Hehe, glad you're better today!

LMFAO!!!

All the best to you Antrocles... you are a trooper.
Sounds like you have nearly reached the core of your self, and the pure source that connects everything..

As others have said already, you have been an inspiration here, reading your posts helped me make sense of my early journeys last year. Its an honor to be following your progress. We salute you.

ehrm...

Hope we won't have to crucify you.

Even if one waters a plant every day, there are periods of visual external growth, but also periods of internal growth, which we can't see.

As far as I can tell from my own experiences, all of these in between freaky trips are defense mechanisms of the ego.
It is afraid of spice. We are trying to murder it with every inhale of our precious sacrament, through which we come to realize we are God in a physical body.

As I progress in my own journey, I find myself needing more time in between to integrate and allow these internal changes to take effect.

I really need to make sure my ego is in check from the prior events of the day before a journey at night.
Even if I did something like eat candy that day, satisfied any craving of my ego, I have to work that much harder at the end of the day during my session.
I found I could avoid these harder sessions by being very aware of my ego based actions on days I partake in our sacrament.

This is the ultimate goal and lesson that spice teaches, to truly transcend the ego during all moments of life, and become God in physical form within reality.

This has kinda brought into perspctive my series of breathroughs and such over the last few months. They were all different and unique but now I see that there is an increasing ability in me to be present in the nonthingness. Whereas the first time I had (from here on in understand that there of course was no "I" in this perticular Breakthrough) fears tied to every aspect of my being including specific memories and specific things going on in my life flashing before my eyes before being destroyed in a mocking manner almost. I think that was the first lesson maybe that I learned that all this stuff I have accumulated in my life, my memories, my addictions, my failures and successes and even my love and hate are all meaningless.
A scary proposal to be confronted with in a matter of seconds no doubt (markedly increased by the strange fact that I too did not exist, death prematurely is how I always put it) but that never happened again and my dosages have increased and or been the same but the experiences since that first one much different.
My only limitation that I can see now is that all I can do is observe and can in no way communicate contact or hardly see what or who the fuck it is dancing around the ever changing laughing flashing multi-colored tiled rooms.
I also now realize that there is no beginning anymore with the mosaics and then into some sort of vortex or breathrough I just sort of end up there instantaniously....Much in the same way it ends...I remember on my last, a few days ago, I was trying so hard (knowing my time was soon to be up) to witness or realize the transition back. It didn't work. The moment I realized I was back it became painfully clear that I had missed the transition...like trying to be conscious of the moment you fall asleep.

Anyhow great report man....got me thinking about the progression of my DMT experiences and how they have changed so greatly.

I'm still pretty new to the forums, but I've read three of your reports now. It just hit me today, with this report, what a large burden that you are bearing for the sake of such an epic task. Thank you so much for your sacrifice. I'm not one for sending emotional support through the interwebs, but I'll try man.

antrocles, you might be the ONLY person in history to ever dive so deep. I don't think any of our heroes of the past have tripped daily on anything, let alone the most powerful psychedelic known to mankind. There are so many possibilities of what you can become and what you can share. Being the first person to take this path, there is no one who can tell you what you will find. Like you said, it won't be all peaches and cream... but I bet what you find will be more satisfying than anything this world has ever imagined.

Please continue to share your trips. Even if you aren't able to accurately express your trips to us, make sure you write your thoughts down after each trip so that you won't forget later. Eventually you'll need to share your journey with us, as a whole from start to finish. You'll need every scrap of memory you can find, on paper and in the mind, to do it accurately. It's great that you're taking audio-recordings of your trips too. Keep up your daily ritual for as long as you can, and then a little longer, and then make sure to share your discoveries with the world. Remember that if you don't share it, you and every one of us will be reincarnated into a world where the knowledge was discovered and then lost; there will be no change.

You truly are a warrior spirit. You walk the planes of understanding that you know will lead you to never before seen challenges. You know these challenges will be of a magnitude that has never before been overcome. Yet you continue.


With Love and Appreciation,

Kart

Dude I know exactly what you mean. Except I chose the oral route. Drinking everyday in succession turns you slightly loopy over time however so I had to discontinue.

It's interesting how there is the bliss and warmth, then a stage of work and the trip before or during you feel the most incredible fear deep from within and then suddenly, *THWACK*, you're annihilated by a new level of understanding and love that you didn't think could exist. If anything however that fear is the key catalyst that triggers that kind of experience.

etv- i agree completely. and strangely, the fear or confusion or funk seems to be more bearable the deeper you go because you know that it heralds the coming of this new geshtalt. each time you get to that place, it's important to meditate on what that place truly represents.

keeping an eye on the peak of the mountain, one can better endure the difficult foothill passes that present themselves...

L&G!!

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KA-TA-NA!!!!!




Cut through, cut through, cut through!!!