PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: relatively low anxiety, some life stuff in limbo but optimistic
(physical condition) Set: healthy, late night tired
Setting (location): home sitting on my bed
time of day: midnight, overcast/rain coming, full moon
recent drug use: 700mg kratom (my norm), caffeine, nicotine vape
last meal: microwave PF Chang's, 30 minutes prior

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (m)
body weight: (76kg)
known sensitivities:
history of use: one previous breakthrough, many evenings spending time with changa

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): changa (1:1:2) dmt:haramalas:herbs[blue lotus, mint, a few others commonly used] and then white DMT freebase
Dose(s): unsure of changa amount (there was little clearance between top of changa and the ceramic top piece on GVG when installed), 20mg pure DMT
Method of administration: changa in GVG, pure DMT via e-mesh


EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00 built up with changa over 45 minutes maybe more, then e-mesh
Duration: 2 hours
First effects: usual visuals and feeling cold
Peak: T=1:00-1:45
Come down: 1:45-2:15
Baseline: 2:15

Intensity (overall): 4
Evaluation / notes: feeling cold has been more prevalent when hitting the changa, but I got past this obstacle (see below)

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (4)
Unplesantness: (0)
Visual Intensity: (4)
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AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 4 ; growth like I endured intense training, feeling of metamorphosis ; glow is still lingering 90 minutes later


REPORT
It seems that feeling cold when first hitting the changa is a stronger side effect now than when I started DMT relationship months ago; I expect it and just make sure I'm wearing a hoodie and have blankets, etc.

This time though, instead of laying back like I usually would, as I got cold I hunched forward clenching the warm pipe and repeatedly hit it to keep going as this time I did not feel the coldness was a sign to back down. I shivered and eventually let the shivering become part of DMT vibrations.

I was listening to track from youtube, "most powerful 0.1hz delta waves meditation music: dmt spiritual binaural beats meditation", and I believe this escalated the experience (luckily in a good way)

Maybe 30 minutes in the shivering subsided and I had trouble holding pipe but I kept taking bigger hits. I like the changa to ease in, and have been wanting to hit the e-mesh (I loaded probably 2 months ago now) but basically didn't have balls or feel crazy enough to do so before tonight.

This time I kept wanting to go a little deeper, I experienced the "lack of oxygen" feeling but as I observed my breathing was good, all of the fears subsided, and I just wanted to go deeper.
Eventually I wasn't getting anything more from changa in GVG. I fumbled around with my eyes still shut, to get the e-mesh rig in my hands, still soaking in the visuals. I opened my eyes, and paused for maybe a second, noting how watery my eyes were from looking so intensely at visuals, and then hit the e-mesh.

My trips don't really seem to line up with Terence McKenna's description. No dome, STEMs, jeweled self dribbling basket balls etc. I'm feeling like an oddball in something already esoteric, but there's beauty, energy, healing, teaching, growth in most profound sense. It's hard to say what I can't remember....

There was a lot of looking inward but in a playful multi vantage point beautiful journey. It felt like years of life experiences were gained, and while I cannot recall the details, I know it instilled massive confidence in me all over the map.

Considering how much time went by, I was very grateful that it only momentarily got slightly dark but somehow I found humor there and it moved on.

As I was coming back to "my" body in this world, I was concerned I drew attention from neighbors somehow, because it's hard to accept something so intense could be confined between my ears.

I'm wore out but feel like I got a jolt of "live life to the fullest" and a deeper sense that the odd projects I have and work on are forms of artwork to a bigger canvas. Essentially I feel driven, and an even stronger conviction to lead by loving deeply.

That was by far the longest I've stayed "on" with DMT. After I digest this one a little, I think I'll try again.

After getting some sleep, there's some more I remember and want to share. Firstly, I woke up with a hangover of sorts for first time, I think from the shivering and eyes strained looking so much and honestly, I imagine the brain itself has to strain processing so much? It's mostly just a headache, on the other hand I feel sort of on top of the world.

First thing to note, is that there's another side effect when I start with the changa besides feeling cold: an obligatory burp after first hit or two. It happens every time, and there's a distinct flavor to it whether I drank or ate something recently or not. It's always one burp; no more, no less.

