Guru Scott loves the d.

A man gets hits by lightning and barely survives. The experience is life-changing, and the man decides to give up all his worldly concerns and possessions and focus solely on the spiritual.

He follows through with his plan, and becomes a deeply religious vagrant who wanders the land barefoot wearing tattered robes, eating as little as possible, and forgoing all wordly pleasures. He carries nothing with him, not even a toothbrush.

One day he wanders into a town, and someone sees him and yells, "Hey, Mary Poppins!" Confused, he waves and continues on his way. But less than an hour later, another person spots him and yells, "Hey, Mary Poppins!" The man frowns, but determined not to let simple worldly concerns bother him, he keeps walking. Then a third time, someone on the street notices him and says, "Hey, Mary Poppins!"

Finally, the guru snaps. "Why does everyone keep calling me that?" he demands.

The person who yelled seems surprised he doesn't know. "Well, everyone calls you that," he replies. "You're that guy who got struck by lightning and decided to become a spiritual guru, right?"

"Right," says the guru.

"And you barely eat anything, so that you're practically starving, and you walk everywhere barefoot, and you don't even carry a toothbrush?"

"Right," says the guru. "So why does everyone keep calling me Mary Poppins?"

"Because," says the man, "you're the super-calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis."

Where does the guru go after a long day of work?
Hooooommmmmmmmmmmmme

One of them opens his eyes and whispers "Life...", then closes his eyes and keeps on meditating.
Seasons come and go, twenty years pass, then the second guru opens his eyes and whispers "...is suffering...". Then stops suddenly and dives deep into meditation again.
After another twenty years of meditation the third guru opens his eyes and says "C'mon guys, are we here for chitchat????"

How did the guru cross the river?
He swami across it.