Hi. Excuse my English in certain sentences.

Gender: Male, 20-29 years
Substance: DMT (ayahuasca)
Dose: Approx. 0.75 liters divided into three batches
Previous experience: Only alcohol
Participants: Me, 'Bobby', 'Fredrik', 'Robert', 'Mary'
Date 26 / 5-15
Location: Hotel Room, United States.

Summary: Very potent substance whose trip is almost exclusively strongly positive, without a hangover and often very easily affected by the immediate environment. The trip includes a large number of different experiences which can not all be remembered.

Background: My friend Bobby in the states who has long been passionated with ayahuasca, its positive effects and often life-changing experience. He has talked at length and in detail about how you can get a new, deeper view of the world, be free from depression and otherwise change your life. I decided to try.

Dose 1 c: a 17.15:

Bobby picked me and Fredrik up from the hotel at 16 in the afternoon. We had then been to a fantastically nice Irish pub here in the sunny and palm-dense state. The light blonde lady who was the waitress had called me honey every time we ordered something; Yes, honey, right away. No problem honey, we’ll take care of it ”. Everything was nice and relaxed.

Because I wanted to do what I could to maximize the effect of DMT in the evening, I had not eaten any since breakfast and then only one (large) meal of fruit. The system should be as clean as possible so that nothing interferes with the experience. Fruit consists mostly of water that I peed out in batches in the early afternoon. Ayahuasca is called "La purga" where the sessions are traditionally held in South America, which translates to "The purge" or "vomit". Fasting before was also to avoid getting food if I would vomit.

So Bobby picked us up outside the pub just after four. His first question was, "Hey, have you guys been drinking?" No, we just had some mineral water ”“ Good, because that wouldn’t have been a good idea if you were going to drink the tea ”. Bobby drove us to another hotel room nearby that Robert and Mary had rented just in time.

Once inside the room, we sat and talked about what our expectations were for this trip and what we wanted to achieve with it. I said that I want to find inner peace and see myself as when I was little in the playground, beyond all the demands, expectations and attitudes one puts on oneself to "cope" with adult life. "We can probably fix that," says Bobby. I also said that if it is necessary for me to go into a darkness and see hell in order to find peace and insights about life on the other side, then I am prepared for that as well. Like probably many others, I had tried to find all the negative information about 'tea', as we call it. I was looking for the most horrible effects that people had experienced and scared me to the point that I asked Bobby if he had any rope at home to tie me in if I would get myself to do something stupid. Bobby explained that only in two cases out of the 80 sessions he had had the person partially experienced something that can be labeled as negative. He also assured me that no matter what happens, I will be myself again just a few hours later in the evening.

After some small talk, Robert and Mary and I took the first dose. Bobby would be our 'shaman' / coach through it all, Fredrik decided to observe me instead during the evening. The time now is 17.15.

The first dose consists of two parts: First a dose of 1 dl. tea of ​​one plant containing an MAO inhibitor and a quarter later 1 dl. tea of ​​the other plant which contains the substance DMT itself. This means that the enzymes that break down the active substance cannot do their job before the effect kicks in.

Now I get the first cup of tea. It is recommended to hold my nose when drinking, when I rinse it down with a sip of water and when I take a small piece of banana to get rid of the taste. It was not that dangerous. The taste was completely gone immediately and there was only a little sweet banana taste left in the mouth. However, I felt how strong the tea was; Like a cup of unripe sour tangerines in drink form. It is not something you drink for the taste, but certainly not as dangerous as your reputation and without any aftertaste in this case.

I now report immediately after the first cup that I feel a little warmth in my face and a subtle anxious feeling in my stomach. However, I'm not sure if the heat is coming from the tea or because I'm nervous.

Fifteen to twenty minutes go by. Now it's time for the second part which contains the substance itself. Me, Bobby and Fredrik go into the second bedroom. Fredrik and I each take a bed while Bobby sits at the desk and connects the phone to his portable stereo. It feels safe to have two unaffected people nearby who can support me. Anything can happen. 1 dl. more tea goes down without a problem and I lean against the edge of the bed and look ahead. The time now is 17.45. In about an hour, the effect of the first dose should kick in. Bobby plays a casual lullaby. He recommends that we sit completely silent, close our eyes and just take in what is happening.

