I've been trying to break through, I have the glass vapour genie and have used it around 10-15 times. I started low and have worked my way up.
Most of my trips have been more or less the same, I go to this other world, there are creatures all around, morphing and moving and going about their lives, and also complete ego death, I have no awareness of myself or my life or who I am, I'm just part of this new world. I've always thought this to be the "waiting room." And at some point I open my eyes, and that's when I first start to remember who I am and how I got there.
Other times I just black out, and the only thing I remember is going in, and then when I first open my eyes and start to remember who I am.
But the thing is it has nothing to do with dose. On some of the low dose trips i've blacked out. But on some of them I've also gone to this waiting room, so I figured I need to smoke more. Lately I've been doing high dose trips, and been blacking out a lot. I've read smoking too much can cause this. (been loading say 100mg, way more than needed, I know, but I don't clear the pipe, so I don't actually smoke that much and whatever is left is left for next time, basically the advice mentioned here:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=37220))
But then other high dose times I go to the waiting room, to which people say you need to smoke more, take a 2nd hit. But I'm telling you this is physically impossible for me. When I take a good first hit I know my entire lung capacity is full of thick vapour. I start by pulling slow, once it's thick, exhale completely, then start taking it in. Often by the time my lungs are just about full I am too disoriented that it is taking every last remainder of my sober mind to remember to hold it in. I don't remember putting the pipe down, nor closing my eyes, nor breathing out (but I know I hold it in long enough bc when I do it around someone else they've told me so).
Anyways, so at this point, I don't know if I need to smoke more or less to find the "sweet spot"? I don't want to waste more on large doses if it's going to continue leading to black outs or waiting rooms. But like I said I worked my way up from 20mg, and had both types of experiences, unrelated to dose. Thoughts?
But actually another thing, writing this out made me realize that I think on my most recent trip today, when I thought I went to the waiting room on a high dose, I don't actually recall anything about it. Usually I remember at least some details about the creatures, so maybe I am just kind fo assuming that's where I went, and all these high dose ones have really just been blackouts?