Greetings Friends,

A major concern of mine since extracting my own deems is how much is too much and how often is too often. I have wanted to engage with the spice more, but think, "am I abusing it?" "Am I disrespecting it?" "Am I deserving?" "Will I be able to handle it?" I am a worry wort, but these questions have influenced my trepidation about doing more.

Over the past year I have been doing it more and here's what I've learned.

1. Be honest with yourself: Analyze what your intentions are and scrutinize them. Am I deceiving myself? Is my use irresponsible? Also assess any concerns. Why do I feel undeserving? What makes me think that I can't handle it?

For me personally, I worry too much. Way too much. My use of the spice always comes with the utmost respect and reverence, thus there is only admiration and love for the spice and all it has to offer. My concerns are extensions of concerns I have in my life, not really about DMT. For example I tend to feel undeserving of the experience if I feel I have not been ontop of my priorities and responsibilities. That said, I try to do a lot and may be too hard on myself, so certain items not being completed is not necessarily cause for feeling undeserving or an indication of being undeserving.

There's always polyvalency in my intentions. It's a tool for my mental health, helping me to ground myself when experiencing "intensity." It's a tool for experiencing transcendental and enlightening states. It's a spiritual experience always, even if mainly analytical. It's a tool for introspection, allowing me a certain degree of detachment from my emotions and thoughts to observe, assess, and augment them. It's a vehicle for exploring the vast potentialities of the natures of reality and existence.

I never do it just to do it. Nor for fun (granted, I'm not the best at having fun and am working on that too).

It damn sure is never an escape.

2. Stop use depending on degree of necessary integration: some mild experiences need a great deal of integration and introspection. Some heavier doses may be intense, but come with little to be integrated. It's up to me to pay enough attention to know what is sufficient. Having too much to integrate at once wastes experience and thus, wastes spice. It can also cause cognitive dissonance and emotional confusion due to not having completely processed a past experience.

3. Assess external effects: has a particular frequency of use been a detriment or benefit?

In my life as of late, I've been aware of my DMT experiences pouring over into my pragmatic life in a powerful, productive, and meaningful way. I have been getting more done. I have become more responsible. I manage my anxiety, depression, and emotional state better. I am more disciplined (not to say that I wasn't responsible or disciplined before). I am more gentle and forgiving of myself and others. It's important to take note of when/if that ever changes, because if it does, then my use needs to change.

4. Rigorously examine if there is an unsafe or unhealthy dependency: this is extremely important to me since I see dependency on things not vital for survival as a sort of attachment. While I have corrected myself about detachment, I want to remain unattached. I would be remiss if I didn't admit that I would like DMT to be a part of my life for the rest of my life, but that must be tempered with balance, moderation (which can be variable), and without becoming dependent. It should always FEEL like a choice, NEVER a NEED.

5. Is one ready to do the work: For me, even a light dose is not easy, despite desire. I have to know that I'm ready to commit to the experience ahead and what it may entail during and afterwards. It's a type of commitment. One must be dedicated to themselves and the spice.

I am sharing this for two reasons: to solidify these ideas in my mind (because reconditioning takes time and repetition) and to assist anyone who may find this post helpful in analyzing their own use of DMT.

I thank you for reading.

One love

I cant ignore this one. I have a detailed account, fresh in my head still, of how the progression of abuse unfolded for me. This level of abuse would never be achievable following the standards and guidelines you set forth. And thats a good thing.

But if you just go crazy irresponsible with it, you really get to interact with it as something with its own conciousness and intelligence. These are my experiences, and I have only been down this road of extreme abuse once, so I cant say its the same every time, but I assume some aspects would be..

First thing is the sharpness and clarity of the experiences fade just slightly, I wouldn't consider this as abuse yet, so many can prolly relate..

Then there's an occasional trip that bears little resemblance to most experiences. And its shorter and feels like you've just been to a disciplinary hearing of some sort..

After that you become separated from the experiences, its all still there, but youre only observing it. You are no longer a part of and immersed in it.