Time is running out. Nothing special happens, I think. In any case, not something that is abnormal. It's a little uneasy in my stomach but so little that I forget it most of the time.

Various different sounds come and go in the total silence in the room. Someone rakes a little short. A page is turned in a newspaper. A car hums far away. Someone outside the hotel room is walking in the hallway. The cooling starts the cooling. First a little subtle, then it beeps softly and drawn out to become completely silent again. The air conditioning hums softly. A crow starts to croak for a second. Then quiet. The process begins again. Car far away, someone goes outside, the fridge starts, the air conditioning hums. Silence again.

Now the faint dark hum comes from the air conditioning again. I note that it is my favorite sound. It is reminiscent of monks in a monastery who want to sing in their dullest voice. Turning a page in the newspaper is not my favorite. Not even when the fridge starts and shuts down. Sometimes a white light flickers slightly in front of the eyes.

The crow crows outside. I giggle. It's here to fool around, I think. Fredrik turns a page in the newspaper. That sound does not help me. Should I tell him it annoys me? No, it would be absurd to ask someone to stop turning the page, haha. I giggle again inside. Most of what happens is a little fun. Someone is walking outside. Why do they make so much noise when they pass by? They're crazy. I chuckle quietly in my mind. Now Bobby clears his throat again.

In silence, most sounds that occur are a little funny. The monks hum softly in the background. I do not feel high but it is still nice to sit here and breathe in the atmosphere.

Small indistinct images of trolls and witches come to me. Who said they are not allowed to be there, I think? They can look the way they want. The pictures are so weak that they just would not have needed to be there.

Now someone goes outside again. It is with large clinging, trailing steps. But god so she sounds I think, what is she doing out there? Lol. This must be for real because it sounds real. I stop thinking about it and wait for something else instead.

"Nothing happens," I say. The time is now around 19.00. "Let's give it another fifteen minutes," says Bobby.


Dose 2 c: a 19.15:

Bottom up for a new dose of DMT. Bobby pours another 1-1.5 dl. in the paper cup. It will probably work in another 30-60 minutes. I ask Bobby to pull out the fridge.

I'll wait a little while. Maybe ten minutes. Then something happens. Bobby puts on another lullaby. It's really good. I go to the toilet and adjust the volume a couple of times so it becomes absolutely perfect. It is important for the vibrations to go in the right direction.

I lie on my stomach under the covers. The small irritation in the stomach feels better when the stomach gets pressure and heat. I built a wall around the head of three pillows and the blanket above the pillows. Now I'm lying in my own little bed canopy and everything feels safe here.

It is extra cozy as it has not gotten dark yet and the white canopy becomes light baby blue under the duvet. For a while it has felt uncomfortable no matter how much I have put my head and arms in bed. Now, however, the mattress begins to soften properly. The quilt becomes softer and it feels as if the whole body is lying on a bed of fluffy cotton.

I really enjoy lying in my comfortable hut to calm tones. Each instrument in the song sounds a little clearer and a little more separate from the other instruments. It is as if the instruments in the song are divided into compartments and I can hear them clearly separated from each other but still in harmony.

So this is how music really sounds, I think. So most things are masterpieces; I just have not heard it before.

I get orgasm in the prostate and in the legs. The feeling is not quite as strong as when you have sex but it is definitely an orgasm and it does not want to end. Orgasm spreads to virtually the entire lower part of the body with an epicenter in the stern whose sensation radiates to the legs and feet.

The feeling and softness linger. I see rainbows and UV light when I close my eyes. Black glittering granite slabs assembled with crystal glass that shines in the entire color spectrum. Purple, green and pink candles that mix with my crystals. A landscape with green hills and orange twilight is played out before your eyes. The streaks of color, the glass and the blacklight candles mix with the heavenly mattresses of the bed and orgasm lingers throughout the lower body. I imagine a ceiling lamp consisting of glass that extends over the entire room and shines up as when the sun reflects on the sea surface. Brand new fantastic interior design ideas emerge. I think this is an experience I could not have imagined that life can give me. An additional dimension.

