Has anyone ever actively participated in their own healing during ceremony on a spiritual level? By that, I mean intentional, real time removal of a spiritually represented affliction. In the past, I have seen illness manifested in others as black tar, serpents, or little sootie-like creatures.

Or have you had another person perform healing on you? What happened?

Ten years ago, I went to hyperspace because I was curious. I was awestruck and a generally passive observer. I wanted to know who I am and what's out there.

Now I am back, but specifically for the purposes of healing an illness, and I feel like the terms of engagement are completely different. Part of it is being older and thinking more critically, but the other part is like the medicine has different business with me and is relating to me on a different level.

I feel like I could benefit immensely from seeing a proper curandero or equivalent, but that is not possible any time soon.

A long time ago, I sucked black tar out of another person who was sick once, but it wasn't actually me that did it; the medicine made it happen through me. The medicine wasn't teaching me how to do it on my own, I was just being given a glimpse. It was Aya rolling up to me in the Batmobile and saying, "Baby, let's go for a ride." She was always driving.

My recent ceremonies have been building on each other. The medicine has been running diagnostics on what's going on inside me, but also I feel encouraged to remain lucid and participate?

The other night, purple energy grids started coming out of me, and I could influence them with making this... weird throat hum thing that I can't replicate in a normal state of mind.

I had to go outside. I felt the life in everything around me, and had to try to find that same feeling inside me, and resonate. This one is an ongoing homework assignment.

Then last night, I saw superficially inside my abdomen - and my body is a snake pit. The snakes came near the surface, staying just below my skin, and I could see them wriggling around inside my gut, like that bug in The Matrix.

Aya was like, "Get 'em!" She was showing them to me for the purposes of me getting them out.

I reached to grab them, but grabbing them doesn't work. (I was just physically grabbing at my body when nothing was physically there and like umm... this isn't working.) I purged like crazy later (three times), but at the end of the ceremony, the snakes were still inside me because I couldn't figure out how to get them out.

And this is where I'm wondering - I've read things about shamans sucking and blowing to remove spirits. I feel like I need to do this to myself, but I'm not sure how. I don't know if I need a tool? Do I need to imagine/envision a tool? Do I need sonic manipulation, like rattles or a crystal bowl? What can I do?

Has anyone ever healed themselves this way? I have had spirits extract various things from me in the past, but I was always passive. They came to me and whatever they took out of me was a gift, I was never in control. Now Aya is like, "Ok, your turn! You do it!"

I feel like I need to re-read some Jeremy Narby. I'm also aware that this is crossing the line into full hyperspace woo. But I'd love to hear about any experiences, or even secondhand experiences, just for any inspiration about what to explore, meditate on, or intentions to set. I'm also wide open to book suggestions.

I've been seeing lots of visions of hand mudras, but they move too fast for me. I have had distinct sensations of someone gripping my fingers in different ways to pass energy currents.

I feel like there are times when the medicine hits too hard and all you can do is surrender, but there are also times when, beneath the dazzle of visions, there is an opportunity to participate.

Can anyone help me get my snakes out?

My only experience that may relate to this was my first attempt at a brew. I felt the spot deep in my gut that was not well, and I felt the vine slink through my insides to get there and pluck it from me. The vine then rushed it out of me and my purge started.

I have heard of the shamans using the traditional vine in higher quantity to the DMT substances, and that being the healer.

Maybe try adjusting your ratios in your work to reach the healing blend that’s better retuned to your dis-ease, if visiting a healer isn’t possible anytime soon as you stated.

My wife and I do participate in direct energy healing on each other with cord cutting and energy work, based in reiki practice, but I think that is different than what you’re asking here.

I believe there are many ways to work with spiritual afflictions. I think it's good to be flexible in the metaphors you are working with. It's very common to talk about alien energies and even spirits, but you could also think the negative energies as cancerous tumors. There are various reasons for tumors to appear and they make use of what you ingest. Likewise, there are many ways to treat them. You can try to remove them surgically, you can take chemo or radiation therapy which are heavy for your whole body, and then there is the rare, but most benign case of spontaneous remission where the tumor is healed by the body.

When working with negative spiritual energies I think it's good to make use of different strategies together, but whatever route you take, it's important to let the wounds heal and take a wholesome and loving attitude towards yourself and the dark spots in your spirit where the negative energy was able to attach to and the tumor grow.

So, puking, screaming, blowing etc methods of exorcising can be useful in manifesting the intention of removing something unwanted from yourself, but it's seldom enough. There is something in you that allowed the negative energy in in the first place and that needs to be healed through love, compassion and surrender to God.

Good luck and take care 🙏