After getting sleep, I do remember at least one entity, I guess could be a machine elf, mostly made of laser blue outline. It was just before I hit the e-mesh. I have a feeling there were many more after this with vast complexity that were just too much for me to maintain in memory and report back.

Another thing, and I've seen this reported before in a different way, as I got deep in it there was almost like a treaty I was actively signing in which I am not allowed to talk about some of the things I was being shown (more like experience being given, analogous to Neo downloading kung fu - only I don't have any badass new tangible skillset to show anyone).

It's funny to me how much of Terence McKenna I listen to, that's about losing your ego, but the more I do this it feels kind of opposite for me. I guess there is a part in there, whether DMT or psilocybin, that I am removed from this world so don't have my body, but tbh I feel more like I'm obtaining and solidifying who I am and therefore increasing my ego. I can't tell if it's my misunderstanding of ego or if the experiences are just that different for me.

As I was coming down and reacclimating to my body and this world, even though I had the volume set pretty low for that youtube track, it felt intense and I could not find remote control and resorted to crawling to the receiver - this took many minutes, not for clumsiness sake, but because the trip kept going when I closed my eyes, and maybe because I wanted it to. I'm pretty sure the audio prolonged the experience. Even once I turned volume down to almost nothing, I still was resonating with it.

The beauty that is felt in there, it makes me desire to somehow bring it to this world however I can, you know, within constraints of being human.

love ya'll
-artificer

Thanks for sharing Artificer. That was beautiful.

I listen to a lot of Terence myself. If you listen carefully, even though he speaks subjectively, as though everyone will experience what he experienced, there's almost a caveat stating that it's just his experience. If DMT is as vast as it seems, it statistically follows that there will be outliers in some aspects of the apparent shared experience. So, simply, you're not weird at all for not having experiences that line up with his reports. And it's a way in which you and I share a similarity.

I've recently come to understand the ego as a facet of self not to necessarily be eliminated, but to be managed. The "self" (whatever that may be) doesn't go anywhere during ego death, but such an experience, properly integrated, can be a great tool in augmenting and balancing the ego. So, maybe the increase in confidence and such is what your ego needs at this time.

Only one burp? You're lucky! For me it happens throughout and I often purge.

I have shivered/tremored/convulsed on DMT. I often think of it as energetic discharging. It happens a lot with cannabis assisted psychedelic medications and journeys. A very healing and somatic experience.

The blue laser entity reminds me of the first entity I came across which was a woman made of black light whose lower body went on forever.

And yup! There some aspects and details of some of my experiences that I tell no one about. Nature of the game.

Very beautiful and long journey. It's encouraging for mine later on today.



One love

It was nice to make it my own, I kind of went into it with that attitude, eating just beforehand when I often hear of disciplined dieting for hours to days beforehand (although usually in context of mushroom or Aya, in my mind it applies to DMT too), and I just needed to go at it how I did and see for myself.

The attitude of really wanting it I feel outweighed any negative effects of eating like I did.

I still cannot get over the "astonishment" of the experience. I felt like I was deep in there, going through checkpoints along the way of letting guard down more and more to dive deeper and deeper.

It's like aerobatics. You get in an airplane with someone where they do inside loop, outside loop (postive, then negative G forces) with all sorts of foreign sensory inputs going on for first time, yeah it's hard not to get nauseous, because it's hard to tell the body it's ok when you don't really know if it's ok, and nausea is standard bodily response to get you to stop.

But once well informed the low likelihood that this particular airplane would have any structural failure and these maneuvers are not putting you in danger, the brain is trainable to treat these sensory inputs as acceptable and the nausea goes away, especially when you are the pilot and not being taken for a ride. Then, it's playtime.

The spirit molecule - it's a vehicle providing endless new sensory inputs, but last night I felt like I sat down with such intent and strapped in like a pilot in a proven, capable craft, I think this is part of why it went as well as it did.

I hope the aerobatics analogue may be useful to my fellow psychonauts. Anyway, I really look forward to the next DMT flight, I just hope I don't push my luck being cocky and get put in my place lol - that is a fear/thought that never gets far from my field of view.

In the meantime... wow... insert profanity here... wow. TV ain't got nothing on this world and available experiences. I'm awake.