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DMT and suicide Options
 
clop
#81 Posted : 5/14/2020 1:42:40 PM
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fink wrote:



Hi Clop. The true beauty of tripping balls is that, eventually, when we come back down, we can really have an appreciation as to the magnitude of correct wiring connections that allows us to sense the world where we live now in a way that mostly makes sense.

Things don't wobble so much.

Sights, sounds, tastes and emotions are more or less understandable and so very beautiful.

Consider then for a moment that there could well be an intelligent, if slightly sadistic, design behind all this that we have for such a brief and terrible, incredibly pleasurable moment.

It must have taken some real hard work to lay down the initial code that allows all our molecules to function together in a way that can coherently decipher light, sound, physical and emotional sensations. (If there is indeed no intelligence behind this development that somehow mutated unstable quarks into you and me then that is even more incredible and worth a bit more of our patience).

Some altered states have hurt my brain so much that the only thing that got me through was the belief that sooner or later I would be able to compute and process my surroundings with the help of that wonderful code again.

It might well have taken 14 billion years to write this code and even if it is still in the pre-alpha stage, overflowing with bugs and balancing issues, it is a true masterpiece and could be the greatest labour of love ever created.

I would strongly urge anyone who would listen to me not to pull the plug on that system. Perhaps at the very worst case, just repeatedly mash Alt-f4 and ctrl-alt-delete until something boots back up.

The circuits will fry themselves beyond repair eventually and without that incredible code....well... trying to process all this data could be really, really terrible. Quite possibly for eternity.



But what would be Alt-f4 hahaha
 

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clop
#82 Posted : 5/14/2020 2:53:54 PM
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hug46 wrote:
JCpenny420 wrote:
clop wrote:
Hi guys, I'm new here and I'm sorry to post this controversial and polemic topic but I needed to take out of my chest.

I've been struggling through depression for a while but before this pandemic shit I was taking ayahuasca and it was helping me. The thing is that on some trips it came to my knowledge a side of me that wanted to end this physical body/experience and it struck me like a lightning bolt.

After I watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnn0IU0-atg which Leo from actualized tells about his 30-day experience with DMT, it made me consider even more this option of suicide. The point that touched me is the fact that if we all are just one, (and I kinda believe this a little bit because of the ayahuasca experiences) and we live this illusion of separation, why not just end all this suffering and miserable life that I'm leaving and merge "this infinite love" that doesn't require a body.

I appreciate your help.

Cheers


Be careful listening to leo please, he does have some good advice but he also has a god complex which is very unhealthy and can be dangerous to the folks listening to him.


This ^^^ Please do not entrust your life to what you have listened to from a UTUBE guru/life coach/celebrity. Most of them are just self centred narcisists. And i would definitely not trust the words of a narcissist who had just taken DMT or 5MEO dmt each day for 30 days as i do not think that it is conducive to any kind of critical thinking. I went 15 minutes into that video and red flags were waving all over the place for me.

Asher7 wrote:

Remember, you’re the only Clop we got. The number of people is many, the number of Clops is 1.


And this^^ Clop, I don't know how old you are but if you were to suicide it is sure that you will leave people behind that will be devastated.







Thanks for the love man
 
clop
#83 Posted : 5/14/2020 2:57:18 PM
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(deleted message)
 
clop
#84 Posted : 5/14/2020 2:59:44 PM
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Anonymous2 wrote:
You should realize the OP is hardly ever answering any constructive question, such as what their diagnosis is.

Many people are trying to help so the thread already grew for four pages, and it’s almost always on the top of the forum.

I believe it should be deleted or closed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book)


I believe that u don't help. And who are u to say if some people here are helping. They are. There are some pretty good and solid comments here. If u doesn't to read it, just don't come here.
 
fink
#85 Posted : 5/14/2020 3:43:28 PM
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clop wrote:


But what would be Alt-f4 hahaha



The key binding? I am not sure. Everyone uses a slightly different keyboard. But everyone does have an Alt F4 and task manager somewhere.

The function? To close down all processes that are not responding correctly. If necessary right the way back to a factory reset. We, most of us at least, all start with a functioning operating system. Over time we fill our HDD with data, attempted new code and viruses.


Somewhere deep in those endless terabytes something can get corrupted very easily. It's just a matter of fixing, tweaking or otherwise deleting the rubbish. Once a more clean and stable OS has resumed everything just seems a whole lot better.


I would start with a really deep disk clean and defrag
I don't know much, but I do know this. With a golden heart comes a rebel fist.
 
clop
#86 Posted : 5/14/2020 4:09:56 PM
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fink wrote:

The key binding? I am not sure. Everyone uses a slightly different keyboard. But everyone does have an Alt F4 and task manager somewhere.

The function? To close down all processes that are not responding correctly. If necessary right the way back to a factory reset. We, most of us at least, all start with a functioning operating system. Over time we fill our HDD with data, attempted new code and viruses.


