DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 7 Joined: 07-Aug-2021 Last visit: 17-Jul-2023
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Hello Everyone from the UK!!
Ok, so here goes...
I recently found myself researching DMT..I have no idea why, I don't recall ever wanting to do it....I hear that DMT finds you rather than you find it.
So I watch dozens of @Trip reports' on YouTube and read up about it. I wasn't convinced that if I bought it online it would be the real deal or it might be cut with something else so I decided to see if I can make it myself.
I was a chef for 18 years and would rather make something myself because then I know what exactly is in it.
So I bought all the things and made it...I even messed up the process and put the Naptha in before the sodium hydroxide (at that point I thought I'd messed up big time) but I got a pretty good (ish) yield for my first try from 50g of MHRB i got 0.46g.
I'd also bought a Yocan plus XL which I also got the ceramic dunut coil for too. And then I was set to go....
Now in the past (I'm 45) I have done plenty of LSD, Mushies, Weed and ecstacy so I kind of knew what to expect, although not done anything at all for maybe 10 years. Armed with everything I'd seen and read I thought I was good to go...
Boy was I wrong!!
My first few goes were tentative as I was a bit scared, just dipping my water in the pool. The Lights were on and I had music playing, I also had the window open and could hear traffic outside.
Everything around me was a distraction...I was getting some mad crazy visuals but I was distracted by the lights and sounds and couldn't get fully immersed in my experience. So the next time i tried the light was off but had music playing, that was better but still not for me. So the next time (all still smallish doses)the light and musice were both off and ear plugs went in....now were talking! But something was wrong...the trip didn't feel inviting at all, almost like a push back from it and then I did something very silly. I upped the dose and went back in....this time it felt like the trip was saying 'Oh you really want in don't you? Well you're not ready but here you go!!'
And then the flipping world exploded as I was shot through the universe strapped to a rocket and man it was terrifying..the instant huge regret of taking the drug, the oh no what have I done?! Oh holy shit I've messed up so bad!! And now it's all a bit of a blur....but I know I went through some crazy shit that was testing me and maybe ripping me apart....and then poof it was gone and all I was left with was calm and warmth and beauty and it was like something was casting love and compassion all around me...a huge fractal purple female face smiling down at me just sending love and peace. I remember just smiling from ear to ear, or i think I was and saying thank you over and over. All I felt was gratitude for being allowed to feel such warmth.
And then last night I decided to do it again...but this time to sit and think about why I was doing it, why did I want to go back in...and all I wanted was to say hello and send some love back out there. I really think doing this made for the most amazing trip...gone was any worry or panic...it was just a huge wave of euphoria and instant warmth....and then the jesters arrived and they were playful and it felt like they'd been my friends my eternity...they were showing me things but I can't remember what they showed me. I was laughing with them about why I can't remember when I come back but I can't remember their answer...but it was joyful and playful...then I went somewhere where the images were so complex and mind boggling I was just in awe....and then....and then I felt like I was being watched and this massive eye appeared, like looking at someone who's put a magnifying lens up to their own eye....and I got scared and pushed back thinking it was something bad...and then I drifted somewhere else and then returned to my body.
I just laid there thinking, or trying to remember what I'd just witnessed and I instantly regretted pushing back from the eye that was watching me. I think whatever it was had noticed the fun I was having, the 'letting go' of my experience and excitement to be there...and so I decided to go back in almost instantly and whoa mama!!....again the jesters came to say hi....and all I know is that a thousand lifetimes of love and energy filled my body and I was shown the center of the universe and everything that radiated into and out of it. When i came back to my body my hands were over my eyes, I was laid on my back but my knees were up to my chest and I noticed that I'd been crying.
I can only remember little things of it but my goodness what an experience!!
I have no idea what will happen if I go back in...what experiences do people have with the Jesters?...is it a continual relationship where you just take off from the last time you were there? I really did feel like I'd always known them.
If you've made it this far thank you for reading!
I'm still trying to get my tiny human brain to process the intricacies and meaning of what I saw last night. I know I' need to take away things from it and implement them in to my life now. It'll take time but I'm so thankful to be given those experiences!
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 847 Joined: 15-Aug-2020 Last visit: 17-Feb-2024
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Jesters are kind of gatekeepers. When the hyperspace is new and you are not quite sure what you are doing there they remind you of this. When you build respect for the DMT world and become more certain of your intentions the jesters will appear less often. Then there will be new set of trials, but the key is to just stay on your path. Welcome!
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 7 Joined: 07-Aug-2021 Last visit: 17-Jul-2023
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Thank you!!
