Hello friends and explorers.

Thanks for the add.

My essay is I turned 50 this year. I drank and used drugs alcoholically from the time I was 12 until i was 43 with intermittent short, unsustainable periods of sobriety. I’ve been sober since 2014 and began looking at DMT in my 5th year sober as a possible way to further heal 35 years of chronic suicidality, depression and feelings of a separate me, different from the rest of the world.

I watched tons of YouTube videos, read papers and articles on it etc. Then my brother started telling me about some of his experiences with it. I was 6 years sober then. During my drugging years, I had developed a meth induced psychosis which lasted a couple of years after I got sober. Side-by-side with a paranoid schizophrenic you wouldn’t of known the difference. I wasn’t outwardly looking mentally ill but if you’d talked to me and were in my close circle I would have talked about my internal thoughts and feelings with you. Because of that my brother was hesitant in sharing DMT with me. He feared it might push me over the edge and he’d seen me in my using days when it was quite obvious that I was a drug user. 😬

Anyway, I continued to ask him to share it with me and he finally agreed. I went over to his house and did a small dose just to see what it was like per his recommendation to keep it small at first.
It was pleasant enough so I took another larger head and found it to be quite satisfying. That started my journey into exploring much deeper and looking for some healing of PTSD‘s and other traumas from childhood.

In the last year and a half I’ve gone into the realms about 10 -12 times. All but 1 experience was pleasant and some incredibly healing. In fact the last 2 times have shown me things I’ve long repressed so deeply they were unavailable as memory bith consciously and unconscious.
I had repressed what I believe was having been molested as a kid. I believe this based on my last 2 trips. Wow 😮

Anyway, looking forward to sharing and engaging with folks on these experiences and others.

Thanks y’all.
One love ❤️

Hello, welcome to the forum!

Thank you for taking the time to write out a thoughtful and personal introduction. Your story speaks to me personally as I am someone who has also struggled with addictions. I've had issues with alcohol myself and I wasn't fully able to give that up until I came here and started exploring the healing powers of mushrooms and DMT. Before then, I had also experimented with meth and went down a terrible path for almost 2 years, had a bit of a mental break myself, and had to live at home for a while until I got clean and was able to join the real world again.

But I've been clean for a few years now so reading stories like yours hits especially close to home. I know we don't know each other but I'm happy for you and I wish you all the success in the world. The healing process can be difficult and long, but it will be worth it in the end, I'm sure! Good luck to you!

-TGO

Welcome Loveisthekey!

Experiences with DMT have sometimes been a big reunion with the fragmented quadrants of my mind, where deeply suppressed memories become vivid parts of my normal, waking consciousness after the experience. Be careful to keep yourself well grounded and do the work of integration - I had to say so, though I’m guessing you’ve got things under control. Good luck!


TGO! Great to see you back to the full on welcome committee!