This post is to serve as a dumping ground for most of my sub-hyperspace experiences, as I don't think I have truly and fully broken through as of yet.
I hope to be able to make sense of the things I have seen with the assistance of others who have seen similar things, and possibly draw some kind of conclusion to what it might be we've been seeing, if that's even possible.
It all started one night after a week of attempting to smoalk purified dmt crystals with no actual success. I suspect what I had may have been a different molecule altogether, but I don't know.
But on one particular night I added a small wad of orange putty I managed to scrape off the bottom of a bowl after a precipitations, and combined it with the white dust I had and with some chamomile tea, and smoked it. I managed to get some actual smoke out of this, and while I briefly thought it was a failure, the strangeness of the curtains nearby quickly told me I was on the right track. So, eagerly I began smoking some more, even applying the flame directly to the white crystals (this I learned actually wastes a lot, but it may have been for the best in this instance as I don't think I could have handled being flung directly into hyperspace right away).
This resulted in an experience where I began to see fractal snowflake-like crystals form on the wall along a line of smoke damage from prior years of marijuana smoke, and eventually the wall transformed into an open blue sky, and the fractals served as some kind of safety rail. I felt absolutely wonderful, because I had finally succeeded in making what I'd spent weeks trying to extract, and I could finally get an experience in the realm of the psychedelic which was both potent, and brief.
I experienced closed-eye visuals of some sort of doughnut shaped grid room with strange shapes and objects inside of it, and loved it, but was enamored with the open sky in the wall, so I only looked at the closed-eye visuals briefly.
As I lay down on my bed, I felt the presence of a woman coming to greet me, she seemed happy to see me, though I couldn't see here, but I could feel here there. She seemed to be "coming on" to me, but I was taken off guard by this experience and was reluctant to go deeper, she seemed to respect my reluctance and sort of backed off a bit, she seemed so nice. I felt her heart was good, and intentions good, I just wasn't 'ready'.
Fast forward to later, I tried again with significantly more of the brown goo, this resulted in all kinds of strange closed-eye visuals, one involved two grey-brow-skinned beings with many arms which resembled either something out of Hinduism, or something else, walking by me and waving their arms in an arced fashion. Their eyes were wide, and reminded me of freaked-out shamans trying to cast spells. I did not like them. Their hearts seemed to be filled with deceit as far as I could tell, which is odd that I would think it. I figured they were some image that just appeared as a result of what I was on, but why did they feel somehow hostile? What did I ever do to them? The rest of that trip felt somewat uncomfortable, and my trust waned greatly.
Sometime between this last trip and my next, I had heard the words of a woman replying to someone saying "why don't we just do that to [SWIM's name]?" And I replied verbally with "I'm sorry do WHAT!?" which resulted in silence. (Note: This isn't quite the same as actually hearing a voice, this has happened once before to me many years ago and long before I'd taken any psychadelic or drug, I was praying to my God asking for forgiveness for something, and I heard someone exclaim as if offended "But he's a cocksucker!", to which I verbally replied: "I can hear you Satan." I don't believe this is the same as hearing voices in a mentally ill sense, as I have experienced that once as a result of severe stress, LSD and chronic/dangerously high marijuana use (an ounce would last me two to four days in those days, and my mind was NOT happy about it, I have since fully recovered from it). I have noticed a stark difference between hearing voices and whatever this was, and I have only heard voices outright on two separate isolated times. One told me to shut up, the other was like the universe itself spoke a word. But these other instances, it was quiet, as if I was hearing someone's thoughts or words in some other room. I could compare the experience of hearing that woman's thoughts/words as if I was hearing a telepathic communication, but I don't subscribe to this belief fully. It is just as likely that I am experiencing auditory effects of the spice.
