Hello everyone,
Over the course of a decade or so I have stumbled across this website and forum along with Erowid. I have been personally interested in psychedelics, plant medicine and the psychonaut way of life since I was in high school. Unfortunately for me, I chose a profession that has a zero tolerance drug rule that I have had to honor and abide by.

I have been exposed to very stressful and traumatic experiences while with my employer, and have attempted to deal with them without medical assistance or therapeutic aid. Mental Health has an unspoken stigma in my community, so I pressed on with my work an suppressed all my emotions and trauma while poorly using half-fast mindfulness techniques to keep me going, and I finally cracked.

I had read for years the life-changing experiences of others after they had their first exposure to the spirit molecule, it seemed larger than life and unrealistic. I read Dr. Strassmans book, went down YouTube holes and other accounts of people who seemed to be in my position being completely reset and back on track in their life. This seemed like an unconventional option that could help reinvigorate my love for self, my family and my future.

So here I am, starting my spiritual journey to learn from those that have gone before me to prepare me in advance of my first journey. Thank you all in advance.

Depending on where you live, there is a chance that you can acquire the plants needed for an ayahuasca / pharmahuasca trip perfectly legally. I'd say just go for it and tell no one, if you worry about getting into troubles.

Oh man. It sounds like you are surrounded by toxicity. Reading your feelings about your communities stigma about mental health reminds me of my own struggles and how the culture i grew up in did not support wellness either. So indirectly it promotes sickness. I too fell apart over many years until my life was completely in tatters. Psychedelics (5meoDMT, DMT and psilocybin) opened the door too for me, other modalities motivated and supported me to go through and journey towards being better. Be better, that’s all we can do.

I’m glad for you that you see that where you are isn’t good for you and that you are looking into ways to be well. There’s lots of support here for folks in similar situations. I think the vast majority of us here are trying to improve ourselves, our communities and the world writ large in the process. There’s the occasional selfish person but most of us are ok folks and we deal with impolite folks quickly. Feel free to look around, the Health and Advice for Healing sub has a lot of good info. Until you are promoted you can’t post there, but if you want to interact, start your own thread end point back to anything that interested you.

Peace, welcome and BGTY- Be good to you!