PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Nervous, but realizing you have to just jump at some point
(physical condition) Set: I injured my back deadlifting, but otherwise well-off
Setting: Apartment; alone as when I always try anything mind-altering for the first time
Time of Day: 8:00PM clear skies
Recent Drug Use: It's been over a year since I've done any mind-altering drugs
Last Meal: Fasted for 12 hours, but had a coke an hour before drinking the first brew. The last meal I had though was steak and pierogies.

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
Body Weight: 86.2kg
Known Sensitivities: None that I can think of.
History of Use: In my teenage years I'd smoked Salvia >40x I'd say as well as weed periodically. Never used those again, but the subsequent years up to a year ago I've taken shrooms, mescaline in its pure form, MDMA, 2c-b, and 2c-i a few times each, but have taken LSD >30x at least. I've also never taken <2 tabs, but only worked up to 6 tabs. This was my first time with DMT.

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): B. Caapi and MHRB
Dose(s): 50grams B. Caapi, 3grams MHRB (powdered); however I made 4 doses at once, so x4 for preparation amounts.
Method of Administration: Orally, and with the will of the Gods to stomach that vinegar-root water. I was literally shaking with commitment


EFFECTS
Administration Time: T=7:49PM I drank the B. Caapi brew. Drank the MHRB brew T=8:15PM
Duration: 4 hours of HARD effects, then came down over the course of 2 hours
First effects: Overall discomfort of body and I noticed my teeth were on edge which seems to be a trend with most psychedelics in my case. Onset of trip rapidly approached within ~15mins of taking second dose. Described further in report
Peak: 1 hour after taking second dose for ~2 hours. Trip was so hard I did not notice change in intensity during this time. Still tripping hard for the next hour however.
Come down: After 4 hours, experience the most amazing time of my life piecing together what happened in that beautifully nightmarish and magnificent place. Still have visuals, but manageable similar to being tipsy on a couple tabs (although much different visuals)
Baseline: 6 hours I feel fine, but it's all I can think about. I still think about it and it's been about 5 days. It's always on my mind, but not in a bad way.

Intensity (overall): 4. I don't know if I'm extremely receptive or my methods of preparation were faulty, but I explicitly remember thinking that it's actually not possible to trip any harder. I was completely dissociated from my body and my consciousness was being annihilated by a vortex from space that was only periodically interrupted by visits from the Gods; who could somehow almost entirely stop the trip when they whisked me away. Further explanation in report.
Evaluation / notes: Plan to take less the next time to adjust more to hyperspace. It was too strong, honestly.

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4) 2
Unplesantness: (0-4 3
Visual Intensity: (0-4) 4


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 4. I honestly can even still see thorny vines in my mind's eye. I remember explicitly almost yelling out how much I love being alive. I was actually healed by the experience. I no longer view pornographic materials. I used to get almost black out drunk 3x a week, but now I have genuinely no urge to drink at all. All I've been doing is reading, cleaning, thinking, and spending time with friends during my free time.


REPORT

I'll try to be as brief as possible, and explicitly state the questions I would like to ask the community at the end.

Intro:
15 minutes after forcing down the MHRB brew, I was outside smoking, and some unpleasant, somatic effects began to take hold. I'd only finished half my cigarette, but from experience, I know better than to underestimate the power of psychedelics. Putting out my cigarette, I go inside to set a bucket and bottle of water next to my bed in preparation for the oncoming tide of emotions and visuals.

And thank the Gods! Once I laid down on the bed I could already feel myself slipping out of my body. I was genuinely terrified, but know better than to fight it, so I just let it come on.

The first visuals when I closed my eyes were a black ladder in a double-helix stretching upwards into space clouded by a red mist. It ended in an eye that very quickly transformed into a golden door. I completely left my body and saw myself at this gateway when a woman's voice called to me, "Do you seek to enter here?".

I view myself look down at the ground, and very nervously answered, "Yes". At which time the doors opened and the trip hits me at a force I cannot even begin to describe.

