What an excellent thread. I love how open and supportive the members of The Nexus are; this is truly the best place on the internet.


I've traveled too much, and so have perhaps you. So yes, I'm rather single (and 26).
When we travel, we really grow into someone else before we return. Where I live, opposites most certainly DON'T ATTRACT.... I see relationships as "an identification with the reflection of yourself in the other."
When other people no longer "see themselves in you," the relationship commonalty deteriorates or never really forms...



I've spent months taking the train across Russia from the arctic circle though Siberia and into Mongolia and China; and continuing through China into Tibet, the Himalayas, Nepal, and India.
I come home looking like a mad-man, eyes wide and full of the world. But i am no longer the simple Midwestern boy i grew up as: when a friend complains about a "dirty" bathroom, i can't identify with them as I am very sure it was not entirely covered with sewage and hopping tape worms looking for a new ride!


The more you travel, the bigger YOUR REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK BECOMES!! You basically don't follow the same rules, and thus the harder it is for those who stay put to see themselves in you.... and if they do, it's momentary until some other "strange aspect" confuses and backs them away. This makes it hard to be genuine.



Spice DRAMATICALLY ADDs to the millage you've traveled: Alien Hyperspace?!?! ha!

I don't think i could stay with someone who didn't at least appreciate these voyages...



a

I'm past 40 and have never been married. Its not because I use psychedelics. Mainly its because I've always been such a geek that I don't think I could settle for coming home and doing "family" stuff when I have a lot of other interests I like to pursue (psychedelics being only one of them). I had a few relationships but was never comfortable making a commitment.

At one point in my life, I did what I guess a lot of other "geeks" do - I hung out at strip clubs. I enjoyed some of my experiences at these clubs, but couldn't really justify to myself the high cost of this hobby given that I had other things I liked doing better that cost a lot less.

I never made a specific decision that I would always be single - but as time has passed I have found I am comfortable with being single, although I would never rule out some day wanting a female companion.

elphologist

Me too! I think we find "opposites" attractive, because they can reveal a hidden side within ourselves - they're not true opposites. In this sense, having a girlfriend whose strength is to show you repressed parts of yourself is truly psychedelic.

Thanks for posting, I've enjoyed reading it very much!

You guys have got me thinking about my attitude again.

Am I being spiritually stubborn? Perhaps.

I recently met a couple girls that are possibly attracted to me. They like my slow careful word choosing (and spacing out) demeaner, the fact that I attempt (in an upright position and closed eyes) to meditate in the middle of a chaotic party, and my unique Tai Chi (cloud hands) knee/ankle bending/bouncing dancing technique. Some people are weirded out by these things haha.

I attatched an essay I thought you guys might enjoy. It's written by a gender hacker. I believe paragraphs 4,8,12-15 fit this thread nicely. I suggest reading the whole thing though.

I'd kick you out without a warning it it were my party!

You really don't go to parties and do that type of stuff, do you?

I did this one time at a college party recently. One out of the about five parties (with more than 5 people) I attended. I was being very sociable and had some very interesting conversations. Would you really kick me out?

Well, of course I'm joking here!

But I'd sure be weirded out, even though it all depends on the atmosphere. Like nudity - OK at the beach and (very most often) not OK at the workplace. In my case it'd be a death metal party so someone doing stuff like that asks for trouble; but tai chi may very well fit nicely in some other company.

hahah everyone saw the 24/F/hyperspace

and all the guys come running...hehehe i love the nexus

haha i noticed that as well jorkest...

haha...

Aegle and i have been together for going on 9 years now - im 25.
Relationships are all about learning and i totally agree with "I see relationships as "an identification with the reflection of yourself in the other.""
I think when both parties are ready, things slip into place for a relationship to start.(when the student is ready the teacher will arrive - on both sides - kinda thing)

I was 17, sitting on my computer in my boxers, playing wipeout 2097, listening to the prodigy and had just smoked a bong when a friend arrived for a bong and to go skateboarding.
My house was large so instead of walking around to the back door, friends used to just come in thru my big bay windows, thats when my angel came into my life - literally thru my window.
I lacked the confidence i have now, but it was love at first sight - I knew at that point that i had found the woman i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Im not so sure your reflection is something that one can seek out, but something that arrives just on time.

