Quote:I'd like to ask some questions for better understanding before I can provide any feedback.
Why such strict limits on how many psychedelic experiences you may have? There's a great deal to be experienced on these substances, and one experience is rarely the same as another ime. Also, with vaping DMT properly, it may take a little practice.
In short words, it's because of my lifestyle. I don't want to reveal a lot of personal information, but in essence: I'm already a happy man. I have a good family and a perfect wife. I am curious by nature, and a couple of years ago I stumbled across some literature that made me ask me some questions. After that, I kept reading and I discovered that not all drugs are made equal, that psilocybin has less toxicity than my morning coffee, and that DMT is naturally produced in my body. Also, I read that those substances were not addictive and that they could help me feel something that I am already feeling, kind of, at an intellectual level: that the idea of being a "something" inside of my head is just an illusion.
I would love to know if I am right or wrong. I would love to know if the books I have been reading the past 2 years were bullshit or if there was truth in them. I see the logic in those, but I don't "feel it", except for some really briefs periods of time. But, as Alan Watts said, "after you get the call, hang up the phone". I respect psychedelics, and although now I don't look at them like before, I see no need in using them for recreation or other means. I am just looking for that answer.
Additionally, there's my wife. She is amazing, and she trusts me enough to agree with me taking psilocybin, even despite she not understanding it. She was afraid, and anxious, but she supported me. She knows that I didn't get my answer that time, and she may agree to me trying psychedelics again, but I know that she would never support sporadic use.
Don't get me wrong: I think this is important. But my family is the first thing in my life. I want to know the truth, but I won't destroy my family and my wife in the process. Other than that, I am fine. Maybe, if I was younger, I would do a more "risky" or "passionate" approach to this, but I am not like that anymore.
Quote:If the e-cig method doesn't work well for you, this may work better (it's what I use).
Thank you so much for this. As a non smoker, I have no idea about vaping either, so this info is invaluable to me. If I end up doing it, and if you are okay with this, I will try to write a "how to" as detailed as possible, with pictures.
Quote:When you say "breakthrough" what is it that you mean? Do you mean a life changing experience? OR is this more in line with the depth and intensity of experience (I don't often hear the term breakthrough used with anything other than DMT)?
I would like to feel that I am not my thoughts. It seems that some authors (mainly Alan Watts and Sam Harris, as they are my favourites) agree that we are identifying with our thougts, and that our ego is an illusion manufactured by us. The latter also defends that psychedelics can be a tool to experience this.
I chose psilocybin as my preferred tool, since it was edible and it seemed easier. I read everything I could about it, in order to prepare for the trip and to have a safe time. In the end, it seems I fell short of my dosage.
I don't mind, as although I didn't get the answer I was looking for, I got other answers. Maybe those were the answers I needed at the time. Since that trip (which was some months ago) I am much more present, and way less anxious. I didn't struggle with anxiety before, but work can be stressful. Well, not anymore! So in the end, I count the experience as a tremendous success.
Quote:Also, with vaping DMT properly, it may take a little practice.
Thank you for pointing it out. What has made me "switch" my interest from psilocybin to DMT is something like that. If I were to try psychedelics again, and I stick to psilocybin, I would need several trips. I mean, I am not going to duplicate my dosage like a madman or something like that. So in the end, we would be talking about 4 or 5 more trips, maybe. I don't know, I'm just estimating. But due to the limits I have self imposed here, I rather not do that.
DMT, on the other side, seems easier. It is true that I might need a couple of times, maybe, but I think that if I learn to smoke, I have more chances of getting my answer there. I understand that it may not be a success the first time. But somehow I think I will succeed quicker with DMT. I may be wrong though!
Quote:P.S. Welcome to the Nexus
Thank you very much!
***
Quote:Welcome, Ragna. About the meaning of term breakthrough. Sometimes "breakthrough" is used as a term for rapid advancements in therapeutic progress, but this is not what DMT breakthrough means. Breakthrough experience is something associated almost exclusively with vaped DMT although sometimes people say they have experienced something similar with high dose mushroom trips.
In breakthrough experience you experience growing intensity (often accompanied by ringing voice) and when the intensity reaches a certain point you are entirely on the other side. This can be beautiful experience but it's very intense and can feel overwhelming, since it's so otherworldly. The feeling is a bit like the one in very intense dreams.
I may have used the term breakthrough wrong, maybe. I am sorry for that. Currently I am reading "DMT: The Spirit Molecule", and it is used there, so I thought I understood what it meant. But I am learning all by myself, and I can make mistakes.
What I meant is that I want to feel that I am not my thoughts. Lately I have been reading that we are thinking all the time, and that our sense of self is just another thought. So we would be thinking that we are a thinker. I am not good explaining this and I am probably sounding like a crazy person, but when I read it, it made sense, at least in a logical sphere.
I more or less understand it, but I would like to feel it, too. That is my goal with psychedelics. And that is what I thought it was to have a breakthrough dose.