Somewhere deep in those endless terabytes something can get corrupted very easily. It's just a matter of fixing, tweaking or otherwise deleting the rubbish. Once a more clean and stable OS has resumed everything just seems a whole lot better.


I would start with a really deep disk clean and defrag

Cool analogy since I'm a programmer. hahaha. Initially I saw ur alt-f4 as meaning to put an end, but didn't understand on what
 
OliverJ
#87 Posted : 5/14/2020 4:20:29 PM

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fink wrote:
clop wrote:


But what would be Alt-f4 hahaha



The key binding? I am not sure. Everyone uses a slightly different keyboard. But everyone does have an Alt F4 and task manager somewhere.

The function? To close down all processes that are not responding correctly. If necessary right the way back to a factory reset. We, most of us at least, all start with a functioning operating system. Over time we fill our HDD with data, attempted new code and viruses.


Somewhere deep in those endless terabytes something can get corrupted very easily. It's just a matter of fixing, tweaking or otherwise deleting the rubbish. Once a more clean and stable OS has resumed everything just seems a whole lot better.


I would start with a really deep disk clean and defrag


I love this Thumbs up
 
Eaglepath
#88 Posted : 5/14/2020 4:21:18 PM

I rather root my values in my own hallucinations than in society´s neurotic illusions..


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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtTUsOKjWyQ
"Too cute to live, too cozy to die" - Eaglepath
 
fink
#89 Posted : 5/14/2020 4:42:29 PM
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clop wrote:

Cool analogy since I'm a programmer. hahaha. Initially I saw ur alt-f4 as meaning to put an end, but didn't understand on what



Alt F4 should only close the running programs, does not turn off the PSU!

I remember spending nearly 10 years, staring at the screen, waiting for some of my processes to respond. When I finally closed them down and searched for updated drivers I was able to move forward again
I don't know much, but I do know this. With a golden heart comes a rebel fist.
 
dragonrider
#90 Posted : 5/14/2020 6:08:14 PM

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Eaglepath wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtTUsOKjWyQ

This noble man is truly acting on behalf of mankind as a whole here.

Not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve!!!
 
WanderingCat
#91 Posted : 5/14/2020 6:38:11 PM

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I can see where you are coming from and the reason why. However I don't believe you should take your own life. Life can be hard and it will always be filled with ups and downs but that is what makes it life. We can make things easier or harder on ourselves. I've had similar thoughts too but I just kept living and so far life has been better than it has ever been. Keep being good to yourself, stay healthy, and live healthy. You are your hardest judge, so never be too hard on yourself.
Grass Grows When The Tiny Cat is Dreaming

Phangz wrote:

"this is your height on dmt.."
 
Anonymous2
#92 Posted : 5/14/2020 8:57:49 PM
The more you know


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clop wrote:


I believe that u don't help. And who are u to say if some people here are helping. They are. There are some pretty good and solid comments here. If u doesn't to read it, just don't come here.


I didn’t say they didn’t help. I said many people are trying to help. I meant it as they are doing their best to help. It might be a language problem if you understood it otherwise.

You don’t need to defend them because I didn’t criticize anyone who is trying to help you.

What I wrote was the fact that you are not answering certain questions that could improve the understanding of what you are dealing with. Knowing more about it could improve the efficiency of helping you.

Your reaction is also described in the book I linked.
 
hug46
#93 Posted : 5/14/2020 11:46:30 PM

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dragonrider wrote:


And i find the idea of there being a "highest truth" a little misleading.



I think that is a bit of an understatement bro. He is banging on about being deeper than enlightened teachers. Among the bullshit detecting fraternity guy's like this are gouped using the binomial nomenclature "megalomaniacus dickheadissimus" And if he is encouraging his audience, who i would imagine are mostly made of people looking for help in their lives, to take 5 meo for 30 days in a row in order to seek the highest truths, then he is a dangerous dickheadissimus. What an irresponsibe, self absorbed wanker he is.



Oh! Hold on a minute! I was wrong. I've just discovered this little gem . My life is now complete! I take back everything i said Leo. You are the messiah...






 
Anonymous2
#94 Posted : 5/15/2020 8:41:07 AM
The more you know


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Edit: removed
 
xss27
#95 Posted : 5/15/2020 5:00:41 PM

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hug46 wrote:
Oh! Hold on a minute! I was wrong. I've just discovered this little gem . My life is now complete! I take back everything i said Leo. You are the messiah...


There was a youtube comment on the video linked in the OPs post, with a timestamp, where he is discussing his porn collection and viewing habit during this 5meo process. 36mins in if I remember.

We're all human and all but this guy evidently has an issue with porn. Not saying people can't have good ideas or insights whilst having that issue, but it should at least be acknowledged that maybe they're not the best to goto for wisdom and life advice, let alone talk of enlightenment.

Taking 5meo over and over in itself is a big fucking flag, but then the porn as well during that time? Drop the lie and just admit you like to get fucked up and indulge in hedonism lol.
 