The oev and cev cease to be present anymore, its no longer colorful and vibrant, but you are still getting profound meaning and the feeling of being grounded in a healthy way. But you know you are pushing it, and passing the gatekeepers off. Disrespecting the molecule..

Cut from story because you're thinking why would you keep pushing.. for which I cant really say. I'd like to use the end to justify, but I would never been able to know that at the time. I still have tons to process..

Then you get hyperslapped a few times, and they actually get quite ugly...

And then it killed me.....I dont know if I was being denied because I was abusing, or if it was because it was building up to a potentially fatal situation, but I did an IV fumerate dose and I experienced my own sudden and unexpected death while in a breakthrough state and I dont even know how to explain everything. It was pretty awesome, and I was given a choice to stay or go... im not implying that the dmt abuse was creating the health problem, but it was certainly aware of it where I wasnt..

I very strongly believe this really happened and it was not just a hallucination. I think I suffered a heart attack while on a breakthrough dose and it has been the single, by far most valuable, profound, meaningful, and enjoyable experience in my life..

Bisy,

Thank you so much for contributing. Though I know that everything you've been through, by what you've shared, is a great example to highlight some of the above points. I appreciate your candor with such delicate experiences shared.

I have been following some of your posts, and am glad to hear more to understand more. It feels important to also have an understanding of not only one's own experiences, but others' as well.

And your story has sounded extraordinarily transformative. I'm eager to see through future posts how it works out for you.

And just so you know, there's no judgement from me regarding what you've been through. Only love.

One love

I will never attempt to repeat it

youre welcome, and thank you so much for your kind appreciation...
As far as transformative value, OMF(gdmf)G. Even if we suppose it was entirely hallucination, it was very impressive, I would not ask for more realism.

So I blasted off, riding it like many other very intense trips. Just rolling along with it, not yet even trying for focus or awareness.. and then (this is hard to explain) there are no thoughts as we know them. That takes time same with feelings and emotions as we experience them time did not exist. I felt good, wonderful, the awareness of being dead slammed everything that has burnt out and faded in me throughout life right back into me. I remember how good I am, I remember why I love myself, memories forgotten are being dug up with a renewed appreciation for music I once loved, but have stopped caring about.. I remember the whole experience entirely, its easy to remember because it all fits into a moment without time. I think my heart started when (the whole thing was simultaneous but. I can discern changes) I responded to the choice with concern for my children and not feeling they would be safe yet without me.

So even we assume it was complete hallucination, it may as well have been real. I have been to see our maker, and I will live the rest of my life very comfortable about death

To honor the title of this thread, frequency and dosage, frequency would be 3 or 4 times daily, dosage was absolutely ridiculous but probably with much waste. I've spent many years savoring every chance I had to acquire small portions. With the situation suddenly such that I had a large pile of the best quality I've ever had, I was being careless and wasteful. There were a couple days in which I spent most of the evening trying (somewhat succesfully) to stay at light breakthrough state.. dont try this, as I suspect this was the part that the molecule did not appreciate. The whole thing from first blast off till death experience 4 months. Im very curious and eager to see how the next few months of processing, integrating and change plays out, and I really hope the future will allow me to enjoy the oev and cev and visual/audio candy of sub breakthrough doses again someday.

sorry for hijacking the thread and thank you for starting it.. I believe this experience would be impossible to integrate without talking about it, and I dont really think the doctor would accept the account too well.

I find myself to worry a lot as well. I ask myself a lot if my relationship with dmt is abusive? Yet it isn't. When I feel I've used it twice within a week I ask If I am doing it too much? Again no. I've used dmt to heal and to journey. I don't think this is a cure all molecule. I don't need to be attached to anything like this because I know if I'm ever having troubles I don't need to rely on something. This molecule however does make me work more and complete things because I worry If I'm lazy my trips will be bad. So I eat healthy, workout, meditate, and work. Make sure I have a high frequency and wait for the calling.

