the hyperspace are more likely to open.

Also, I really recommend taking harmalas (boiling some peganum harmala seeds is the easiest source) prior to taking DMT.
My preferred method:
Very easy pharmahuasca recipe

My preferred introductory article:
Just a Wee Bit More About DMT, by Nick Sand
 
Phenethylamine23
#11 Posted : 9/28/2023 12:15:21 PM

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Fascinating story. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I've never heard about being locked out before until this thread.
My thoughts are probably more inclined to get mega hyper slapped than locked out.
Perhaps you've built up a tolerance. Burnt your DMT receptors?
Perhaps it was the LSD done something to you.
I'd be careful playing around with to many mind altering chemicals at once.
In either case a long break seems like a good idea for you.
Sounds abit like escapism, a yearning to dwell in the divine, perhaps even a death wish, or general dissatisfaction with life.
Perhaps there is other more disciplined approaches of achieving divinity states of consciousness for you, like living in a monestary.
The part about purifying your body seems fitting. Healthy nutrition, sweating, detox.
 
AwesomeUsername
#12 Posted : 9/28/2023 12:41:05 PM

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Phenethylamine23 wrote:
Fascinating story. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I've never heard about being locked out before until this thread.
My thoughts are probably more inclined to get mega hyper slapped than locked out.
Perhaps you've built up a tolerance. Burnt your DMT receptors?
Perhaps it was the LSD done something to you.
I'd be careful playing around with to many mind altering chemicals at once.
In either case a long break seems like a good idea for you.


Judging from the megadoses you took, I would also say probably tolerance AND familiarity.

Usually not so much is needed, and if kept ocassional it is something special. Aya and shrooms vary in strengt. Unless you cook it yourself, you never know how much of actives you are getting. Acid seems to be more consistent, but is itself also a sensitive chemical that could easily degrade.

With that on mind this is likely an explanation for the lack of depth, but could also go the other way and be an "overdose".

Too potent leads to memory gaps, this combined with anxious come-up and uncomfortable/unmanageable trip can leave you more lost than before.

I believe every experienced tripper reaches your point at some time, this is the time you decide if you want to take a break or use it as a recreational drug occasionally.

The messages have already been received and integrated, if you reexperience it it is like reading a book that you already read. It might be fun, but you already know how it ends.
 
 
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