This might be my first introspective post since the past 11 years I have been part of this forum. SO I would like to begin by thanking all the helpful people and entities that have guided. I have had countless psychedelic experiences, mostly on LSD, less so on mushrooms and some on RCs. I have smoalked DMT/Changa a few dozen times and am yet to try Pharmahuasca. This report on pure harmala experience is part of my preperation for Pharma, but also a way of gaining familiarity with the Syrian Rue.
I have been interested in Syrian Rue for many years and have even procured seeds a few times, but not knowing what to do with them and with hesitations of dosing them they would lay idle. I must have had some smoked harmala experience with Changa, and smoking Caapi leaves by themselves but recently I have been more interested in their medicinal properties. Syrian Rue is readily available where I am geographically at the moment and thought the time was right to become familiar with this plant teacher.
With lots of help from friends in the chat, I began experimenting a little with some harmala extract I had procured. First i tried vaping with some hashish. 20mg brought on a pleasant buzz and body high. The next day I tried the sublingual route 30 mg and then redosed 20mg or so half an hour later. A similar pleasant buzz ensued which I could potentiate with vaping more. However, this felt like the tip of the ice-berg and I wanted to unlock this substance's full potential. So I decided to take a strong dose by making my own tea from whole Syrian Rue seeds.
I knew this would increase intensity, and might make me nauseous. But I was prepared for this. I had been smoking hashish in the evening about 250mg over a few hours. I read cannabis reduces nausea and the synergy felt nice the times before so I decided it was a good predose. I took 4.57 grams of whole rue seeds and boiled them with some apple vinegar and lemon juice in water for nearly an hour. Then I let this half a cup of tea cool down for a couple of hours while i set my intention to take it.
I must have gulped it down at 10:30 pm. It was a disgusting taste, the apple vinegar being the only redeeming quality says a lot. I chased it down with some carbonated lychee drink - which was also disgusting but helpped drown out the taste. I then made myself comfortable and waited for the effects to ensue.
About half an hour later, I felt a mild body buzz, and objects in my vision began to become blurry. I put on some Sun Ra, the album Lanquidity appeared to call out, as I was feeling languid myself. This was good listening choice. From my previous experiences and trip reports I knew music and sensorial stimulation wasn't a thing to be had on this experience. But this music felt just right and I lounged about listening to it. By the time the record was over I was in the thick of it.
A plant being had somehow integrated with my body and my mind. I was feeling the nausea more intensely now and I knew it was going to build up more because I could still feel myself coming up. I felt some telepathic signals, of the voice inside the head phenomenon. This voice seemed familiar from a strong changa experience I had in 2019 which was made out of Syrian Rue - so it makes sense in a way that the same spirit would be talking to me now. I got the urge to turn off the lights and lie down on my persian carpet straight on my back with my eyes closed. Now I began to get faint CEVs that weren't necessarily halucinations but were also not negligible. Most parts of this feeling were pleasant, except for the nausea and slight headache that attributed unpleasantness.
Lying still on the carpte the plant spirit told me to calm myself down, it was 'teaching' me to meditate. I felt a voice (that was not my own) tell me "Did you know you can medidtate lying straight on your back, just like you do sitting up straight?" At that point I knew I was in the presence of a being that was speaking to me from within me. In this state I saw more potent halucinations that were both sensorial and visual - imaginary. I felt my fingers taking root into the rug, looping on the other side and coming out as stems protruding in different directions. I felt more plant-like - as if the plant being had fully integrated with my own. Then from the inside of my thoughts and my body it was showing me things about myself.
In this state I felt as if I was in a therepy setting. I felt calm and neutral. Any problem or complication I would bring up would become disentangled into its parts. The plant being had infallible logic, it would break down complex problems and present them as simple choices and alternatives. It taught me to take responsibility for my decisions while making me realize that these decisions affect others and this affects how I feel. In this process I felt disentangled as well, and the signs of depression in my throat and anxiety in my chest I had carried around for years had begun to relieve.
At some point I got up from my lying down position. I realized the more I moved about the more nauseous I got. At this point I thought of hitting my vape which i reloaded with 50mg fresh hash. I hoped this would calm the nausea. I took a few drags from my wood VG and I could feel a stronger hit of hash than usual as the smoke lingered about. I felt it relieved the nausea a bit. At this point the entity asked me if I had dosed the rue to 'learn' or to 'get high' ... It was a good question and we joked about whether it was 'getting high to learn,' or 'learning about getting high' - I saw a more personable side of the spirit, that it had a sense of humor, a time worn humor that reflected ancient wisdom. In some ways it knew me better than I knew myself.
At one point I thought how everone on harmalas in the world at that point in time formed a collective unity that was oscilating at a particular frequency and bound by that spirit, and together we were a single interconnected plant being of consciousness traveling the universal coordinate of space time. I felt interconnected and one with these fellow travlers who were at the same time one with the spirit of the rue.
I got up thinking I should put on another record, I was thinking of Pink Floyd's Ummagumma, the live album side with Saucerful of Secrets and Set the Controls to the Heart of the Sun. I felt those sounds would be more amenable to the state I was in. I love listening to music on LSD and other psychedelics, but the Rue seemed to have different demands - either no music, or very subtle music... I was setting up the record on my turntable when I felt an intense wave of nausea. Something told me it was time to purge.
I ran to the toilet and leaned over the bowl and vomited out a glob of gold colored liquid - I could taste the components of the tea along with the disgusting taste of the seeds. I heaved but only a bit came out. I felt like there was some more concentrated in my belly but as I hadnt eaten anything and hardly drank water that it wouldnt come out on its own. After another glob I felt a bit better. I washed up, drank some water and retreated to lie down in bed. Probably the peak had passed by then, but the body load felt quite intense still. I needed to lie in bed absolutely still.
After a while I went back to the position on the carpet again. No sooner had I lied down I felt another nauseating rush coming on and I ran back to the toilet. This time lots of pale liquid came out, probably the water helpped to get things out. I felt immediately better.
I was lounging on the couch and now the CEVs were quite intense. I saw Perso-Arabic letters being formed in my field of vision as if being taught how to read. The visuals were of an earthy quality, dull dark hues with discernible outlines - almost approaching colors. I could see how this plant could potentiate DMT, and felt like a sister-substance. I could imagine what the mix must be like, and conetmplated trying it some time in the future.
A while after lying around on the couch, I felt the hold of the rue was not as strong, though I could still feel it. It felt like the tail of the trip (i hoped) and as I was thinking this I recall the spirit reached out and said something like "I have another appointment to go to" - I thought this was funny and signaled its sense of humor. I thanked it for all the thereputic insight and I knew I would meet it again. The effects of the tea lingered for a while and it took some lying down and watching absurd visuals (stars, turning to pointy leaves, turning to butterflies). After a while I felt like the grip of the harmalas was all but gone. I was still in a calm state, and alert. I wasn't able to sleep for a while. The next morning I could still feel lingering effects and lingering headache and nausea, but also a calmness that I hadn't felt in a long time.
I felt the powerful anti-depressant and thereputic effects well into the next few days. Unlike other experiences with psychedelics, the positive effects seemed more permanent, like I had learned emotionally something useful and that I could practice that learning and grow with it. So the experience has been a powerful one. I am happy to log this journey on this forum as it was with the guidance of fellow members that I was able to venture down this path in the first place. I hope that this report in turn helps someone contemplating such an experiment with Syrian Rue. My next goal is to prepare my own extract that I can experiment more with, and use it to potentiate other psychedelics, and ultimately prepare myself for a Pharma dose. Thank you for reading!