Key points of the trip:
When I entered, the goddess took note that I had no guide, no sitter, and no one near me. With benevolence, she took me under her own guidance, and I'm forever grateful for that. Through her we visited so many different dimensions. She pulled out memories from every part of my life and we discussed all of them. She annihilated my darker desires and acknowledged the better parts of me that must stay. I explicitly remember asking her at one point how she did this, and I remember her showing me a grisly scene of bloodied vines that she explained to me were rearranging my consciousness. Her payment was feeding off my darkness, which explains why a good 60% of the trip were in places so gruesome I don't like to dwell on their existence.

The only other guide I met was a kindly old wizard, whom I came to call Brother Jurema. I first met him when he pulled me from a dark place where the goddess had left me for a spell. His onset must have been about an hour and a half into the trip, and what was so wild was that he had the power to push all of the visions into the periphery whenever he would visit me; almost stopping the trip. He was less of a guide and more of a friend actually. He wasn't casting judgements or whisking me about. He just seemed like he enjoyed talking. I was blessed by him after our first encounter, and I remember as the goddess took me away she commented that he rarely does this, and is generally a darker entity. I met him more than a few times, but always to just chat whenever things got too rough. His payment were memories of my own on how I had overcome things in my own life, so that he could learn to heal others. Only one time did he show a darker side; when I had asked if it was true. But as he transformed, I placed my hand on his shoulder and told him I don't like him like this, and so he stayed as he was.

The two entities never interacted, and I suspect that they don't tread in each other's realms. There were many other spirits, and only one other significant entity, but I knew this third being was from my own mind. It's hard to describe how I knew. But there was a point during the trip when the goddess began pulling at the paper seal of a memory that I had long since locked away. It held a mindset from my youth when I suffered somatic and schizophrenic delusions that I had already worked through. I'm no longer troubled by these thoughts, but I did not want her to tear off that seal just in case. Almost in response, a powerful mage appeared and knocked her away (she had transformed into a cat) with a ward. The feeling I got was the old paradox of him being an immovable, and her an unstoppable force. Fortunately, she knew I was here for healing, and left well enough alone.

Comedown: After ~4 hours I started coming down to the point I could comfortably get up and made my way to the bathroom. I just turned on the shower and smoked a cigarette. Then another as I pieced together what all happened. This comedown period was probably the greatest experience of my entire life. Brother Jurema's blessing and the Goddess's healing! What I needed, I received. Even now, I absolutely love living...



There's quite a bit more to this crazy story, but all the wild visions and experiences would take a day to document, and I don't think it would help or be worth anything more than the key points I've outlined.


Questions: (I've read a few experiences, but wanted to get some new weigh-ins as well)

Has anyone else experienced some portion of their own mind defending a memory such as this? I was completely dissolved into this realm, so I find it shocking that my mind had any power at all. But not only did it, it was obscenely powerful. I don't want to know what would've happened should they have fought.

Having not purged, did it last longer than it would have? I remember a genuine fear being that having not purged, I would have to wait for my body to metabolize EVERYTHING before I would be released.

My consciousness has been quite literally restructured from the experience. I have different outlooks, and my abstaining from drink, pornography, and other bad habits (in my POV) requires no effort on my part. I haven't been given the courage to resist these things... I actually don't want to. Has anyone else experienced something to this degree?

And finally. I don't mind it, but I've noticed my mind's eye is always wrapped in thorny vines. Has anyone else experienced this?


Thank you for reading !!!

Hey Sinbad, welcome to the nexus!

That was a very nice read. Quite the experience you had, and what an outcome! I'm happy for/with you.

Great read

Thank you both. I've actually decided I'm going to do a bit more this next time versus less.

I'm not trying to prove anything. I'm just curious if I actually CAN trip harder.

That being said, I'm not an idiot. I only plan to do 1.5x the volume of all the things I did last time, and see where that takes me.

Chances are, I'll get slapped down hard and not enjoy it one bit, but I'll see.

That's up to me.