Anonymous2
#96 Posted : 5/15/2020 5:22:38 PM
The more you know


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Edit: removed
 
Tony6Strings
#97 Posted : 5/15/2020 6:12:02 PM

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Anonymous2 wrote:
You should realize the OP is hardly ever answering any constructive question, such as what their diagnosis is.

Many people are trying to help so the thread already grew for four pages, and it’s almost always on the top of the forum.

I believe it should be deleted or closed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Games_People_Play_(book)


Then why are you still here typing totally off topic nonsense? I think maybe you're jealous that clops thread is seeing some action, while yours are largely ignored. You are super disruptive to the welcome area.

On the topic of the original post. I had a dmt breakthrough during which I was instructed never to take a life, mine or anyone else's. It is precious, a gift, the most valuable thing there is.
olympus mon wrote:
You need to hit it with intention to get where you want to be!

"Good and evil lay side by side as electric love penetrates the sky..." -Hendrix

"We have arrived at truth, and now we find truth is a mystery- a play of joy, creation, and energy. This is source. This is the mystic touchstone that heals and renews. This is the beginning again. This is entheogenic." -Nicholas Sand
 
Eaglepath
#98 Posted : 5/15/2020 6:27:45 PM

I rather root my values in my own hallucinations than in society´s neurotic illusions..


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Quote:
. I had a dmt breakthrough during which I was instructed never to take a life, mine or anyone else's. It is precious, a gift, the most valuable thing there is.


The mushrooms told me to drive the car off the road and end this prison.. That's the exit to freedom.. And your real home... So it depends who you listen to haha...

But it's better to have some pacience...

Just because you get mad on the game and throw it out the window with knowledge that there are new games waiting in the store, it doesn't hurt to play it through.. you will always gain something..Pleased

God like this muddy place.. Like an old Mustang 67 is more charming then the 2020 modelPleased
"Too cute to live, too cozy to die" - Eaglepath
 
dragonrider
#99 Posted : 5/15/2020 7:43:45 PM

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Anonymous2 wrote:
xss27 wrote:

We're all human and all but this guy evidently has an issue with porn. Not saying people can't have good ideas or insights whilst having that issue, but it should at least be acknowledged that maybe they're not the best to goto for wisdom and life advice, let alone talk of enlightenment.

Taking 5meo over and over in itself is a big fucking flag, but then the porn as well during that time? Drop the lie and just admit you like to get fucked up and indulge in hedonism lol.


Although I might be more accepting of porn and hedonism than you are, we might come to a similar conclusion.

For starters:
* I consider porn good
* I consider sex and porn on drugs awesome
* I get in a quite sexual mood on mushrooms and pharma onset

But, it doesn’t work.

Soon after the mushrooms or pharma kicks in, I have no reason to watch it. Once or twice it was interesting for a while, but that’s gone.

I mean, Hindu gods fighting wars with demons on my wall when I take mushrooms. Snakes and who knows what kind of creatures are moving inside the floor and the walls.

On pharma, I don’t see snakes or Hindu gods with open eyes, but the last thing I would want to watch is my computer screen.

So, although I can’t see anything wrong with watching porn, and I don’t think such thing as "issue with porn" exist in the first place, I don’t understand why one would do it more than once or twice on psychedelics.

Even on a mushroom trip, which can have a more sexual onset than a pharma trip, there is a point from where you don’t need anything. No music, no movies, no food, no porn. All you need is you, and a bit of water.

I don't think porn is bad by definition. Sex and lust play an important role in our lives and in our psychology.

But the problem is that most of the porn is just porn of very poor quality. Most of the sex you get to see in porn is realy very bad sex.

The focus is very much on breaking taboo's, more than on desire and lust.

And it has a very bad effect on many people.

For instance, do you know why so many people shave their genitals these days?

Because in the late 90's the porn industry started to look for 18 year old eastern european boys and girls, who looked a lot younger because of malnutrition they had to endure in the crisis of the early 90's (collapse of the soviet union). They where told to shave off their pubic hairs, so they could make legal porn that resembled childpornography.

Kinda sick isn't it?
Think about that next time, when you pick up the trimmer. Laughing
 
xss27
#100 Posted : 5/15/2020 9:44:08 PM

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I have to disagree regarding porn not being an issue - I'm talking from a purely individual physiological health perspective, and not the morality or ethics behind pornography.

The way that guy described his usage indicates he has a problem with it, an obsession even. Using it an unhealthy amount causes issues for men, that's well established, especially digital based pornography. There's something about screens I think that messes with us neurologically when engaging with that one handed hobby.

Anyway, the point was that that guy in the video is not someone you want to be taking life (or death) advice from. Someone else already raised their concerns about him in this thread, in that the guy is a narcissistic loon who's disappeared up his own cosmic cornhole. I mean honestly, just taking 5meo that many times is a huge flag on its own, let alone all the other crap he apparently talked about in the video.
 
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