Bisy, in regards to the visuals I've noticed that when before my breakthroughs happen my vision looks rather more normal than it use to. It used to be bright and colored. Yet nowadays I just get the wavy fractals and thats about it. I don't think this is a sign of abuse because I've taken many months of breaks to test this and those colors haven't come back. Its almost like you grow out of it? is what it feels like what happened at least for me. Also don't worry about being judged here. I don't judge you and honestly really enjoy your posts!

If possible on a not changing schedule: DMT at least once or twice at week. For now at least. I tend to get a bit of a headache or "heated head" after my intense trips.

Thanks everyone for appreciating nonjudgementally, but for harm reduction and safety sake, I think my behavior does deserve a little disapproval. Not necessarily at me by others, but it was very careless and irresponsible and I want my message to reflect that..

My chest feels heavy and bruised, and there are some other sensations consistent with heart troubles. But I did not fall over during the experience. I was sitting on the edge of my bed elbows on my knees I believe. I wish someone else were there to tell me hoe my body reacted because think about this for a minute. A crazy intense breakthrough is one thing. Taking a massive dose of dmt 15 seconds prior to a legitimate heart attack??? That I believe is unique. What if I quite literally experienced my death or almost death by perfect timing with hyperspace.. that cannot be replicated

@Bisy
Most of us been there, including me, your last experience seems currently very real and vivid and you might even start thinking you get the message. You probably still don't get it, in a year of time your visions of what happened will change and in two years it will change even more.
Don't expect integration to be fast, it takes weeks months and years for biocomputer to reprogram itself.


WanderingCat
> " I ask myself a lot if my relationship with dmt is abusive?"

If you are asking yourself that, then probably yes, it is most likely abusive.
There are degrees of abuse and maybe you are on the entry level and can brush it off with "I need this for my healing". But you most likely don't need it anymore

Wow guys. All I want to say is, my time with DMT was the happiest, most glorious phase of my life...for now

Wandering Cat; Do you get the heated head in cold weather too? I used to overheat sometimes and my trip would be a factory meltdown like thing, but I lived in the tropical weather (hot and humid.) And if I had to guess, I would say you are at the begining of abuse, but I dont know

I had a very intense few years when I first discovered DMT where I was using it multiple times a week with a deep session pretty much every weekend. I had a ton of experiences during that time that I knew where very significant but I'd generally arrive back in this world with just a big ??? in mind.

It's now been around 6 years since that time of frequent use, I've continued to use psychedelics on rare occasion in that time but mainly have been trying to explore all of past experiences through doing things here in the 'real' world through things like creating art and music.

I don't feel like I was anywhere close to understanding the significance of some of the experiences I had way back then as they needed time for me to process them from a sober perspective and it's only now, 6 years later that I feel like some of those deepest experiences are finally making sense to me as to what happened and what they meant.

I don't look back on that time of frequent badly at all but I also realise that if I'd just kept going about it in that way, I'd probably never got anywhere in regards to being able to relate to them in any meaningful way and this probably would've culminated in some negative consequences for me personally.

I'm starting to feel ready to begin another phase of exploration of the other side with DMT again and I know that things will be very different this time around due to having had so much time to integrate things that were incredibly shocking when first experienced - I know I'll be able to handle certain things better now.

I have yet to read a post about frequency of use that is this informative, honest, and non-judgmental. Thank you so much for sharing. Also thank you, Bisy for your transparency as well. I too have been following your posts and appreciate everything you have shared.

Back to OP, I relate to everything you have shared in your post. It all resonates with me on a deeply personal level. One of the most challenging things for me since I started using this molecule has been the inconsistencies with my e mesh rig. These led to fully wasted doses and leaving me feeling rejected and punishing myself for not being worthy and spending some time trying to identify what I did wrong or what I wasn't doing. Relief truly came with the device that I recently purchased and built and have not had one single misfire.

I feel like these rejection experiences were extremely beneficial in the long run, and an important part of my journey as I have been able to integrate the acceptance that I am worthy. I do revere and respect this medicine. I do integrate as best I possibly can. I have even been learning more and more psychonaut practices including some meditation techniques that have led to me being able to manifest some very DMT-like experiences that I have been combining with shadow and parts work. I think I am even getting closer to astral projection. All of this without the use of DMT but by using what I have learned from the other side.