These emotions, with just the right intensity, last around 10-15 minutes.

New lullabies are coming on. But they are not as good or well made as the previous ones. They are a little more boring and the one who sings, sings over the instruments a little too much. Orgasm subsides but remains to a small extent. The interior becomes grayer and sadder, like a medieval castle. I notice that the effect is fading, or that the new slightly worse songs pull me away and make me 'sober'. It has now been half an hour since the second dose and I ask for more tea. It is apparently too early, it is said.

Just before 20, there is only a weak physical feeling of well-being left and the stomach becomes a little more anxious again. But I do not care.

Dose 3 c: a 20.00:

I'm getting happier and happier. Having my eyes closed all the time. I lie squinting like a sleeping baby getting tickled. I worry that it will look strange and put a pillow to the left of my head so that Fredrik and Bobby will not see what I look like.

I smile and smile and smile. The smile itself decides that it wants to be more intense. It feels like I have been in this state for a very long time and that the others will get bored of being present. The pillow falls off and I tell Fredrik that it probably looks strange but that "I'm in the middle of a thing" and that "This will take time".

I lay down on the pillow again. Now I continue to follow the will of the body. The fingers want to move slowly up and down like waves on a sea. The smile gets stronger and stronger. I'm getting happier and happier. There are no problems in the world. It feels completely natural that the mouth pores are up to max. It is as natural as breathing. The feeling of well-being becomes more intense. Trying not to smile would be as unnatural as pretending to smile when you are not happy.

The music thickens. Now there will be a long stretch with only natural sounds. Water, rain, thunder, birds and other animals that sound calm and pleasant. I am in the colorful and bright Amazon. The sounds become like layers in a 3D movie in my mind. I can see the thoughts in front of me coming and going in a calm rhythm. The jungle thickens while the music flows. As soon as I try to think for myself or focus on something other than the experience, I feel a little dizzy and distracted. I decided to stop thinking and let all experiences come to me instead.

I am beyond space and time. Being buried alive in a coffin does not matter. I am in the world's best rainforest where all thoughts, sounds and images flow in harmony.

Now the body wants to move more as well. The fingers and legs begin to move gently and gently back and forth as in an Indian seductive dance. DMT is my flute and the body responds to every note that is played. I could stop with the intense smile and body movements at any time, but it would have been as unnatural as holding my breath. The body has been given clear instructions: It wants to move.

I need to go to the bathroom. I tell Fredrik again that it certainly looks strange but that it is not seizures. The body just wants to move and Fredrik does not have to worry about me. I will certainly move even more when I return and that I now want to do this fully. On the way to the toilet, it seems that there have been more colors in the room. Red, green, white and blue. An exotic mini-disco in here.

Back in bed. Fredrik asks if I'm fine. Now I lie on my back with the blanket over my head and close my eyes. I follow the body again and forget the outside world. The ecstatic smile returns, arms and legs move back and forth. Fantastic patterns play themselves out in front of your eyes. The patterns are very clear throughout the color spectrum. They change every ten seconds to completely new fractal patterns. This seems to last for an eternity, a wonderful eternity. Think that the brain can produce so incredibly detailed information in no time at all.

The patterns or landscapes are fully visualized with depth and movement. There are fractal landscapes in the background and other landscapes at different distances, some right in front of your eyes. Hundreds of different images are played. All with about thirty colors and varying layouts. I am in another dimension, on another planet, in another universe. The landscapes in the foreground are rolled up and spread out into space. It's like falling into a black hole or watching the "Stargate sequence" in 2001: A Space Odyssey, but more magical than I've ever seen. This seems to last for 20-30 minutes.

