Nerves and anxiety. It was the one thing that stopped me from breaking through regularly on DMT.
After the first toke, a few things seem to happen. Time seems to speed up in a wicking-fashion, like watching a video on old DVD players where the disc isn't cleanly read - sometimes it pauses for a little then suddenly speeds up. I get that distinct effect, like reality suddenly speeds up a little trying to catch up with itself.
The term HD-vision is often used to describe things at this stage, but for the uninitiated, it doesn't do it justice. Reality suddenly appears to be more real than reality has ever been. I'm always amazed by this effect, like how can everything look more real than reality? But it does! At this stage, a calm hits over me, I feel like there are a bunch of 'people' or 'spirits' whispering and encouraging me to keep going, an excitement that doesn't emanate from me, but rather the universe waiting, wanting me to do it. It's the strangest feeling.
Magic. The way the smoke dances, the way everything is suddenly made of a material that's a truer version of itself, it's magic. I get the distinct feeling that DMT is pure magic.
I wonder if what I've described so far resonates with anyone else, these things happen without fail every single time.
Most of the time, I always end up chickening out after this, except for that time I was tricked into the most insane breakthrough experience ever by the mushrooms...
I used the word 'tricked', because that's honestly what it felt like. I was at the peak of a pretty intense shroom trip. In my room in, in my apartment, I reached for an oil pipe, already loaded with an unknown amount of DMT, leftover waxy goodness from prior trips. Let's just experience a little of that magic I was talking about earlier...
Except, I lit and held that lighter far longer than I ever did. I inhaled slowly, what seemed like vast amounts of white smoke, for the longest time. And before I knew it, that speeding up of time, I remember thinking 'oh no, oh no, oh no', and it's strange to think that a thought could have 'sound', but it sounded like my thoughts were spoken after inhaling helium - high pitched and funny sounding.
I don't recall exhaling. But I remember in vivid detail a lot of what happened. You know Terence McKenna's prediction with Time Wave Zero? I felt like this prediction happened. But it happened only to me. It was about the right time, this was somewhere in the second half of 2012. It happened in a way I did not plan for, and I still get that strange feeling that it had to happen, one way or another, it was going to happen, and it did.
Keep in mind, this trip happened at supersonic speed, everything I describe happened in a tiny flash, but was very distinct and clear.
A giant tongue licked what was my third eye. It felt like the way a frog licks its own eyeballs to clean it.
Then I (and maybe along with the universe) folded down into a cube that had totem pole designs on it. And as it opened, everything, all of existence happened, from the birth of the universe through all of human history to all of future time. I recall the flutter of birds wings, a handshake, an airplane taking off, a simulation, a digital existence evolving into a more complex form of reality, into all this, and then back into nothing.
It's not easy to describe, but as all this happens, I feel like that I am reality, reminding myself of what I am, something that has to happen every now and then in timeline of existence. At this point, I am convinced that it is not just me taking this trip, but everyone in existence is experiencing this right now too. This unfortunately wasn't the case after talking to my housemates after the trip ended, who were none the wiser.
It was such a reality shattering trip, breathtaking in every sense of the word, but I have never had the courage to try again...
.. Until recently. It's been nearly a decade now and I've made some efforts to acquire some MHRB. It will be here soon.
I've been a long time lurker, but nice to have finally signed up.
Would love to hear if anyone has had a similar experience.