Hi I’ve gone through dramatic change over the last 6 months for the better it’s been the hardest times of my life.
I drank nearly everyday for 15 years and was a disgusting human, the only reason I say was because until 3 days ago I was still not right.
I started abusing psychedelics the second time around when they came back into my life after having a 3 to 4 year break not by choice, but lack of availability. then all sorts of psychedelics flooded back into my life mainly DMT i smoked around 750 cones of spice and about 730 of them I was drunk or had alcohol in my system along with the rest of the team, CID, SHROOMS, MESC, EVERYTHING that came my way. The only time I would stop drinking is when I was a sleep or on psychedelics or work even then if I was working night shift I would drink no boss’s till I got caught.
Then 6 months ago I woke up the usual thing would to check the clock if I was not working to see if the boozer was open as there would be no alcohol left from the night before. That morning I just stood up and started walking out of my room and in between taking a step I felt something switch from the right side to the left side within my brain physically I’m not sure what it was but from that day I’ve never had a drink not even really had a urge it’s strange I really feel like I was never a heavy drinker.
Then 3 months ago I got hyper slapped and felt like I wanted to die I would never wish that feeling upon no creature I wanted the world to evaporate and end right there. I have a beautiful partner and two beautiful daughters one is 4 the other is 8 months and I would never want to die or leave them let alone take there world/reality away from them but it hurt.
I came out better from that day and thought I was good to go then round 2 just when I thought I was doing the right things I was missing the key to the slap. I had put somethings half assed in to play, the bells rings for round 2 I get kicked from the universe a well deserved kick I really did not see it coming I was looking for a slap. So I am down again man this is hurting but me being me I’m just begging for the universe to go again.
So I try half assed, once again and mainly and most importantly the key I’m missing it to unlock the cage once again but me being me are too blind to realise I need the key the universe laughs at me well deserved the bell rings here we go what happens next has changed me forever.
But first the key the key is my partner and I was a dick of a human being towards her and never helped or really cared I did don’t get me wrong but no where near enough I love her she is a beautiful soul and until 3 days ago I was still lost in belief.
The final blow this hit was like nothing u could prepare urself for it was like every street fighters moves in one super universal uppercut my partner of 10 years and know for 20 had cheated on me with my best mate of 20 years which had been under my roof every day for 2 years trying to get into her pants it hurts like you would not believe. But I’m good like really good I love her so much that I knew I would forgive her and help her as lack of care and help on my behalf before hand I was not going to turn my back on her when she needed me the most.
So that’s about all I’m feeling amazing for such a shit time strange feeling it is but I think I finally get it and understand and could take any hit from the universe anytime. ✌️