It is always waiting,
Deep inside the mind.
From birth it sits quietly,
waiting,
Waiting to gain control.

I did not know he was here,
frankly I had no idea at all.
I should have foreseen my fall.

He waits until the roots
of adulthood rise.
He then whispers, ever so softly,
Yet still I did not realize that he was there,
waiting, scheming.

I tried to heal myself,
with the green dragon.
His roar pushed back the roots,
But defeat only made the clouds more saturated.

He slowly poisened the dragon,
He was no longer usefull to me,
in fact, he had become a tool for him.

Subconsciously seeking something else,
frantic, afraid, angry.
Still I did not know he was there.

Floating on lysergic dreams,
kept me pre ocupied,
but he used this to his advantage.

Seeking enlightenment,
Dimitri calls, promising help.
Shows me a new self.
Inside me, he screams,
writhing in pain.

But he still comes back.
Now he tries to come out,
more and more he makes himself visible.

I begin to notice a different way of thinking.
So angry all the time, things are losing meening, urges to destroy.
Still, I ignore it, wrap him in tin foil.

Mother Ayahuasca,
She forced me to see him.
I know of his existance now,
I have seen him,
And I accepted him.

He smirks, he knows he is stronger,
But I did not let him win,
proposed a compromise instead.
We shall become one.

As he knows he is strong,
he readily agrees.

We are one now,
but he has influenced me to much.
The graph paper sitting on my floor,
has lost meening.
The text books,
no longer matter.

He has made me tired of this world,
He readily shows me how uncomplete my life is,
I agree with him, but right now,
I must just ride the wave called life,
change will come if I make it.

I find that now I struggle to find enjoyment,
In the things I once enjoyed.
I try to use entheogens to treat myself,
to help find realization,
But it is to late,
he influenced me to much,
and will continue to do so.

I am the wind,
sometimes strong and sometimes weak,
Pushing him, that is the rain clouds,
Except that the rain cloud has nowhere to go,
The wind can never be rid of him.
I can not be rid of him.
He huants me so.
We are one.