That's really interesting, it did seem at first when I took my very first trip the jesters were angry, morphing faces in to geometrical shapes, faces being spewed out of mouths, angry and laughing at me, giving me the finger. It wasn't pleasant at all...but last nights meeting with them was just so playful and full of energy and lightness. I honestly don't know if I've broken through yet...it seems I either am unable to remember the 'whole' trip or I'm just not allowed to yet...hopefully its a 'yet' maybe the more I do it the more I'll learn. I don't go in there with any demands or expectations, I know just to experience what is shown and appreciate the journey. I was more alert in last nights trip though and talking and laughing, no idea what was said though haha
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Boundary condition
Posts: 8617 Joined: 30-Aug-2008 Last visit: 07-Nov-2024 Location: square root of minus one
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Hello and welcome from a fellow Briton. Thanks for sharing - that was a great write-up. How do you feel your motivations differ with exploring DMT compared with your earlier (raver days?) forays with other psychedelics/psychoactives? “There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work." ― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 7 Joined: 07-Aug-2021 Last visit: 17-Jul-2023
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Hello Hello!
Oh man, when I was younger i took all the other stuff to just get super effed up...go out with friends...have some booze and then hit a club or go back to a friends house. It was always about connection though and to be experiencing these things with my friends. We had a great time doing them and it created some very close bonds.
But now my motivation is just simple curiosity and wanted to expand how I think about the world, the universe, and my place in it. It's by no means a existential crisis, more wanting to broaden and better myself.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 4160 Joined: 01-Oct-2016 Last visit: 15-Nov-2024
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That was great. Thank you for sharing. DMT sure as he'll found me... kind of thrusting itself into my life. And during a 6 year hiatus from it, still calling and beckoning me throughout that time. There is a heavy appearance to my mind that the molecule does assess our motivations and intentions regarding our choosing to be in hyperspace. Have yours changed since accessing the space? I too (still) sometimes get the "uh oh" feelings! Did the purple fractal woman look like she was made of black light? In my first several journeys I'd interact with a woman figurr of black light, smiling with no mouth, and whose lower torso stretched on forever. I find some entities (and there energies) continue to apparently return to me over and over, almost like a tribe I'm apart of. But after a while, they show up less. At least obviously. But I would say a relationship is built with both the molecule and returning energies. Jesters are one of a variety of types it seems. Take your time in integrating your experiences when necessary. Hyperspace will always be there. Welcome to the Nexus. One love What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves. Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims DMT always has something new to show you Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea... All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 7 Joined: 07-Aug-2021 Last visit: 17-Jul-2023
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Hello!
I went in to my first heavy dose wanting answers and the almighty true enlightenment and that's when i got the push back from the trip and it was like it was teaching me a lesson...to show how powerful and immense it all was and it just put me through the ringer........from pure fear and instant regret, to believing I was going to die and then to pure joy and happiness.
The purple face I saw of the lady was purple and black but made from spirally shapes always changing and morphing, there were no spoken words just a immense feeling that everything is and will be OK.
Yes, I don't want to rush my journey, I will only take it when I think it is right to...more of a feeling than a decision...I think overdoing it would show I'm desperate for answers etc and I wouldn't want to show disrespect or arrogance, haha I've learned my lesson already when I tried that approach!!
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3968 Joined: 21-Jul-2012 Last visit: 15-Feb-2024
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Shoot, howdy. This stuff is mighty strange, ain't it? I dunno about enlightenment, but DMT sure will shine a light onto something you never knew was there. Is it real? Is it you? Is it you but you are me and we are you? Who knows, but that several folks are responding empathically and intimating that you and they may have "seen" the same thing is...??? This place is far stranger than any of us can imagine or grasp in three-D but the cool thing about spice is that it rearranges space and time in such a way that our mind is allowed to freely travel it. Or arranges our mind to be able to. Or something. Don't listen to me, I'm sober and I don't have freaking clue what this stuff is or does. Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon *γνῶθι σεαυτόν*
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 847 Joined: 15-Aug-2020 Last visit: 17-Feb-2024
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Cavywavy wrote:Hello!
I went in to my first heavy dose wanting answers and the almighty true enlightenment and that's when i got the push back from the trip and it was like it was teaching me a lesson...to show how powerful and immense it all was and it just put me through the ringer........from pure fear and instant regret, to believing I was going to die and then to pure joy and happiness.
Thank you for sharing this. DMT was nightmarish for a long time but I couldn't proceed before I tidy my head and build proper respect for this very powerful medicine. It has forced me to exercise the virtue of learning from mistakes. I was venturing on dangerous levels that could have hurt rather than heal. Respect is something that our culture nowadays lacks. Media feeds in people's mistakes. DMT is more powerful than your low self. It forces you to learn respect or perish.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 4160 Joined: 01-Oct-2016 Last visit: 15-Nov-2024
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Tomtegubbe wrote:Cavywavy wrote:Hello!
