After 50 years of alcohol almost every day.

I don't keep a running ticker.
I happened to see or hear someone mention their number of days. 1000 seemed non-trivial to me, so I plotted that out from the day I had enough, and here I am.

I can remember when my age was in the 30s, "I'll stop drinking on my 40th birthday."

So then in my 40s, "I'll stop on my 50th birthday."

Same for my 50s. Same result. So, no more resolutions.

A thousand days ago, I had too much fun one night, (no event, no catharsis, just alcohol) woke up, and said "That is enough."

Maybe I'm alcoholic, if that word even truly has meaning any more.

I easily could take a quiz and fit myself into a Drinking Disorder.

I don't think it matters, putting a label on it. But I try to face that question, and if one of those shoes fits, I'll wear it with as much dignity as I can muster.

But now I'm an old man.
Socially, it is different now. At the end of a day's shared experience, at a social gathering, dinner, whatever.
Friends and family are all good with me and good for me.
But it's not the same.
For me, it is better.
For my social circle, it can be confusing, but in time, my change is accepted more and more.
It is a life/lifestyle that I lived, in a society/culture that promotes it.

Plant medicines encouraged and continue to encourage my changed behavior.
I'm grateful for mushrooms, dimethyl tryptamine, Caapi, rue, and my new experiences with cactus.

It's only so many times I can go over these things with my wonderful bride, she's so supportive.
And it's not really a bright, engaging, fun topic at parties.

So, I know there are folks here at the nexus who understand and don't mind me saying these things.

So I'm sharing.

That's it.

That's my story.

And a beautiful story it was. I'm honored to bear witness to you and your success my friend.



One love

great to hear! good work!
i am curious, if you don't mind sharing, what happened on the night a thousand days ago that triggered the change?

Hey Voidmatrix, thanks. Though I'm not certain there's much to honor in what I've done. But I'm grateful for your comments.

Pedro, it was just another of many many many nights of too much fun, too much alcohol, too much not-remembered.
And I got up that morning after, sitting drinking my coffee, and I realized, "That is enough". I wish there was some cathartic moment I could point to, and share with you.
About a year ago, my doctor was expressing his pleasure as he noted improvements in my blood work, particularly my liver numbers (about a year and a half without alcohol at that point) but he pointed out other numbers that are likely related.
When I told him of my behavioral change, obviously he's happy, and he asked your question.
I answered him the same way, and said I don't really know.

He offered simply - "It appears you are evolving."

He's generous that way. He knows of and encourages my use of plant medicines. He says their effects likely support my capacity to alter my behavior and sustain the change. But neither of us knows for sure.

So that's what I have - "I finally got enough".

Thanks again. For everything.

My friend, I think evolving, gaining more self control, and harnessing ourselves in various ways is something to be honored.



One love

P.s. And now, I owe you thanks, because in typing this, I realized I am a hypocrite in not celebrating these things in myself!

That's nearly three years. That's a big goddamn deal. Good for you, congratulations.

For me, drink is just as harmful and dangerous as any hard drug. My recovery from these substances includes recovery from alcohol. Again, like with most positive changes in my life, plant psychedelics have been helpful and positive.

Sometimes when I'm eating tacos I get thirsty, my drink was freezer cold Cuervo Gold with a plate of lime chunks and salt for after bites. I certainly eat less tacos than I used to since I quit drinking.

Thanks, Tony.

Yeah, those associations... I'm not going to bore you with mine, but I promise, I know what you mean...

Congratulations!! I'm coming up on a year sober myself. Not sure the exact day... I could look it up, but oddly enough, I kind of don't want to. Maybe in a few more months.

Here's to the next thousand days!

Congratulations man. No chemical in this world could ever replace the joy of being in charge of your own life.

Thanks for all the nice words.
I'm very grateful.

thank you for sharing.
teacher plants can do wonderful things! <3
it was a similar experience for me when i quit. it has been a lot less than a thousand days for me, maybe a third of that, but i just quit one day, couldn't tell you why, i just decided that was it, after a 15-20 year daily habit.
i feel strongly that teacher plants are responsible, despite me not intentionally using them for that purpose. i did a lot of psychedelics in my younger days, but then my use dropped to maybe once every 1-2 years (maybe twice a year at peak) and my drinking slowly got out of control. i spent a lot of time thinking about the "enlightenment" i experienced with psychedelics in my youth, so one day i decided to revisit psychedelics from a more shamanistic perspective. about a year into my new found spark with psychedelics is when i just stopped. i felt like i didn't need it any more. deep down i knew i was using it as an escape, but now i didn't need that escape, i can't really put my finger on what happened though.

thanks for sharing your story

Well done, Sunnyside - Such an amazing achievement! It is wonderful how from one moment to the next a decision is made and there is no going back. I can relate to that. Thanks for sharing your story.

Stories like the ones here really kind of choke me up. This thing is so important to me, what these plants cause us to remember-because I think that is really what they are doing-is so valuable and intrinsic to human life and supports it in such a way as to just set us on a path to wellness sometimes whether we want that or not.

