Hey I was right there with you, at or pushing 30 and have never done any drugs. Not unless secondhand smoke counts around people that do weed. Where to start? I would say weed or THC vape. That's what kicked it off for me. If someone says you can't trip on weed, that's BS. When you're in the right mindset and comfortable, you can gain a lot.

I think something to also consider is you have to be comfortable with silence and just being in or with just your thoughts. I'm an introvert so that comes naturally to me. Some people really don't like that and these things can take your mind in a lot of directions so you have to be comfortable with whatever may come about. Don't try to hold onto anything either, just let things come and go.

Hi there, little update from me.

In contradiction to my earlyer statement i chose home-brew ayahuasca for my first time.
Mimosa bark is already in my possesion and the b.caapi should come soon.
I will get me a good reading on how to brew this stuff the right way and then i shoud have a very interesting holy night

I cant wait to see whats up with these entities and ask them some serious questions.
And i rly wana now why so many report of a female mother/god being. Why the hell female.

Put your safety belt on, lean back and enjoy the ride ☺️

Brew is ready!
50g caapi shreded, 5g mimosa powdered.
simmering on very low heat for a few hours until most of the liquid is evoporatet. Doing this 3 times mix the batches together und simmering them down again to ca 120ml.

i Will take a shower now and drink it after.

See ya when im back.

Good luck and see you!

So.. im back i guess..

It was absolutely not how i imagined it. I just write it plainly down to get i out of my head before i forget things. I definitely need another trip with higher dosage.

At first i thought i made an error with brewing because i was sitting there for one and a half hour without noticing anything. Not even the urge to vomit. Nothing.
After some more minutes of nothingness and being pretty sad about it i tried to sleep a bit.

After ca 10 minutes of laying there calm with my eyes closed i suddenly felt a "surge" from my stomach to my heart and i saw a triangle/pyramid folding into itself(?) followed of some "stargate´ ish wormhole travel on lsd" i dont know how to describe it otherwise. The whole thing (image) was super grainy like an old 80´ss vhs effect and out of focus. Immediately after experiencing this i opened my eyes in hope of seeing "stuff". But there was just my Room. I closed my eyes again und suddenly saw ca 5 giant eyelids opening and briefly looking at me from above(?) before vanishing again.
I saw in the next following, i dont know - 20 Minutes? nothing special exept the classical stuff you imagine yourself while having the eyes closed. In the same time i felt this "surge" multiple times with very very short(seconds) and weak lsd like visuals followed with a "Dosis to weak" thought


I didnt realized it in the situation but thinking about it post trip it rly felt like something was trying to connect with me but something on my end was not 100% right. It put me on standby and tried to figure out where the problem is and fixing it (surges). While at the same time looking into my history. There must have been something wrong with me because the whole trip after, I definitely felt multiple other entity's but i never rly saw them or saw anything rly. It was more like "Schizophrenic" in nature. A Black/grey space with foreign thoughts from multiple beings. I only knew who i was interacting with because everyone had an "avatar"-like "picture" that poped up in my head while it was communicating with me through symbols and feelings.

So after these surges something (female) definitely tried to interact with me. It tried to show me other visualization's of the dmt realm based on my preferences. It showed me pixel-graphic visions, stuff in catoon/anime style and weird mix of both and everything. All the while i myself was still absolutely not sure if im truly tripping or imagine things because when i opened my eyes everything was totally normal.

Anyway after a long time of seeing weird stuff in flat 2d i realized my body felt sluggish like im drunk. On this moment on i was sure that something in the brew WAS working and i started to finally notice the female being. Her "Avatar" was a pair of female eyes. Just the eyes. She was happy that i noticed her and embraced me. Me realizing this is now a fucking situation tried to ask her some question like i intended to (why and what are you) but ten she vanished and i felt i was now alone with some other minor beings. This part i dont remember all to well and i have the feeling it was very lengthy but i still know i was kinda acting like a very curios child and interacted in all sorts of ways with these entities. There was something with an "shit eating grin" as avatar who would laugh about everything (Kinda felt Jester-ish), something absolute "silent" who "sent" me only "annoyed eye pairs / rolling eyes", something female snake like wo constantly tryed to seduce me and a presence who was very big and just stood in the background watching everything from above (felt like a puppet player). I weirdly remember having fun with these guys but in the end the stupid silly laugh of the "shit eating grin" became annoying and no one responded to my questions anyway.

Ah! and in between all this suddenly 2 blue ish cyber /computer/ elektro Bugs (scarabs?) materialized i front of me. I instantly got "OH!, Royalty is here!" Vibes from the other beings around me. These were the first and only truly alien visuals i saw in the whole trip and they kinda vanished into me.

After a while i met something that was basically a giant ball of lard that was 2 times my size with a Quasimodo face . It was stupid and violent. Tried to hit me and i blocked it -Or so i thought. i quickly realized the Mother was there again and protected me. And at this moment i knew this whole time she was there in the background watching over me. And with that my question about her purpose got answered. She is the Proto Mother, watching and caring for her children that stumble in this realm.
I felt from her there was at some point a male equivalent to her but it got torn to pieces(?) and all the other beings i met were originally part of him.

I was so euphoric about the answer and the way she presented it to me that i rly rly tried to remember all this. She knew that i was satisficed and that i could not think of something other now than repeating the answer over and over again so i dont forget it. She bid me farewell with some teary eyes and vanished into a single white spot. I blinked 3 times and instantly was fully awake and euphoric. I quickly grabed my laptop and without looking at the monitor i wrote down what i wanted to remember but halfway through i became sluggish again. I knew this trip is not over and the mother just wanted to do me a favor. I got dragged back into my bed, closed my eyes and was in the realm again but this time there was only one being with me and we were kinda in a "safe space". This being had an "rooster" avatar. It had kinda a Fatherly "aura" to it but i dont realy remember much what happened between us. I still know that we had much fun playfully wrestle and fighting against each other. But i was still too distracted with the prior revelation and in the end i kinda forgot he was there.

Post trip i kinda felt like the mother arranged this meeting because she knew i had no father figure in my life n stuff

And i suddenly clarified. I was gone ca 5-6 hours


The Text below is the stuff i scribbled here in my mentioned short half time break

"So i dont know i have to write it down that the mother is just to protect us from the other minds in this realm becau she is the mother and she let me to write it down so i definitly dont forget that holy shit i first thought the pact is done but it as just temporarly"

so you met the mother serpent woman too huh? I've only done dmt the once, via smoking crystal and well, I met her in a "hospital" setting with a bunch of other "nurse" entities. She told me I wasn't ready, stroked my face and blew me a kiss that brought me back to reality. Very nice gal, 10/10 would recommend meeting.

Yes!! I dint mentioned it in the text but the female snake really was like a "Mother imposter"
At one Point i even kinda felt her physicly wraping around me in a sexual way.

The Rooster entity also gave me some physical-ish sensation as it tryed to scratch my back like a mad fighting cock. It felt like cold water was scribeling down on numb skin.

If you want to get into good terms with the Goddess, you have to be very respectful and understand that she's very powerful an entity. The entities you meet sometimes might seem to humiliate you, but it happens for a reason. It's an opportunity to become more humble. Once you get the lesson, you get to go deeper.

I think the visionary world is cluttered with all kinds of things that distract you and easily make you stray from the path. That is essential part of the teaching you are about to receive. Take time to reflect it and once you think you understand it, take another step.

Welcome to the other side 😀