I went in to my first heavy dose wanting answers and the almighty true enlightenment and that's when i got the push back from the trip and it was like it was teaching me a lesson...to show how powerful and immense it all was and it just put me through the ringer........from pure fear and instant regret, to believing I was going to die and then to pure joy and happiness.
Thank you for sharing this. DMT was nightmarish for a long time but I couldn't proceed before I tidy my head and build proper respect for this very powerful medicine. It has forced me to exercise the virtue of learning from mistakes. I was venturing on dangerous levels that could have hurt rather than heal. Respect is something that our culture nowadays lacks. Media feeds in people's mistakes. DMT is more powerful than your low self. It forces you to learn respect or perish. Second both the respect idea as well as that of working on the mind and our relationship with it. Interactions with these spaces is big work. It's a relationship (like a marriage as Tomtegubbe has shared before). One love What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves. Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims DMT always has something new to show you Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea... All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 4612 Joined: 17-Jan-2009 Last visit: 07-Mar-2024
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Enjoyable writeup. First time experience reports like these have always been nice to read, much of the reason I still lurk. Cavywavy wrote:Boy was I wrong!! Good practice to always keep these 4 words in mind going forward into future experiences. Cavywavy wrote:I have no idea what will happen if I go back in... Never settle in to what's shown to you, experienced and/or felt. The experience can turn all that around in a hurry and put you in depths of Being beyond your wildest imaginings. Safe travels Tomtegubbe wrote: It forces you to learn respect or perish. Respect is key.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 7 Joined: 07-Aug-2021 Last visit: 17-Jul-2023
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I decided to see if I could go a little further this weekend and some very eye opening things happened. I sat and meditated in a quiet room for about 10 minutes, centering myself....trying to clear my mind of any expectations or wants, finally when I felt calm I took three big hits and I was away to Hyperspace...and a few things happened....the jesters came to visit again...this time in different forms and feelings but I could sense it was them and that got a good laugh from them....I could feel myself being pulled deeper and I could sense myself getting sad to leave them and I remember saying 'I'm sorry guys, I have to leave' but in typical jester fashion they were like 'We don't need your sympathy, go have fun'
This is where it got a bit dark but not too scary....something was trying to over shadow me, like cast an awful shadow over me, a feeling of menace came over me of something wanting to take control...It sounds so weird to say but almost trying to mount me....I saw this as a sign of it trying to show dominance and I pushed back to show I am not a push over, I will relax and freely try to surrender and give in to the trip/experience but I am not here to be dominated. And that worked, it all opened up to light and openess and I had flashbacks of being a kid and full of dreams and hopes, feeling like the world was my playground again..I also had someone flying with me telling me all this crazy stuff but I can't remember what. And then I felt this immense force shooting towards me, like a white hot comet, in my peripheral vision and it hit me like a train from my left side I think, boom right into me and then I started to come back to my body.
I learned from that experience that I have been very closed off as an adult, that even though I want to let go I did not know how to...but now I know the beginnings of how to start doing that, and also to learn how to connect with the younger me more, that it's still OK to be creative, free, fun, let loose...to just enjoy life and not to et caught up in all that bullshit that can drag you down!
And then about 10 minutes later it called me back in so off I went...And this was my strongest most emotional experience yet...I can't describe the things I was shown, such power, love, calmness and intricacy, layers and layers and layers of information, almost like Neo in the Matrix downloading the info into his brain....Still can't do Kung Fu though!
A voice was talking to me, bombarding me with energy and information, my body was convulsing, first my legs, then my hands, I was rocking from side to side, just barely hanging on, going into the foetus position and back to my back, lifting my knees up to my chest, I was all over the place...I could feel my hands holding my head at one point trying to stop my brain from leaking out my ears...and I was moaning like it was all just too much to bare but also like I have always wanted to feel that way, maybe I was missing the feeling that I have already felt a 1000 lifetimes, I'm not too sure...but it was so beautiful and I think all the being wanted to show me was simply 'Everything possibly imaginable' It almost felt like a finger was lightly prodding me in my consciousness and that's when my body would convulse , like when you lightly just dip your finger into water and the concentric ripples float outward.
I got up about 5am to go to the bathroom, as I stood there still in a daze, my eyes were closed and I went straight back to that feeling of being in that space, like there was still a small tether from me to that beautiful 8th dimension and I even got the body convulsion as i felt the connection something to me...Almost like a greeting, one last goodbye for today...a great feeling to experience but not when your stood having a pee! I was really shocked to feel that like 5 hours after my DMT experience. I'm still trying to figure that one out...maybe I carry whatever power it is already inside me...maybe me learning how to start letting go has created a small tether/connection to that being/space/experience. Whatever it is it's a beautiful feeling and today I feel light as a feather.
Maybe we'll all meet out there one day when we're on our travels!!
Much Love
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