The strangest part of it all though is that I STILL question myself daily. I am still checking and balancing everything, even though I know I have not been abusing it. I've had several instances wherein I consider a dose and change my mind. This is very new territory for me as I am a recovered alcoholic and stimulant addict (not a drop nor toot in over 5 years) and I have an extreme tendency to get attached to things that make me feel good, and boy does this medicine make me feel good. I love the fact that number 1 on your list is to be honest with yourself. Like step 1 in AA, it's the only step you absolutely have to give 100% to. Even the most minor of reservations can lead to trouble.

Finally, skipping to number 5, so beautifully said. It is indeed a commitment. It is a commitment to the trip, a commitment to self, a commitment to growth and learning, and it is indeed work. It's THE work. I love the words commitment and work in this regard and it is even more than just committing to jumping into the deep end and working with the new knowledge/wisdom or working through such intense experiences. Each and every trip, low dose or breakthrough, it is a ride that will not stop even until, and possibly beyond, full integration, and the work never stops.

Thank you again for sharing.

Love and light.

Partially healing, stress relief, and whenever I feel its calling for me are my reasonings for use. Due to an interesting trip that had taken outside I asked the molecule if I was abusing it. Because I'm a person who worries a lot. I don't want that kind of relationship with dmt. After I gave my intention what it did was give me a surprise. A very beautiful geometric being had appeared right in front of me and talked to me through emotion. It gave me reassurance that it wasn't the case. That experience made me cry tears of joy. Due to no terrible trips on this molecule makes me believe that this isn't abuse. I will heed your warning and thank you for the input. I don't want to come across as denying your statement because THAT would truly indicate abuse. I appreciate your advice.



I get the heated head or small headache after intense trips. Its happens every single time I dive deep. Its nothing major since it goes away the next day. I assume its just my brain working hard because of the experience and know it needs a break. Thats when I take a few weeks off use or months if I don't get the calling. I appreciate your concern as well, for the above statement I'd say with confidence that so far I haven't been. The most my use have ever built up to was twice a week. I'm quite fond of the experience I get from dmt and love how it helps my meditation after these mind blowing trips. However if I get hyperslapped I'll be sure to make a post about it.

No apology necessary. You're all good. I want others to share as much as they like . Your addition I find invaluable.



Thank you also for chiming in. You're adding further parameters of consideration for myself and others. I think you're onto something relative to feeling safe about blasting off provided other aspects of life are in order.



I'm not sure I can agree with the assertion that simply asking the question is indicative of abuse. I feel this is going to be different for everyone and without asking ourselves the question we may not be able to introspect to see if it's so.
All the same I appreciate your prose in saying "maybe" and "possibly" rather than making definitive statements. And I commend your post in that it will hopefully cause people to really be honest with themselves about it.



Are you not partaking in spice at this time, or did you mean "for now" in the sense of openness for future experiences (of any kind) to level up a more glorious phase of life?



Another wonderful example. You seem to highlight the inherent change that can come with out frequency of use as well as the importance of integration and how much time it can sometimes take. I'm grateful for your addition.



I love that: "the work never stops." It means a great to me that this post has resonated so viscerally for you. Thank you. What kinds of meditation practices have been tools to help you have somewhat DMT like experiences? I think that the regular questioning is beneficial and integral to these endeavors. We have to be ready to check our own delusions, wouldn't you say. I also want to congratulate you on your recovery. It's not easy, but it is beautiful and I'm thankful that you've overcome that to find better balance in your life.