I notice that for some reason I want to go to the toilet. I do not seem to need to pee and I do not feel ready to vomit either. I'll wait a little longer. I get up calmly and quietly and get a little dizzy. As soon as I enter the fully tiled white bathroom and lock the door, everything comes up from my stomach immediately. I get very dizzy and my whole body contracts to get everything out. When I lie with my head on the toilet and it spins, I think that I never want to do this again. The feeling is almost completely identical to when you have drunk too much alcohol.

This surprisingly lasts only a couple of minutes before everything feels much better. Everything seems to have come out of the body and the dizziness has disappeared. All that remains is the incredibly relaxed body feeling and the increased awareness. I look around for a few seconds in the semi-dark bathroom. The tile has got speed stripes in green and red. "God how awesome", I think. "So this is how it is to be high." Think that vision can be affected so absurdly by a substance like this. Now I understand how the members of the Beatles must have felt when they took drugs, I think.

I think I feel very good here in the bathroom and want to continue the journey in peace. However, I get worried that Fredrik or Bobby will knock on the door and disturb me in the experience, so it's probably best to go back to the bedroom. Outside I hear them say "He seems to have liked it" even though I went and vomited. Fredrik sees me and asks if I'm fine. "Yeah… Please… .." was the answer. He takes the wave and falls silent. I say that I will now do this fully, that it will certainly look very strange, but then it will have to do it. Under the covers I hear the answer "Just do what feels good".

The patterns continue and the smile turns into a total opening of the mouth. The chin is so far down that it is almost in contact with the neck. You could almost push down a whole log of wood if you tried. It almost sounds like I am snoring when I breathe, which is more difficult in this position. I get exercise pain in my jaw but it's comfortable to let my face live freely so I do not think I need to stop. The whole body is flexible, soft as a dough and I almost flow together with the comfortable cotton blanket. The visual patterns have subsided and now only the feeling of well-being is left. The stomach is also completely calm. There's nothing in it, but I'm not a bit hungry. It must look like Linda Blair in The Exorcist when I lie down and crawl. Bobby notices this, raises the volume and sings along to the hymns.

The legs and arms want to move even more apparently. The legs go up, up against the sky! Frequent paddling is started which gets higher up in the air over time. I need to get even higher. The legs, abdomen and lower back go up to the ceiling. I almost stand on my shoulders against the edge of the bed. If I had been able to fly up in the sky in an upside-down state, it would have happened. Now instead stands a ghost covered with a blanket with his feet against the ceiling and his head in the pillow. This was exactly what was needed.

It takes about a quarter of an hour. The movements are now calming down. Now I lie instead and yawn completely again. My eyes are opened as much as possible and I just feel good and feel completely normal. It feels like it's two o'clock at night. I assure my company that there are about twenty minutes left in the experience. Very true, twenty minutes later everything has calmed down so much that I lie completely still and philosophize a little before I sit on the edge of the bed. The time is only 21.40.

"R ------, you bedwrecker!" Exclaims Bobby. "If you have any questions, now is the time to ask". We sit and chat for a while. Then Bobby goes and looks at them in the first bedroom. Mary had not had a good experience, but she was fine now. Robert was apparently very pleased. We then left as if nothing had happened. The next day Fredrik and I went to the bar as we were the day before. Orgasm remained all day too and every time I would concentrate on throwing a dart I had to make a sound of pleasure. After a few beers, I started to feel like I wanted to move more. I laughed and told Fredrik that it probably looks very strange but I can say that I have Parkinson's if anyone asks.

Overall, it was not a life-changing experience so far. But still an experience I would not want to be without. It has shown me a new dimension of life and the feelings of well-being were very welcome. It became clear to me during the session that I do not see DMT as a drug, but a substance that is naturally present in the body but in a much smaller amount. I was completely clear in my head the whole time. Still, it was impossible to retell all the details. Trying to focus on something other than what is happening is the only thing that can interfere. Vomiting feels natural during the session and is not something I will attach any importance to in the future. I recommend ayahuasca to anyone who can get hold of an experienced practitioner before you can feel confident doing it on your own.