Hi guys, I have been stalking the nexus for years and decided to make my first ever post! I have been extremely eager to share my trip report from my very first DMT experience that completely transformed my life with all you travellers, also wondering if anyone would like to share any experiences they've had with the "Goddess" or just tell me something cool about your insights. I know a lot of us experience recurring similiar themes and entities, please dont hesitate to share!

First time I smoked nnDMT freebase was in my early teens (15 at the time but don't be alarmed, I was extremely resourceful then, did all my research, knew all the safety, listened to a lot of Terence McKenna & Alan Watts, Erowid and watched a lot of PsychSubstance for safety and had a natural inclination to the mystical experiences since I was little, no one has heard of it in my country, I had ways, you probably can already guess how I acquired it if I told you it was Noumena's dream sand), I was extremely nervous with anticipation, my friends were afraid and I knew I ought to go first, in which I recited the quote "Nature rewards courage" by Terence McKenna as my mantra repetitively to myself then proceeded to take those milky tokes from a glass rose in which I felt a strong buzzing vibration as my body started dissolving into vibrational particles and wavelengths, slowly disintegrating as the walls and friends around me turned into crystalline mosaic of red, orange fiery mandalas and sacred geometry akin to that of a middle eastern rug with full open eye visuals as the ceiling fan spun and materialized into the head of Hindu elephant god Ganesha with all the jewelry and ornament adorned perfectly just like the scriptures, ancient paintings and sculptures. At this point I had ZERO prior knowledge to Hinduism or this elephant god archetype (like how on earth did I see that specific thing?) before breaking through completely on the third toke.

My surroundings and vision turned completely pitch black with all the monkey chatter, neuroses, and thoughts of the human mind completely silenced, as if I was just pure consciousness floating in pure nothingness, it was the most peace I've felt in my whole life at the time up to that point in time. I have been in a sensory deprivation tank and this was that but on steroids, a literally interpretation of experiencing "Brahmān" you could say.

Out of nowhere slowly emerged this hyper-surreal laser-etched matter of neon lights and hyper dimensional non-euclidean geometric jeweled monolith which unfolded then morphed itself into some sort of inter-dimensional bar with bar-stools and tables contrasting the black background as if I was in an interdimensional space café and felt this intensely warm, empathogenicly loving maternal energy presense, pure love and warmth and there she was (felt like a she), this beautifully complex being or entity that was blue, purple and with many arms, emerges out of my focal point and just started dancing in incomprehensible ways as she shifted and trailed in the most mind boggling and metaphysical manner, it was like meeting the spiritual manifestation of the loving energy of the universe or whatever you want to call it, Anima, Gaia, Her, the Goddess archetype.

I could also describe it as watching an inter-dimensional alien belly dancer whispering me the secrets of the universe that my dumb ape brain was always going to be too small to comprehend anyways but damn, it did felt like a lifetime of beauty and truly inexpressible beyond the expression of any human's intellect due to the limit of our language capabilities.


(art by @mitimae_art)

It felt like a profoundly primordial timelessness even though it was only 10 minutes it felt as if I never left or never went there, eternal yet ephemeral. Waves of reassurance washed over me with every move, every stroke this entity made, felt like some ancient soul healing technology in the form of love and beauty. In that moment I felt that if such a beautifully divine moment could be experienced and reaffirmed by the seemingly infinite love and bliss, then surely this is all I ever need, then the feeling of oneness encapsulated me as the distinction between self and this entity, aswell as the universe dissolved.

Afterwards I cried from how beautiful it was as I slowly returned to my body and the first thing I said was "Take me back" as tears of absolute satisfaction rolled down my eyes, that moment demonstrated me what it is to be whole, what pure bliss can be, and truly what it means to be love. The message I felt from that experience was that everything you ever need is already within you as you are all of that, the universe, and how every entity encounter from then on is an infinite reflection of the one, my nihilism and self loathing completely washed away and cleansed as in that moment I was literally shown that there COULD be more than my tiny little ape brain can ever fathom in a lifetime, real humbling experience.

It also made me realize that these entities are not something to be put on a pedestal, they're as much you as you are the universe, divine not in the sense of hierarchy but in the sense of oneness, which is a pretty simple concept of nonduality, even shitty and traumatic experiences and hyperslaps are there to test your will and help you heal and grow. I was blown away but at the same time, I've always felt and knew of her presence on an intrinsict level my whole life so when I met her I was like "Hey its you! Im back here again, I missed you and love you! How are you?!"

Yes DMT may be a chemical, it may seem trivial to some to experience such a thing and apply so much from it but damn it was absolutely astonishing and it changed my life completely, like it has for many of you guys. That is why DMT stands for Divine Moments of Truth and why nature really does rewards courage, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and Namaste to you all!

Thank you so much for expressing and sharing your experience so well. You're helping me to get off the fence and at least try the refined chemical psychedelics - my introduction to psychedelics has been plant medicine.