One love

Honestly, I have been using 4-7-8 breathing more than anything else. It seems to have the fastest reaction time. Ever since my first big journey on DMT, I have been able to manifest CEVs at will. Since then, I have tried various meditations in an effort to enhance them, but I have found that the 4-7-8 is the simplest method to get me to a calm state that allows me to focus and direct the visuals. Once I get them going, I will typically do shadow/parts work, communing with the parts that have been acting out during that day. After I have spent some time with them, I find myself naturally drifting off and by then I'm so relaxed that I no longer feel my arms and legs. At this point I just go ham with it. I make myself spin and roll and fly around. I had an experience recently where I was flying over this landscape and at one pint was able to open my eyes and keep the visuals going as I was in bed with the lights out. Only once was I able to get the visuals so full and bright that it actually resembled the waiting room but empty. I was able to move and manipulate the space for a while before I passed out. So far it has been based on CEVs and I have not felt as though I actually went some place but the ability to visually manifest these things has been quite powerful in my work. Last night I manifested a very angry and chaotic part, and it presented as a mass of dark chaotic images like a moving collage, hiding its face, by the time I was done it had completely transformed into a soft, earth golem or ent like creature covered in plants and flowers. This so far is the greatest gift DMT has given/unlocked within me. I find myself going to bed earlier and earlier so I can spend time in that space. I love it.

Thank you for sharing that with me. You've given me some homework to do. I've been meditating for about 15 years, and have been feeling a need to diversify my practice. Those sound like amazing mind opening experiences that I would like to engage with myself.

How long have you been doing 4-7-8 breathing meditations for?

One love

I've been using to help get to sleep for years. I only recently started using it more regularly after trying many other techniques. I want to get better at Wim Hof and breath of fire. I still have yet to get into TM, but 4-7-8 has definitely served me well. I don't know that it will generate the same effects though, because I can manifest the CEVs with or without it. The breathing just helps me get super relaxed.

I am a bit puzzled... I have, as far as I think, been very careful. I started using about 6 months ago and so far I have only had a maximum of around 20 experiences, only 7-8 of which were intense/breakthrough experiences (the rest were in the beginning when I was still figuring out how to do it). The highest frequency of use thus far has been once a week, which I think is not that high. And yet, I have been locked out for about a month now. Earlier I thought that I probably wasn't ready, but today I felt a bit frustrated and tried to push it. I loaded about 50mg in my vape, tried to inhale as much of it as I could (probably managed about 40mg) and yet... absolutely nothing! that is, aside from nausea, and coughing non stop for several minutes.

I don't know what I did wrong... did I use it too much? or is the "right frequency" different for different people? Should I change my method? I have noticed that when I have a good experience I feel fine afterwards, I do not cough, don't feel like something's wrong with my body. But when I cannot breakthrough, even on moderate doses, I feel like my lungs are dying, I cough a lot and cannot stop thinking whether the freebase is harming my lungs. I usually use big crystals made by slow evaporation, could there be something wrong with that? Should I switch to freeze precipitated spice? (I am very careful with extraction, always perform a mini A/B and base with sodium carbonate) Or should I just switch to oral or sublingual?

I don't know whether I should make a separate post, don't want to litter! I would really appreciate some help!

Good morning my friend.

Being "locked out" is one of the most mysterious experiences involved in DMT in my opinion. Is it regulatory DMT entities that monitor admittance into hyperspace? Is it a potential neurotransmitter response issue? Is it something that just happens for no reason, just a random effect some experience? Is it the subconscious holding one back due to internal things that need be addressed? Could it be a lack of connection with one's intent in using the Spice? It's very confusing so I feel for you.

I don't necessarily think your frequency is too high, though it could be too high relative to dosage. I have been blasting off several times a week for the past few months. My dosage though hasn't been above the 20mg range. I've only been locked out maybe twice in my entire time using DMT.

It does seem to be different for everyone. There are a handful of actions I think you can take.
1. Try using haramalas, testing to see if the potentiating mechanism allows you back into hyperspace.
2. Administer your DMT in a different method, such as oral or sublingual, which you'll also need harmalas for.
3. This one you may not like; just take a break from it for a while, engaging life, and working on yourself getting involved in other activities, kind of forgetting about it for a time.

What method are you using to vaporize your Spice? Based on your concerns surrounding coughing and your lungs, I am wondering if there's an inadvertent burning of the Spice which can also deactivate it, preventing effects from manifesting.

I hope some of this is able to get the ball rolling for you and you can move forward in your journeys.

One love