My last and most recent trip was more interesting though, in the spirit of total honesty I intended to smoalk some and watch p0rn online, but this was interrupted as you will soon see:
When I was packing my spice to smoalk, I had gathered some steel screens which were folded and had the spice measured and stuck to the bottoms of them. The steel would absorb the flame's impact and transfer the heat to the spice, which would then vaporize and be smokeable from there. But, as I lifted a screen I had prepared to put it in the device, I heard that woman's thoughts again saying something like "come on put it in just- wait, no don't!" And at that last part, I had checked the screen and noticed that the larger majority of spice I had left was stuck quite accidentally to the bottom of the folded screen. This would have resulted in a dose which would have shot me STRAIGHT into hyperspace, which I was not prepared for. I removed this, and smoked what I had, but then thought about it and realized that an entity may have been wanting to get me to fully break through to the other side to meet her/it. So I smoked the rest a minute or two later to find myself wedged halfway into hyperspace and halfway not. This trip became rather unpleasant, I felt that I was on some kind of operating table and spotted some machinery as reality flickered between here and another place, and got the sense that there was some advanced civilization in another time or space or right next to me where I couldn't see, and they were projecting a reality at me.
I tried to relax, and the voice and mine seemed to phase into one another, "relax, trust, surrender, yes just like that..." but the way they sounded seemed... I don't know how to describe it, I felt like a kid being lured into a van. Then I felt them reach in and seek to grab hold of something in my being, and didn't want them to take the gift I had been given from me, grew scared and lashed out. This made the trip unpleasant, and I tried to calm down and let them do their work. But each time they reached in to try to remove it, I grew scared and lashed out. I couldn't tell if their intentions were good, or if they had been trying to take the seed of life away from me.
Soon they gave up on this, and attempted to fill my head with ideas that reality was a hologram being projected from the machinery I saw in a telepathic sense, and it really seemed as though this could have been true, and that we were in a way all like people on meth wanking in the town square and not realizing it. But, as this sense of an operating room faded away.
I felt some kind of psychic attack lashing at me, as if punishing or trying to torture me for some perceived wrong. As far as I was concerned, whoever was doing it was no better than the fake religious serpents who murdered the ones who showed mercy at the foundation of the world.
Regardless, as the room faded away, and I returned to baseline perception, I was left with feelings of shame, fear, and guilt. As if someone had gotten be drunk to strip me naked in front of people. I began apologizing to God quietly, asking him to have mercy, and forgive me, and as this happened, I heard my mother's voice from the other side of the house start giving praise to God, and I felt something being pushed out of me, and began a retching vomiting motion several times, each time some part of the shame disappearing, and within the hour my mind returned to full sanity and the shame had died away.
I don't know what those surgeons were trying to do, but whatever it was, it didn't work. After this I hopped into the nexus chat to speak to others, wanting to tell the full story but not possessing the full focus to do so, so I figured I'd write up the report later on.
In regards to the machinery present in the operating room during the flickers:
The machinery I saw looked to be some sort of module of something attached to a wall next to a doorway, it was roughly rectangular in a verticlally longer orientation, but the edges were smooth and round. It possessed a specific incline at the top and narrowed a little at the bottom, it was shaped like this:
..........______...
..____/............\..
./.....................\
|.......................|
|.......................|
|.......................|
|.......................|
\......................./
.\...................../.
..\__________/..
It also had three cables coming out of it's left side, and attached to something round to the left, possibly a switch or button of some sort.
The machine was silver/pale/metal in color and material, the metal on the outside was clearly a shell of sorts and there was something else inside, but it felt like it was projecting an image at me, which I didn't enjoy at all. If I ever have this experience again and am able to move, I intend to break or turn off whatever it is, or at least inspect it to ascertain it's structure.
Curiously, the metal and lights on the machine (which were blue) resembled the style of technology of a species I invented as a kid on the playground at school, but this does not set my mind at ease yet. It most likely is just a coincidence though.
Has anyone else had an experience similar to this one or seen machinery of a similar make to the type I have described? If so, please do elaborate, I am curious to know if this is a common phenomenon.
-The Forest Child