Hello!
On this day I am 30 years old, have not taken a psychedelic since about 3 years ago, and am still searching for my greater purpose in life.
I grew up as a very faithful Christian, studying the teachings in the Bible diligently of my own accord. I maintained this up until a few years ago and still value much of what I learned about spirituality and morality. I started questioning much of what I learned in church vs. what I learned in my own studying and interpreting when I was in my mid-teens. In the midst of being devout, I took an interest in eastern spiritual practices and beliefs and also began experimenting quite enthusiastically with cannabis. My dad used to be somewhat of a hippie back in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, and he was a bit open with me about some of his experiences with LSD, mushrooms, and mescaline. That got me interested in psychedelics, along with my love for psychedelic rock like Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, and The Doors. I eventually got to experience mushrooms quite a few times in high school and onward, as well as some experimenting with MDMA. I eventually joined the military, deployed to Afghanistan without incident, and got honorably discharged after 4 years. I took up cannabis use again and searching for mushrooms which I eventually found for a short time. Around 26 I became interested in and found opportunities to experiment with DMT, which I immediately fell in love with. I’ve always been very connected and felt more at home with nature, including extreme wilderness environments of the desert variety. So I started working in wildland firefighting, where I am today. But I still hear something greater calling and I’ve began seeking it again. I’m currently reading and resonating with the books Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal and Meathuman by Deepak Chopra, which are raising my awareness and questioning of “reality” and Conciousness. I’ve always heard a calling from something higher, VERY high, but now more than ever I feel it is most important to prioritize seeking the source of the calling and myself.
My last experience with psychedelics was with psilocybin mushrooms at low dosage everyday for about 5 days. If I had to guess the dosage, probably right around 2 grams of dried fruit body. I didn’t feel good about the source I was getting the mushrooms from and also felt I didn’t “need” them anymore to reach the pleasant loving reality that I walked through while influenced by them. So I stopped seeking them. After a rough experience with a new friend and a low dosage of LSD in Joshua Tree, I also lost my source for DMT experiences, not being comfortable with the friendship anymore. It was a tough time in my life and now thinking back I think I should try to reconnect with him and cultivate a more meaningful friendship.
I have a strong draw to chemistry (seen to me as “grown-up legos”), and I am planning on turning my college education towards chemistry. I’m currently seeking my own place or somewhere that I can practice chemistry in a safe and comfortable environment. Finding this forum, all the knowledge contained within, and the community of mature, knowledgeable, and welcoming individuals is one of the most precious discoveries I feel I’ve made. I’m seeking full membership here in order to join and experience the community here intimately by cultivating new relationships (possibly discovering existing ones), contributing to the community with support, company, and experience, and to learn from others. I am already immensely thankful to all members who have already brought positivity, compassion, and knowledge to this space.
I will write up some of my old trip reports soon enough and contribute where I feel fitting when I can. This fire season has already been exceptionally busy, but I will surely be around here when the free time rolls back in its cycles.
Truly,
Peace and Love!