Hello DMT nexus
This will be a long introduction so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it. I will try to keep it as brief as I can. I have been a long time visitor to this forum which i found many years ago. I have only now gotten around to joining as I feel the need to make some posts and share certain experiences and ideas I have had about psychedelics and related things.
I've lived a strange life, but that's a long story for another time and place. In brief, I'm 25, I studied Philosophy and Psychology in uni. (For all you Philosophy or Psychology nerds out there, my favourite Philosopher was Heraclitus and my favourite school were the presocratics. I still hold them to heart but today I feel like Marx, Guy Debord (society of the spectacle) and more recently Mark Fisher (capitalist realism) give the most important purchase on our situation right now. My favourite Psychologist is Carl Jung, an opinion likely shared by Psychology nerds on this forum, but my favourite Psychology book and I feel one of the most important right now is actually "Social Amnesia" by Russel Jacoby, which is a critique of contemporary psychology regarding the neoliberalization and privatization of psychology. I would love to discuss any of those topics with anyone here who shares the same interests
)
As for my other hobbies I smoke a ton of weed and play video games
. Mostly rts and fps games. I am very big into music but into a very few bands- Opal with Kendra Smith, and Spacemen 3 are two of my favourites.
I started smoking cannabis at 14 and became interested in psychedelics later in my teens. I did a great deal of research online back then- neurosoups old harm reduction videos, erowid, shroomery as well as this forum which I spent a lot of time perusing. When I was 18 in my first year of uni I experimented for the first time with psilocybin mushrooms. Liberty caps grew every year within walking distance of where I lived, which was my entry point, but they never yielded more than a peripheral psychedelic experience in the low amounts I could find. I then obtained a grow kit of "golden teacher" cubensis which I grew. Over a period of about two months, I ate hundreds of grams of fresh cubensis, always alone. Once or twice i did low doses with friends but I found the experiences shallow and much preferred being alone while taking shrooms.
Two particular experiences stand out from this time. One on a dose of around 40g fresh in which I saw something that someone else exactly described in a DMT trip report over on erowid. I will link to it when I make the full post as I intend. (On this occasion I experienced ESP phenomena and over this period of a few months I experienced many strange synchronistic phenomena that I would also like to discuss). The other, and more significant experience was on a dose of upwards of 60 or 70 grams fresh in which I experienced what I call the onset of the "death event" or what is commonly labelled ego-death. This was an experience of a very serious nature which later lead me to an understanding of the psychology of the mind, the self and the religious experience, and fast lead me to an understanding of the grave seriousness of the high dose psychedelic experience.
I suffered harsh HPPD for 1 or 2 years after this period of reckless experimentation, the symptoms of which I found interesting and would also like to discuss in a seperate forum topic. I have not done psychedelics since then (7 years ago) and have long recovered from the HPPD, but not a day passes that these experiences do not weigh heavy on my mind, and the high dose experience has scared me away from any further experimentation with psychedelics to this day. Because of this, I have never tried DMT, which at some point I had considered a life goal.
I feel like this introduction has been longer than intended so I'll wrap it up now. Thank you for taking the time to read if you have made it this far
I would like to get forum membership so I can post a few threads for discussion with qualified enthusiasts
- one on each of the psilocybin trips that I mentioned above, one on hppd, and one on synchronicity, esp phenomena and dreams.
I've been up all night answering the questionnaire and writing this post. Its 9am here now. Time to get some shuteye
Thank you again, and hello again to the DMT nexus