Hey there Nexus members,
I had long toyed with the idea of registration, but that one time I tried, registration was closed, and for a while, I was lacking the mental energy to fulfill my personal goal of answering the whole questionaire in one single session. Well, I managed to do that today, so here I am.
Without disclosing too much, I still want to give whoever is interested an idea of who I am, so let me mention some ballpark numbers. I'd consider myself an avid psychedelic user, probably started some four decades ago with LSD and psilocybin. Personal usage for me is episodic, so periods where I accumulate a bunch of experiences, followed by periods of abstinence. These days, I've established somewhat of a nicely working schedule and consider the experience to be quite self-regulating - I just know when I've learned (or seen) enough, typically indicated by the desire for another experience completely fizzling out until I no longer actively think about it, only for a little voice to remind me when it's time once again - might take the better part of a year sometimes to boot back up, whereas any "active" period might contain anywhere from 10 to 70 voyages, also depending on the substance (tolerances) of course.
I had actually taken a major break when someone in my circle of friends mentioned a documentary about (5-HO-)DMT and the fact that this would be the only substance they'd be interested in. Given that they did not have any psychedelic experience at all, I started researching the topic rather thoroughly. Eventually I came to the conclusion that it would not be advisable for that person to undergo such an endeavour with no prior experience and no sitter available, and given that no experienced sitter was available, I had to become one. After all, with all that psychedelic experience under my belt, how different could DMT be?
Well, I bet if we'd be having this conversation in a shared nook in hyperspace right now, I could see a slight smile on your face while I'm telling this story. And yes, quite obviously, my first experience in the company of a lifelong, trusted friend was quite alienating. I immediately understood terms I had only read about before and noted their significance. "Sacred geometry" did indeed exist, and I had never in my life even seen the true nature of something so simple as a triangle. I was blown away.
In fact, I was perplexed, if not afraid after my first time. I went to sleep, dreaming about the experience and woke up not knowing if anyone should ever consume that substance. However, I do not believe in shying away from something out of mere fear, so I made a promise to myself: I would try it two more times to see if there was any real value in the experience, or if it was just a magician's party trick, a light show that people fancied as a distraction.
Both times happened at a gathering on the same day shortly thereafter. The first time I saw things so beautiful I almost weeped out of gratitude, for being allowed to observe them. The second time I broke through and became geometry. Given my audience here, I believe I do not need to mention how significant of an experience this was.
Quite some time has passed since then and I have learned a lot, both by passively reading the Nexus, smoking DMT quite a number of times, trying Ayahuasca and generally learning a lot about myself and the world. DMT has become an important tool for personal growth and mental well-being. In fact, I have made major changes towards a happier and fulfilling personal life for which I am eternally grateful.
In sum, let's say I came to DMT maybe by accident, maybe through fate, but I can already tell the Nexus as a resource has improved the life of one human being, and now I'd like to participate and maybe help to improve the Nexus in turn.
Glad to be around!