I was in a relationship for two years where I really had to hide a lot from my girlfriend. I spent the whole time wondering if I was in the relationship just because it was comfortable and sort of working or if we were really supposed to be together. I'm not doing that anymore.

well...to be fair...

a/s/l? 24/f/hyperspace

...i had no idea what this title meant. that's why i clicked on it.

Early 40's and married for close to a decade (unbelievably). My relationship with the molecule is 100% compartmentalized - an amazing secret I hide away and explore in the dark.

I'm a hypocrite.

interesting thread.

i've been with my partner for... 9 years now. during this time my interest in psychedelics has grown, where as she has never really been interested, or ever will be.

I've discussed it with her, and she understands why i do it, but she still does not see the need. the fact that she is able to tell me why she is not interested, and is headstrong in herself is one of the reasons i love her.

it is something i would like to share... but psychedlics aren't everything to me. i understand where some of you guys are coming from but if your only looking for someone who you can also share all your interests with, you still might miss that one person, who for all other reasons is your perfect fit.

my advice - if your stuck in you home town, working a crappy job, feeling lonely. go travelling. the best way to meet new people, and more likely more open-minded souls.

"i understand where some of you guys are coming from but if your only looking for someone who you can also share all your interests with, you still might miss that one person, who for all other reasons is your perfect fit."

I have never found a girl into psychedelics that I got along with the way I do with other girls that arent into these things at all...kinda strange that way but not really whne i think about it...Some of the deepest girls I have ever met in my life didnt do these things.

I think what really matters is that your partner respects what is important to you, whether that be psychoactives or base jumping.

I'd also never be with a girl who didn't get on with my friends, though that's not a challenge really as they're all pretty harmless. If I can't find 100% acceptence in another human being then their's no point for myself.

39/m/london

This year i have been with my man 7 years.Its very true what you say about opposites attract.We were totally different people.Different ends of the spectrum when it came to personal interests and outlooks.It was somewhat of a sore point when it came to realising what drugs he was using.Weed i didn't mind,it was the other hard types that i didn't want to relate to.
As a total non-user myself it came as a culture shock to be involved with someone into all kinds of paraphernalia.Yet as the realtionship grew ,and started to learn and understand about this culture,i began questioning my own misinformed opinions.
And so,through my own positive experience with psychedelics,i am no longer the person i used to be,but the person i should be.Because of that we have a much deeper physical and mental bond.We are still very different people but have learnt to respect and enjoy each others interests.


I thank,and deeply love my other half,for helping me get to where i am today

by the way, what does the 'a/s/l?' stand for?

Single for 2 years now. Was my third serious relation. It broke because she wanted to get married and have babies.
She is pregnant and married now. And i am glad i am not. We are still friends. So yeah, that is possible..
None of my girlfriends have understood why i use psychedelics.
None of them ever tried.

Not looking for girlfriend at the moment. Probably will meet someone this summer when i go out more often.
But if it will be serious enough to last i do not know... You see i do like to be alone often. And i will leave or kick my friends out when they are around too long. Same with girls. Could be a problem since most girls want to live together, have babies etc.
Guess i will die alone then... so be it.

Btw im 31.

age/sex/location- 30/male/quad4 zone2 area1

Been with my wife for 11 years, married for 6.

We have always used psycs together, only the Spice road she has not gone down with me. At first my love was a bit worried as to what this stubtsance would do to me, maybe make me crazy. But after a few sessions she has noticed it has made me a better person and she is more than happy to make sure that all is going well.

There was a time when she would not like to hear me talk of the stuff, but now she is very interested in what im going through, and she is there to hold my hand when things get a bit rough.

GOD I LOVE HER. She is the best thing that could have crossed my path.

I hope that all members can one day meet a lady/man that is as supportive as my darling FAY.