I think all the suggestions are great. Hereâs some of the things Iâve been focusing energy on as my wellness practice that have been really working well for me:
1. FIRST AND FOREMOST-
SUPPORT, SUPPORT, SUPPORT!!! In the absence of a good social network IRL, I began building a network of professionals to support me in my healing. This includes a trauma-informed therapist who I chose for the techniques she uses, a magician of an acupuncturist who gives me lessons in Tao during our sessions, and a chiropractor to address ongoing pain issues. Every week I take a self care day to see one of these on a rotating basis.
2. Social Support- probably the biggest consequence of my trauma has been to cost me the ability to connect with others and as I engage the work, I have made efforts to reach out to people from my past who are doing things I admire and with whom Iâd like to connect and exploring options to socialize by going out more often.
3 Reconnecting with my spiritual background. Every morning I begin the day with a passage from the Tao Te Ching, I Ching and a three card tarot pull. This gives me time in the morning to center myself, and I take a few minute to ponder. Through the day they will return to me as I face the challenges the day brings.
4. Eating well. This is individual nobody needs the same diet and I am actively trying to gain weight while changing up my diet from meat based to one with more variety.
5. Staying focused on the small steps I take to get to the places I want to be rather than be attached to a particular outcome. This change in thinking has been huge for me. After this year when my need to control outcomes that are impossible to control literally almost killed me, I just had to let go. I find that this paradigm shift does anything but give me less control- in reality it keeps me focused on all the little things I do along the way. As my acupuncturist says, to cross the street, first the universe must be created.
6. Knowing that Iâm the master of my journey. Just that. I know myself, better than anyone, and I know whatâs good for me and not so good for me. So learning to listen to a voice that unfortunately learned not to be the loudest one in the room. Or, screw the haters to be simpler.
7. Let things be good. Easier said than done. The universe does indeed provide. In fact that is literally all it does. For us poor saps it gives us exactly what we want and need. Finding that alignment is the hard work, to wanting what I want, IYKWIM. You know that be careful what you ask for stuff. If you really are in tune with what you want deep down, no need to be careful, shout that intention without fear that it will bite you in the ass. Just gotta love yourself first, thatâs the rub.
I recently started engaging in the trauma work that Iâve either neglected or not has the resources to pursue for all of my adult life. I know this is particular to me and Iâve catered my practice to what works for me.
As for the trauma work, besides my therapist, the things that are helping the most is doing work around and with Non Violent Communication as taught by Marshall Rosenberg. I absolutely love this stuff. It is so much more than being able to resolve conflict. The real task involved is to learn emotional fluency and agility. As a traumatized person, emotions are what I sought to avoid for a very long time. Learning how to name my feelings is huge for me.
Ask if this is just the present state of an ongoing process of just trying to be the best me I can be. By keeping that idea in my attention I hope to be able to have what I want, namely peace, ease and stability and all the things that support that. This past year has been probably the greatest teacher of my life and it took me awhile to become a willing student, but Iâm hoping that Iâm getting what time, the universe and experience within them are trying really hard to teach me- to accept the love that all of those things offer and stop fighting it.
Hereâs to cautious optimism.
To be merciful in my long windedness, Iâm all about the axioms, and Iâve added two to my list recently:
TLDR:
âIt could be worseâ. This isnât really an axiom, itâs more of a mantra. It works, try it. It can deliver me from some serious cases of âF this Sâ to deliver me into a place of gratitude.
âNon Servium in Ministeriumâ Google translate it, I did. âServe under none, in service to allâ is what it means to me. A modification of Discordian dogma.
Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon
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