Man, when I came to this forum it seemed the idea of the psychedelic experience emerging into a zeitgeist would be a slow gradual process initiated through MAP’’s MDMA studies. And then psilocybin just busted through the BS and into the scene like nobody’s business. Now the talk is how to use, not whether to do so or not. Addiction recovery with the use of psychedelics is getting ALOT of attention. And it’s about time.

The old paradigm of abstinence is just wrong and doesn’t apply to the world we live in. It never really did. It is a non inclusive philosophy based on negative reinforcement and has nothing to do with supporting what is alive in a person, arguably only in memorializing what’s dead in them.

I give massive props to you sunnyside and everyone else with similar stories in this thread. They echo mine in so many ways. Different substance but similar years spent engaging in my numbing strategies and time engaging life without the drug ones at least. We are doing this.

My current writing projects include a talk on a new paradigm of meeting the issues of addiction that is Inclusive, based in the normalization of drug use and harm reduction and that meets the individuals where they are at and helps them get where they as individuals want to be. I look at the treatment industry with such dismay but really hope that very soon it can be something I can be employed in and maintain my integrity.

Good f*****g job everyone.

Huge Sunnyside! I passed 13 years last spring. Not being hungover, wondering who i need to apologize to or desiring to stay numb so as not to feel my despair for me opened so many doors. Behaviorly for me DMT shows up. The "negative entities" many see as something outside of us are truly a mirror, at least I understand them as such. My best work with plant medicines is when I am doing my work and dealing with the difficult life shit without checking out.

Null24 i understand where you are coming from. I hit a point where i began to discuss and decompartmentalize my personal processes with my closet recovery brothers. I expected shame and misunderstanding and received the opposite!

I take care however not to promote any mood or mind altering substances to those just clean. I feel like some need that time of clarity and purification of the nervous system. Some are polydrug abusers (I was a long time ago) already abusing the sacraments. Some may just say F it and go for a full on relapse and die out of shame that "they used". I have seen that, i just lost a beautiful person i used to sponsor to an overdose a couple months ago.

But if they have found a meditation practice, have a strong connection with other people doing their work and are in their work, by hiding these processes it is a disservice. I see that in my recent loss. He wasn't ready yet but I had hoped he would make it. His real poison was a relationship with a toxic woman he had a child with. Drugs were just a symptom.

I see the need for people who do integration work to enter the recovery spaces for those who choose to work with these healing practices. Bill W felt the same. He was shunned for that opinion.

Speaking as a reformed alcohol/opiate/GABA-anything problem user - cleaned up by way of plant medicines (iboga) - I just want to congratulate you...

Here's to your first 1,000!!!

I'm very grateful for all of the kind words and support.


Indeed.

Here's to life!

Congratulations! I too have been free of the grip of Alcohol since October 23rd 2018. I've been off PCP since January 2018 (actually 2017 but I relapsed in 2018, bought a cup, smoked it while driving, "Duke's of Hazard'd my wife's sister's 2000 Ford Expedition over an off and on ramp 30 feet in the air into a ditch where it folded the vehicle in half and broke my left radius in 2 places requiring a plate and 6 screws. There was a 500 pound piece of granite in the back that bent the back seat in half and would have taken my head off had it hit me, I woke up in the hospital and there were no cops around so I had my wife come get me, they charged me with a DUI 9 months later. I graduated drug (technically DUI court) in May) and Opiates July 16th 2019. I've been on Subutex forever and am down to 1mg a day for 4 more days then I will be on .5 then .25 then .13 then I'm done. I hate Subutex.

Quitting drinking wasn't easy and getting sober was one of the toughest things I've ever done. I actively work a program of recover and my life has improved immensely as a result. I am just getting over Omicron I came down with on January 2nd. I've been dealing with a depressive episode last few weeks and I tried a treatment last Sunday that didn't take. I am going to try again tomorrow, my DMT breakthrough technique has gotten a bit lazy lately so I'm going to make sure I do it correctly tomorrow no matter how uncomfortable I feel.

If you ever need anyone to talk to about addiction and recovery I'm always open. Feel.free to send me a PM.

Giving up drinking turned out to be one of the best choices I have ever made as well.

Congratulation !!!

Which plant medicine do you think was more useful for quit alcohol?

I heard that a lot of people quit buzz after some wachuma experiences..

Hi, thank you.
I don't know that any one medicine was most useful.

Today, I might say one medicine.
Tomorrow, I might say something different.
(I thought about it. Today, my response would be LSD, the only medicine that has (now) been with me longer than alcohol).

For me, personally, I just one day said to myself -
"That is enough. I don't want or need any more alcohol".

There are so many good posts here, and supportive.
I'm so grateful.

I have asked myself many times, why did I even post this here?
It is not like me to talk about things very much.

But when I posted, and now, as I revisit this thread, I answer my question the same way.

Alcohol was with me for 50 years.
Fifty years.

I don't care if you/anyone are with alcohol or not. I want you/anyone to be happy.

But if you don't wish to be with alcohol, I encourage you to make the efforts, and end the relationship sooner, rather than later.

Thanks, everyone.