Quote:DMT is tool for growth. It is a sacred medicine for the cultures it emanates from. It's understandable wanting to just try it and then move on, but a more wise approach would be to take it for what it's worth and then decide if it's worth continuing. Having a relaxed and open attitude helps a lot with the experience
I hope this doesn't upset you and I want you to know that I really appreciate your reply, but personally I don't believe in anything sacred. I do accept them as a tool, thought. I have spent more than a year getting ready for my psilocybin trip, and I plan on spending as much time as necessary preparing for the DMT one. I respect the tool and myself, and I will do as much as I can to make sure that the experience is safe.
I have... A weird personality, I suppose. This is my "relaxed and open attitude" already. If you let me try a comparison, it's like going out to explore a forest. I will read all I can about the flora, the fauna, and the terrain. I will check my backpack several times to make sure that I have all the essentials (and a few non-essentials). But after that, when I step into unknown territory, I accept anything that comes my way.
So although I may look like I'm too focused in details and control, in the end it's just that being cautious beforehand lets me enjoy the moment later.
Quote:Also, I suggest you try DMT with harmala alkaloids. Syrian rue is the most commonly available source for them. It slows down the experience and helps you take a better grasp of it. I also strongly recommend taking oral DMT (also called pharmahuasca or ayahuasca analogue, where MAOI component like syrian rue is included). It can show quite different side of DMT than vaping.
I had avoided that option for the vape one, because I thought it looked too difficult for me. But if you recommend that option, I will pay more attention to it. Maybe I go this route. Thank you.
Quote:But then there comes the point where it's just time to try and see for yourself what it is. You probably have lots more questions after the first experience.
Yes, I understand that I can't predict how I am going to feel/think/be after the experience, so this can be an option. But I won't try to get ahead of myself for that one. What happens, happens.
If I do it, I will post it here
But it might be a while! it took me almost two years to finally try psilocybin.
***
Quote:My view, is the one you do not want.
Start the “soul way” > Aya.
You want to control it.
Stop there!
You can’t - And you should not!
Maybe it's the way I write. I don't plan on control it. In fact, I would say my life is 100 times better since I don't try to control things. But same as I get ready before doing any other activity, I will do my best getting ready for this experience. I may never be. I may think I am ready and not be. I don't know that, so it doesn't worries me. But it would worry me to not try to get ready, so if it is in my nature, why not do it?
I had avoided the ayahuasca option because it seemed too complicated, but you are the second person recommending it so I definitely need to have a deep look at that. Maybe I don't need to learn to smoke in the end!
Quote:If you want to TRY “open it”.
Take secure measurements.
Have a sitter (support). It does not need to know how DMT works. It need to know:
1. It will stop!
2. You will not die from it!
3. Be ready to clean the puke!
Thank you for this. I have the best sitter in the world (my wife). But yeah, she does not know how DMT works. I have prepared her for all of this since my first (and only) trip, with psilocybin. I made a summary of
this website for her.
Quote:4. It is ready to give you “trip kill”, if you ask for it.
In your mind you can enter a loop, where you will ask for a “trip kill” many times. But in real time it will happened once. Your friend might wait for confirmation, thou. So let them make sure: “Do it => DO IT”.
I am sorry, I don't know what a trip killer is. I thought that after I'm in, there was no way back. Could you elaborate on this, please? or at least point me out to a source where I can learn more about this. Thank you!
Quote:Take it slow. DMT have stages. Nice colors are fun, but eventually “hammer” will drop.
If you smoke, It is more borderless (hammer is faster), but you should do Aya to “understand” DMT.
Heaving that experience, and having time to react, helps for any future DMT forms.
Take it slow.
I rather fall short than have too much, so no problem with this. Also, as you said, once I'm in, I would be focusing on learning what I can from the experience. I am cautious, but I am not afraid.
Quote:If you have any “senses-extending experiences”, meditation based experiences -> good.
Take it slow anyway.
If you know how to control your dreams and emotions, go ham and be surprised. You might still scare yourself.
I do mindfulness meditation regularly. I am in a very good headspace right now and since my only psychedelic experience, some months ago, I haven't even been anxious (not that I struggled with anxiety before, but I am in an stressful career). I am a happy person.
Quote:If you are scared of “returning different”, or “returning schizophrenic”. The fear of that, is the key to create it.
Just let yourself “learn” DMT, and you will be fine.
I know I may turn different. But that is something that can happen with any experience. I am not in control of that, I can just choose which experiences I want to go to. So I thank you for pointing this out, but I am not worried.
Quote:Nothing bad is going to happened.
You are NOT going to die, when your “identity” lives your body.
You are, JUST!, not going to die.
You are there to experience.
That is EXACTLY what I am looking for. I hope I get to experience that.
Quote:Strong Aya gives "short" diarrhea.
Oh. Thank for the heads up! I will remember that.
***
Thank you for your replies. I did not expect that much info and care in this short period of time. I hope you have a great day!